Not Real
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You and I can occupy
The same space and same time
But togetherness is still an illusion
The real distance is in our minds
And our hearts aren’t far behind
Each passing day just leads to more confusion
But it doesn’t matter
I’m not real
And I’m not allowed to feel
Don’t you dig too deep
You’ll ruin everything
I can talk & talk
But not say a word
It doesn’t matter what you heard
‘Cause it’s obvious that you’re not listening
So let’s just smile
Crack some jokes
Share a drink, a couple smokes
It don’t mean nothin’ but the nothin’ that it is
I won’t allow, I won’t pretend
That we’re anything but friends
The kind of friends who keep it strictly biz
I won’t confide in you
I won’t expect you to
Be anything that I might really need
No expectations of
Amazing, perfect love
Here we are, just us, ‘as is’, no guarantees
Now I’m not real, don’t even care
That you seem so unaware
That it’s you who made me something less than me
I’m trapped inside, between the lines
And I can’t get out this time
To get back where I wanted us to be
I’m not real
I was bold and free
But you inhibit me
Make me so unsure of who I am
I’m not interesting
You’re not listening
And neither one of us could give a damn
I’m not real
I’m not real
Just imaginary fairy dust
I’m not real
Not something tangible
Not someone you can trust
I’m just a way to pass the time
A distraction for your mind
I’m not real and there's not much more to say
'Cause you like it just this way...
I’m not real to you
I’m lost inside
The things you wanted me to hide
Like you
I’m not real
~by Nikki, 9/4/08
