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Mister Meanor's blog: "Nowadays"

created on 07/09/2007  |  http://fubar.com/nowadays/b100448
Coffee Shop | Ventura, CA, USA | Top

(Woman walks in totally nude and grabs a muffin. She has a large, rather offensive tattoo from her bottom rib up her neck.)

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t just take those…”

Nudist: “Why, because of the tattoo?”

Me: “No, because you need to pay for it first.”

Nudist: “It’s a free country!” *walks out*

(I ended up pulling out my wallet and paying for it myself, because getting arrested for chasing a nude chick down the street is not worth it.)

___________________________________________

Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism

Travel Agency | Pendel, PA, USA | Top

Customer, calling from a cell phone: “Would you tell me how to get to your office?”

Me: “Sure, where are you now?”

Customer: “That is none of your business. Just tell me how to get there.”

Me: “But to do that, I need to know where you are starting from. Are you in our town?”

Customer: “I told you that is none of your $%@# business.”

(After few more exchanges of this sort…)

Customer: “You are an idiot. Let me speak to your manager.”

Manager, who overheard part of the conversation already: “May I help you?”

Customer: “Tell me how to get to your office.”

Manager: “Well, that depends on where you are starting from.”

Customer: “&@#$#!! Just $%%@# tell me how to get there.”

Manager: “Okay. See the next corner? Turn right there.”

Customer: *click*

_________________

Those Silly Ethnics And Their Funny Words

Grocery Store | Colorado, USA |

Customer: “Do you have burrito wrappers?”

Me: “Do you mean tortillas?”

Customer: “Well I guess you could call them that.”

________________________________________________

DNA Is Such A Bother Anyway

Customer Service | Portland, OR, USA |

Me: “Is she your biological child?”

Customer: “No, no, she’s natural–no scientific stuff.”

_______________________________________________

Some Types Of Trouble Are Worth Getting Into

| Texas, USA |

Guest: “Do your steaks come from a cow?”

Me: “Yes.”

Guest: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, her name was Maybell and we all will miss her very much…”

Boss: *not laughing*

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