Are you sick of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound like Hallmark cards, and never come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speak to true friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will! help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible ! stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath ...I pledge it till the end. Why, you ask?
Because you are my friend.
Remember:
A good friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.
Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel!
