This is a bunch of lyrics that I strung together during my relationship with my first love. A few days before I had either seen or heard that he was making out with and had left bite marks on a girl that I was friends with. It was a fucked up situation….
July 12, 2004
You held my hand
And you gave me that kiss
Why did you have to go?
Let's talk this over
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
Sit on my bed alone
This is when I start to bite my nails
And clean my room when all else fails
I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside
I wish that it would just go away
All the pain
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back and forward
Inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
My words are cold
I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you
I don't think you'd understand
My heart is broken
I'm lying here
My thoughts are choking
On you, my dear
If I had my way, I'd never get over you.
Today's the day, I pray that we make it through.
And I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation, I just wanna cry in front of you.
I wanna scream
I thought I liked you a lot but I'm really upset
Get out of my head
That's when I decided
Why should I care?
I'm in this thing alone
I thought we could be
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
So much for my happy ending
It's nice to know that you were there
And making me feel like I was the only one
I won't forget
Any thoughts of you and me
Have gone away
I'm better off alone anyway
I know I need to step up and be strong
There's no point in thinking about yesterday
It's too late now
It won't ever be the same
I think it's time for me to bail
This point of view is getting stale
All by myself I need to get around this
One thing's true
There's always a brand new day
I'm gonna live today like it's my last day
'Cause I'm all right
I'm fine
I've done no wrong
I'm moving on
And the most fucked up thing about it was that this was written in the middle of our relationship. I didn’t end things with him until Halloween of that year. Stupidity on my part, and confusion on his.
Now this is pretty much the same thing, but for my second love. I edited things a little to make it fit…pronouns and shit like that.
January 10, 2008
I used to think…
Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place
If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday
If only time flew like a dove
Well God, make it fly faster than I'm falling in love (and I meant that)
This time we're not giving up
Let's make it last forever (oh, I wished…)
We'd make it last forever but…
I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you just threw it away
I'm not so naive
My sorry eyes can see
That's what you get when you let your heart win
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here (because I’m making myself sick and..)
I still try holding onto silly things, I never learn.
Pain make your way to me, to me.
And I'll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think straight,
This heart will start a riot in me
And I was always..
Holding onto patience wearing thin
I couldn't force these eyes to see the end
and thought…
Why don't you stand up, be a man about it?
Fight with your bare hands (for me) about it now and…
Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.
I told him I couldn't lie he was the only one for me.
And then you just threw it away
I can't force these eyes to see the end
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Cause we are broken
You've hit your one wall
Now find a way around
I’ll be ok…I always am…
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
I don’t wish bad things on you, I don’t hate you, and I’ll always be here for you.
