P478's blog: "soulmate, wat is?"

created on 05/27/2009 | http://fubar.com/soulmate-wat-is/b297035

posted on 05/27/2009&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;09:05&nbs-07:00;pm

note 2 self, rouph finish
http://fubar.com/note-2-self-rouph-finish/b297035-1027018

its been asked wat is true love, are there realy one heart and one soul for one other out there. i would like 2 think so. ive never know it 2 a fact. but i have ben in love twiced b4. ....actually 3 times. felt those butterflies in ur stomeck and felt all warm and good... kinda high. and u think thats as good as it gets but thats ONLY, the BEGINNING, of it all. was like i was loosing control of myself, never felt those fealings b4, and very hard 2 get those kinds of fealings, (very hard 2 get those relationships)the more ive tried 2 understand it, the fealings, the more control ive lost. was like walking in butter, like every hard thing ive know turned 2 marshmellows. my mined i guse wasnt capable 2 except it all so fast, (mayb thats whn they say i cant breath, ur smothering me, spend the day or week apart) but i never said that. but did hear this cool ass kick ass song by queens rice (or how u say the band name) was called sialent lucitity. that song, listin 2 it! WORD PER WORD! it speaks the trueth! was all exackly i could relate 2, either had those fealing already or quickly grew in2 them! those words r so comperhensively correct and 2 the point!! but i took that song, and was so in2 compfort with it as it has shared fealings and so it in a way giuded me in threw the relationship. i then knew and regain more control, i guse the saying is true, knoledg is power. but sadly neither one of the 3 relationships worked, the first one was 2 young and got restless. (she never realy knew what she wanted) the second was ruined by myself (fear i guse that it was turning i n2 the same deal as the first and i never wanted that fealing of gr8 loss like that again, i could c how it may end and wasnt long until then so i quickened the process as if i had the control and it wud hav made me feal better....it didnt) the 3rd, i was so inlove that i wudv givin my right arm 4 her! if ever any kind of situation came up, an axcident or sum fault of force of another, i was ready and willing 2 except ALL challenges! but that 2 failed.... she was cheating on me and not only that, it was.... *FRM THE BEGINNING OF THE REALATIONSHIP* so how was i spose 2 feal bout that. but its all over now and the first one i was n lov with, shes got NINE KIDS! WOW! .....no theres no 2nd chance with that one. but the question is that is there TRUE love? YES!!! ALWAY!! YES!!! i stil believe in true love! you know WHY??? becouse I! CAN TRUELLY!! LOVE SUME ONE!!! if i myself was 2let my past relationships ruin my ways of thinking, than no matter what ever happens on this planet, (good, OR bad) i may never b happy in my life again! becouse

1.) if i dnt believe in love, it may just pass me by wuthout me even knowing it! and as hard as it is now 2 find true love, and possibly only ONE PERSON OR SOULMATE OUT THERE 4 ME! possibly my ONE AND ONLY CHANCE OF TRUE HAPPYNESS! just! MAY! pass me by!

2.) all over i c ppl thats had there hearts broken by others, and so they NOW dont believe in TRUE love! and so i might have ben the ONE TRUE LOVE FOR THEM! but no matter how hard ive tried! no matter WHAT WALLS IVE TRIED 2 GET THREW! they never heard me! never believed enuff! and that did kinda hurt me aswell, cus in a way it was sumthing so beutifull that never happened or never cudv ben! bout like that fealing u get whn u gotta sneez but cant.

3.) i believe in love! true love! all it takes is YOU 2 belive in true love 2! me and you! if THAT IS wat u want! if i allowed myself 2 not believe in true love, after belkieving all my life that there is and all ive ever known had sudden dissapeared, than who am I! WHAT would happen?? u know that fealing? if i didnt believe in it any more, than I WOULD NOT B ME!

THUS I WOULD NOT EVER IN ANY KIND OF FOODS, CHOCOLATES OR DRUG WOULD NEVER KNOW ANY KIND OF HAPPYNESS! COUS I HAV THEN ALLOWED MY TRUE SELF 2 JUST GIVE IN AND DIE!

wat brought me here 4 this blog, i just had a re~acurring fealing, was like ive answerd a question 2 myself that took so long 2 answer, call it exsperiance, i guse. but ive hav had many questions and could not answer, asked others at times 2, but they either didnt know or i could not truelly understand it. sumtimes u just need 2 b there urself and 2 actually feal it. answers ive finally revealed myself, the next day, (sumtimes even the SAME nite) i could not remmember the answer, OR i never could c it as in the same way i saw it that nite! its like trying 2 reach out 2 sum one who isnt or never was there. its like reaching out 2 myself and all i get is a cold and empty fealing.

all these cites u go 2 dating and personals, wat do u like, wat u consider 2 b ur best match, i never could enjoy filling those out lol as no one els can im sure. but i was 2 lazey a lot of the time! or if i wasnt.... wat was there 2 say.

question: wat do i need most in a relationship.

answer: many many lolbut i now have answers, i dntt feal like looking all those cites up 2 givem all the info! oh well rite. so i wanted 2 keep a note, and share with u all. and hope mayb 2 catch ur eye. i need love, true love, i am careing and conciderant, i wish 2 find the same, i like all music but sum is a no no no, im sure ull agree! looks do matter but as long as u take care of urself and dont have 2 b perfect at that! true love cums above that! i find strong women sexy! thats phisical and mental. but not a negative if not! i do find myself most atracted 2 black haird women (long) but that 2 is neither a negative if u dnt have. i think every ones sexy in there way. (its urs, u claim it) and THATS SHOWS STRINGTH! theres alot i could say, but id b here all the next day and stil not b done! it is sumthing that u realy do hav2 learn in time as we get 2 know each other. any questions u need 2 know just ask.

answer: im not so sucessfull in sumtin thats not in my intrists, or not very compattable with, or the unknown. i hav not completed a lot of things in life. but was believed that i had 2 complete my school in cherokee, it was hard, took gr8 determination! but i dug both hands n and gripped the hell outa it and haild on 4 dear life! was the first thing i completed 4 myself ever, ...well i made a 2 yr goal b4 that at work and made that! so thats 2. but work, whn i first started soon as i was 16, and i can not lie, i was so clumsy and did every thing wrong lol any one els it took 2 weeks on average 2 learn and get better at it, took me 1 MONTH! lol but once ive laerned it, i was unstopable! not clumsy, hit the targets EVERY TIME! am the BEST.... okay... WAS the best there 4 like 7 yrs lol so im not as popular now *shrugs shuolder* but my point is it may take me sum time 2 do things, if i got intrists in it, it takes a whole lot less time, (hyper active, hddhdad watever ya call it) but if stuck with it, i just may b the BEST! and i wuold....

ANSWER: i would like you 2 b there by my side, threw thick and thin, never give up, never doubt, share ur stringths with me, ill be there 4 u!

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