(At the front bar of a certain coffee shop, as I’m In the middle of making a caramel macchiato.)
Old, angry, hovering Customer: “What are you doing? I didn’t ask for caramel, I’m allergic! Are you trying to kill me?? I had to wait in line all this time and I can’t get a **** coffee made right!”
Me: “Ma’am, this is a caramel macchiato. I’m sure this isn’t your drink; what did you have today?”
Customer: “I had a latte. I’ve been waiting 10 minutes!”
Me: “Ma’am, theres a latte right here on the counter right next to your handbag.”
Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m late for my movie!”
Me: “Ma’am, I called the drink out three times, you were standing there the whole time.”
Customer: “You should have called louder!”
Me: “I’m sorry, I was practically yelling, I figured it was loud enough. Well there you are, have a nice day.”
Customer: “YOU MADE ME LATE FOR MY ****** MOVIE!”
Another customer: “You get the most evil people here don’t you?”
Me: “LA’s finest, here’s your macchiato. Have a nice evening.”
