Fiend4Football's blog: "Not really a blog..."

TEXAS

The devil wanted a place on Earth

Sort of a summer home

A place to spend his vacation

Whenever he wanted to roam

So he picked out TEXAS

A place both wretched and rough

Where the climate was to his liking

And the cowboys hardened and tough

He dried up the streams in the canyons

And ordered no rain to fall

He dried up the lakes in the valleys

Then baked and scorched it all

Then over his barren country

He transplanted shrubs from hell

The cactus thistle and prickly pear

The climate suited them well

Now the home was much to his liking

But animal life he had none

So he created crawling creatures

That all mankind would shun

First he made the rattlesnake

With its forked poisonous tongue

Taught it to strike and rattle

And how to swallow its young

Then he made scorpions and lizards

And the ugly old horned toad

He placed spiders of every description

Under rocks by the side of the road

Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter

Hotter and hotter still

Until even the cactus wilted

And the old horned toad took ill

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom

As any creator would

He chuckled a little up his sleeve

And admitted that it was good

‘Twas summer now and Satan lay

By a prickly pear to rest

The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow

So he took off his coat and vest

“By Golly”, he finally panted,

“I did my job too well,

I’m going back to where I came from,

Texas is hotter than Hell!”