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Goin4it's blog: "Insight"

created on 03/05/2015  |  http://fubar.com/insight/b362062

Noticed the Duck

hey

went to the hospitial yesterday

after pokin me and stuff
for about 3 hours
the doc came back in
and said well,

your not going to die.

with tears in my eyes I asked him "you mean ever?"

he says no, of course not, everyone dies at some point

I sighed and said Whew,
 
dodged a bullit that time


hey you awake over there

no wonder I can't hear ya laughing

I put in all this effort
typing my fingers to the bone
just to make you smile and guess what.

it didnt work

oh well, later....



Lmao, im here.


I was just sittin here cryin

thinkin how much my feelings be hurt if I had any


I been noticing some things

I been thinking some things
about what I been noticing

and I put the two together
and I ponder..........................

then it happens, click

two pieces fit together

then theres another

and another

and another, and another
and just like that

Lol, i love how ur mind works

a picture started forming in my mind



then I realized it was just a duck


but I was thinking of something ya know

a telephone is a wonderful thing

you can call a place

and exchange information

and when ya git done you can hang up

and call some other place

and do it all over again


my mind works kinda like a telephone

except I don't have the hang up feature

my mind stays connected to everywhere I've ever been

everywhere I've ever thought about

to places I can't even imagine yet

most of the time it's like static,
noise, can't tell what anything is
just want to shut it off but I cant

not even when I sleep

after a few years I started getting used to it,
background noise
dont even notice it on a good day

but it's still comming in

and it's being stored

right along with everything else
in a part of my mind that I'm
not using right now

and once in a while

I might be doing anything

and without any warning

a little bit of something leaks through

and it's all by itself

perfectly clear

don't know what it means but it's there

I ponder it for a bit and go
back to what I was doing before

maybe an hour goes by


maybe a day,

or a week,
or a month or more and then


it happens again,

just like before

feels just as strange

still dont know what it means

it's like a cycle maybe

so this goes on

and every so often

I never know when

it happens again

and then something is different

something comes through
and it seems to have something to
do with this other thing
that was already here
and that one there looks like it belongs over here
and that one and, look the one comming through right now,
it goes right here
and just for a second
I think I see what it's suppose to be

it's a

it's a

shit, it's a duck again



but it aint always a duck,

do you see what I mean


sometimes it's bigger

sometimes it's more massive



sometimes it's a goat



I'm still in training

I haven't got anything
that means something yet

just gotta be sure I can when it's time, wait...........

something's there..............

........I can hear it..........

it sounds like........

...Like.....

they changed the channel
now all I'm gettin' is commercials

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