Today just sucks! My week with my son is over and I have to leave shortly to take him home. I have told him we have to get ready to go and he just keeps saying "But mommy I dont want to go home".
He keeps telling me that he wants to stay with me. I hate this! I dont want to take him home, I wish he could just stay with me. Hes said so many things to me this week that make me wonder if I am being painted the correct picture of what really goes on in his home.
He is so sensitive and innocent, all of this crap with the court between his dad and me is in no way good for him.
I know his father loves him as much as I do. I know that he would never want to intentionally cause him pain. I just dont think that he and his family have really taken into consideration what a custody battle does to a child. Especially one who has special needs like our lil one does.
Once upon a time, my exhusband was my best friend and now it seems as though we are at war. Its wrong to make a child suffer like this.
He needs us both, not together, but at least working together, doing what is best for him.
I will never give up fighting for my son, never give up being there for him. Yes its hard for me to do financially since I am on disability and they are forcing me to fight. I mean lets face it, my ex has a never ending supply of money to pay lawyers with and his dad will finance it all.
But I dont care if Im poor for the rest of my life, I will go to my grave fighting to do what is best for my son. I will fight not to let him be turned into the pawn that his daddy was turned into by his own father.
My ex needs to remember that this child was something we made together, that we dreamed about together. We went through alot to have him and we both loved him from the day we knew he was conceived. He needs to stop looking at the things that tore him and I apart and focus on the things that are important now. Make sure that this child knows that both of us love him, that both of us are still there for him and that not one other person means as much to the both of us as he does.
Ive been a child whos dovorced parents hated eachother, who put me in the middle of all that hatred. Its not right to do this to a 5 year old, its not right to do this to any child!
