When I love, I love with all my soul it consumes as if flames engulf my very being. When I hurt, I'm shattered into a thousand peices and trying to put them back together again is like trying to put a puzzle together where some of the peices are missing, I will never be whole. I've loved, I've lost been broken into a thousand peices and everytime I put myself together again there's a hole because they're peices that are lost forever. I feel as if I don't belong anywhere or with anyone. You can look into my eyes and see all the pain that is there, it's obvious and there is no use trying to hide it or trying to pretend. I'm tired I wish this all would end, I'm tired of fighting a battle that I will never win. I'm tired of feeling alone even though there are people around me I don't think they understand. I am almost to the point of numb, but I don't want to be numb I want to feel I'm grasping at the last few strings of humanity that I have, but to feel what I feel is almost too much to endure at times I wish I would just die, some days I just want to give up end it all say goodbye to everything and everyone....disapear, would I be missed, I'm sure I would.....but people move on and people forget so is one single solitary person really that important? This week has been an emotional rollarcoaster for me the ups and downs and spinning upside down is enough to make me puke, now I feel as if all I'm doing is going down....I dont see an upward point but there is an endding I'm going to crash I'm not quiet to my lowest point but I'm very close to it. Some say I'm smart maybe I am but I feel stupid for thinking someone can love me, I feel stupid for not being able to get my life together, I try something different and once again I've failed....seems like a pattern to me. Others say I'm talented.....right thats a joke I can't even create something without being fucked up that some talent huh? Most say I'm funny well everyone is right about that I'm the biggest joke there is....I may sound emo with all this woe is me shit but I fucking don't care this is what I'm feeling so laugh if you want to, go out of your way to hurt me if you so choose because it really doesnt matter anymore. Thanks and have a good night
