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Jake from State Farm's blog: "Nowadays"

created on 07/09/2007  |  http://fubar.com/nowadays/b100448

It’s Not All Right

Retail | Columbus, OH, USA |

(A confused man is looking through the golf balls in the bin.)

Me: “Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Yes…how can you tell the difference between left-handed and right-handed balls?”

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If You Can’t Bring The Pizza To The Mountain…

Pizza Delivery | Denver, CO, USA |

(Sometimes the customers that call are out of our delivery area. We have to find out which restaurant delivers to them.)

Me: “What are your major cross streets?”

Customer: “Federal and Quincy.”

Me: “Okay. That could be one of two stores. Are you North or South of Quincy Avenue?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Alright. Can you face Quincy from where you are standing?”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Are the mountains on your left or your right?”

Customer: “The mountains are in the west.”

Me: “Yeah. But are they to your left or right when facing Quincy?”

Customer: “They are in the west.”

Me: “The mountains are always in the west. If the mountains are to the east of you, you aren’t in Denver.”

Customer: “No. The mountains turn with me.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “The mountains are in the west.”

Me: “Yeah, that would mean you’re in Denver. Now are they on your left or your right?”

Customer: “I’m telling you, the mountains are in the west!”

Me: “I’m not arguing the geography with you. I’m trying to find out where you are.”

Customer: ”Never mind, you’re an idiot.” *click*

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A-Pee-l For An Appointment, Part 2

Clinic | Utica, NY, USA |

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for drug screening.”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed for the day. We open tomorrow at 8.”

Customer: “What! You mean I have to hold it until then?”

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