obihayve AnImE FrEaKs Kt45 Gaurdain Maturin's blog: "Obi's movie reviews"

Army of Darkness - 1992 Bound in human flesh, inked in blood, and amazingly hard to pronounce, the ancient necronomicon, or Book of the Dead, unleashes unspeakable evil upon mankind in director Sam Raimi's outrageously hilarious sword and sorcery epic. Back to do battle with the hideous "deadites," Bruce Campbell reprises his role from the EVIL DEAD series as Ash, the handsome, shotgun-toting, chainsaw-armed department store clerk from S-Mart's housewares division. Demonic forces time-warp him - and his '73 oldsmobile - into England's dark ages, where he romances a beauty (Embeth Davidtz) and faces legions of un-dead beasts, including a ghastly army of skeletons. Can Ash save the living from the evil dead, rescue his girlfriend, and get back to his own time? Overflowing with spectacular special effects, ARMY OF DARKNESS will make you scream with fear and laughter. Anyone who is familiar with the Evil Dead series will have a jump start on understanding this crazy movie. The attempt at horror/comedy pretty much ends up being very funny. Although there is a lot of low class humor the language is very mild. some sexual content and violence bring the R rating for this film. The comedy is a big change from the first two movies in this series. Evil Dead one and two were decent (although low budget) horror flicks done in the old style of not really ever seeing the antagonist. Army of Darkness on the other hand doesn't even fit in the same genre. If B horror movies aren't your thing then you may want to skip this one. But if you need a laugh and don't mind poor acting then this movie will hit the spot. Overall i would have to give this movie a 3 out of 5 tankards.

The Water Horse - 2008 When a lonely young boy named Angus discovers a large, mysterious egg along the shores of Loch Ness, no one is prepared for what lies within. He soon discovers that the strange, mischievous hatchling inside is none other than the Water Horse. Growing ten times its size every day, Angus finds it increasingly difficult to keep his new friend a secret. Two-time Academy Award nominee Emily Watson (1998, Hillary and Jackie, 1996 Breaking the waves) Alex Etel, Ben Chaplin (the thin red line), David Morrissey (the reaping) and Brian Cox (running with scissors) star in this heart warming tale from director Jay Russell (Tuck everlasting) and written by Robert Nelson Jacobs (Flushed Away). This movie set back in the time of World War II is a great film about friendship. It has some real heart tugging moments and scenes of what it means to be a true friend. The special effects are wonderful and keep to a supporting role in the film. After watching it a few times i decided I WANT A WATER HORSE! The PG rating is only because of some mild language and "action peril" as the film jacket states but is, in my opinion, barely a PG movie and in many cases would be acceptable for a select younger crowd. I rate this enchanting story a solid 5 out of 5 tankards.

Beetlejuice - 1988 What's a yuppie ghost couple to do when their quaint New England home is overrun by trendy New Yorkers? They hire a freelance "bio-exorcist" to spook the intruders. And everyone gets more than he, she or it bargained for! Director Tim Burton (Batman, Mars Attacks!) teams with Michael Keaton (night shift, Batman). The result? "Keaton's Beetlejuice is one of the biggest, baddest wolves a ghost movie has ever unleashed, a polter-gas." (The Village Voice). He's a juggernaut of jokes, jolts and jive who hurls one-liners, spins into grotesque forms, gobbles insects and can't leave ladies (living or dead) alone. Keaton's wild work in this and Clean and Sober won him 1988's national society of film critics best actor award. Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Winona Ryder and Sylvia Sidney share starring honors with the movie's wondrous production design. Harry Belafonte's soundtrack tunes and Academy Award - winning Best Make-up. So exorcise your right to fun. Say the "B" word three times and have a wonderful DAY-O! This movie is another wonderful classic. Michael Keaton makes a wonderful antagonist in this film. Beetlejuice is a hilarious laugh roit from the moment Keaton comes in. This interesting view of the afterlife is rated PG, so keep the little ones out of the room for the adult humor. The all star cast melds well. The plot is well put together and is easily followed. Many of the gags and lines in this film are common place for my generation. This is a great flick to add for a good collection. Three flagons seems right for Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, but 5 out of 5 is what it deserves.

Herbie fully loaded - 2005 Start your engines! Lindsey Lohan (Mean Girls, Freaky Friday) does the driving when Herbie - the fun-lovin', freewheelin' '63 VW Beetle with a mind of it's own - returns better than ever in Disney's all new, revved-up comedy adventure! Though a third-generation member of a NASCAR family, Maggie Peyton (lohan) has always been forbidden from following her racing dreams by her overprotective father (Michael Keaton - First Daughter). But she has no idea her life is about to take a huge u-turn! After discovering the irresistible Herbie in a junkyard, they form a magical team that will save her family and rewrite the racingrecord books! With Breckin Meyer (road trip), Matt Dillon (there's something about mary) and an all-star cast along for the ride, you better believe ol' number 53 has some new tricks under his hood. The Love bug is back in this humorous escapade. For sure a film the whole family can enjoy, with a G rating you don't have to worry about much more than someone choking on a movie-time snack. Not quite as good as the originals in my opinion, the way Herbie is animated at times takes away from the old love bug magic. However this being a disney movie it does bring herbie to a younger audience. A overall great movie to sit and watch with the family. four out of five tankards.

SpaceBalls - 1987 May the farce be with you in this hysterically funny space oddity, created by comic genius Mel Brooks, that will send you into hyperspace with fits of laughter! Lampooning everything from Star Wars to Star Trek, this outrageous send-up of epic sci-fi movies is full of cosmic crazies who score "eight trillion on the laugh-o-meter" (Gene Shalit, NBC-TV) Fearless - and clueless - space heroes Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) and his half man/half dog sidekick Barf (John Candy) wage interstellar warfare to free princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) from the evil clutches of Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis). On the way to the rescue - in their Winnebago - they confront the huge, gooey Pizza The Hutt (Voice of Dom De Luise), sassy robot Dot Matrix (voice of Joan Rivers) and a wise little creature named Yogurt (Brooks), who teaches them the mystical power of "The Schwartz" in order to bring peace - and merchandising rights - to the entire galaxy! Spaceballs is another Mel Brooks masterpeice. The only time I heard the term mogg outside of a Final Fantasy game! this hilarious film is will have you laughing to ludicrous speed! All the subtle humor makes this a movie you can watch over and over and still pick up new things. Any sci-fi fan will love this flick, the best sci-fi spoof I have seen to date. Mel has done it again. 5 out of 5 tankards.

Misery - 1990 Novelist Paul Sheldon (James Caan) doesn't remember the blinding blizzard that sent his car spinning off the road. Nor does he remember being nursed back from unconsciousness. All he remembers is waking up in the home of Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates)- a maniacal fan who is bent on keeping her favorite writer as her personal prisoner... for the rest of his cock-a-doodie' life! Horror at it's best. no supernatural tale, just one insane fan who has totally lost her marbles. The casting of Kathy Bates was perfect. she plays Anne Wilkes perfectly, James Caan also captures the role of Paul Sheldon without flaw. As with all book based films there are changes made, probably to keep things a little more civil. The movie is not quite as graphic as the book but still had plenty of scenes to make one cringe. Wonderfully told by Stephen King and adapted to the big screen by William Goldman this story will send shivers down your spine. 5 out of 5 tankards for sure!

I-SPY - 2003 Superstar Eddie Murphy (the nutty professor) teams up with Owen Wilson (Zoolander, Behind enemy lines) for a hilarious, action packed thrill ride. Famke Janssen (X-Men, Goldereye) also stars as an ultra-sexy secret agent. A super-powerful experimental spy plane is stolen by an evil arms dealer and is about to be handed over to an international terrorist. The U.S. Government drafts an egotistical boxing star (Murphy) to join a suave special agent (Wilson) on a dangerous top-secret mission to get the plane back. Armed with the latest high tech gadgets and a whole lot of attitude, this ultimate odd couple might be able to save the world - that is if they can just get along. Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson, great combination! I laughed my ass off. Even if this is a re-make of an old movie it was well done. Comedy fills this film and works wonderfully with the plot. Owen has always been great at playing the "dumb" or "clumsy" part. Eddie was excited to play the boxer as he used to box before he got into acting. He is also good at playing the egotist. Although it is fiction it gives a funny view into the lives of super spies. This film would be a great addition to anyone's film library being rated only pg-13. It's no secret this film is a 4 out of 5 tankards.

The Relic - 1993 Come in - if you dare. The opening-night gala for a new exhibit at Chicago's natural history museum is under way. But be advised: something terrifying wants to make sure no one ever leaves. Penelope Ann Miller, Tom Sizemore, Linda Hunt and James Whitmore star in this effects-packed shocker that gives haunted-house movies a terrific new setting. And the non-human star (brought to head-ripping life by Jurassic Park Oscar winner Stan Winston) is something no creature fan can let slip by. This horror movie is well written, strange i don't hear more about it. I found it in a pawn shop and fell in love with the plot the first time i watched it. The premise is eerily possible, and really kinda freaked me out for a little while. Acting was great, plot good, and it has an original premise. What i liked was the gore was not a focus really, and the suspense well placed. In the spirit of old, you don't see the antagonist except for quick little glimpses until the end of the movie. But when you do look out monster lovers, the movie jacket didn't lie, it is a REALLY cool creation. Great movie for a scare and there is some humor folded in too. overall i rate this flick 4 out of 5 tankards.

The last starfighter - 1984 Can a teenager from a trailer park in the sticks find happiness as an intergalactic warrior? That's the premise of THE LAST STARFIGHTER, a magical adventure starring Robert Preston, Dan O'Herlihy, and two of today's most exciting young stars, Lance Guest and Catherine Mary Stewart. It's the story of an alien scalawag (Robert Preston) who recruits a whiz kid at the video game, Starfighter, to fight outer space wars to save the universe. Besides appealing characters and an intriguing plot, THE LAST STARFIGHTER features production design by Ron Cobb of Alien, Star Wars, and Conan the Barbarian fame, plus computer generated special effects that go far beyond anything seen on film. Wow what a claim the video jacket makes! And it is a major exaggeration (yes i am taking into account for when it was made). The story is great but it has a very low budget feel. Even though it was low budget, it still lacks too much. the acting was rigid and seemed almost rushed. I still like this film, it's not bad and in my opinion is good for it's time and a great example of classic sci-fi space fantasy. Plot was great and made up for lack of acting but still is just a rent me not buy film. A solid 3 out of 5 tankards.

Dreamcatcher - 2003 Jonesy, Henry, Pete and Beaver are bonded by friendship... and by the strange powers each acquired on a fateful day in their childhood. But now a horrific entity is putting their friendship and powers to the test, and some of the four will die. And some will save the world from a menace unlike anything seen before. Suspense, Heroism, Awesome effects. They're all unleashed in this Stephen King tale adapted by William Goldman and director/co-writer Lawrence Kasdan. A splendid cast, headed by Morgan Freeman as a shoot-first alien hunter, powers the eerie goings-on ranging from a monster flushfest to a massive animal migration to inner mindscapes and beyond. Dreamcatcher : it's a sci-fi/horror fan's dream come true. Sai King's book was transfered to the movie screen fairly well. it followed the book closely right up to the end. But few movies follow the books in totality so i can't really complain too much. The cast was great and the Jonesy/Mr. Grey scenes were great. This tale kinda reminds me of dear camp back when i was a teen, except without the aliens. The casting was wonderful, almost have trouble reading the book now without picturing the movie cast. Wonderful effects added to this movie rather than were a focus, nothing too flashy, just enough to flavor the scenes not dominate them. "fuck me freddy" and "SSDD" are now common things heard at my workplace, so i know others are enjoying this flick too. We even had a kid who called himself duddits! (he even would raise up his arms in mock salute to the character). So with this films invasion already established and it being a film watched over and over, i give it 5 out of 5 tankards.