Customer, looking directly at the draught: “What have you got on tap?”
Me: “We have Stella, Staropramen, Becks Vier, Leffe, Hoegaarden, Franziskaner and Guiness on tap, sir.”
Customer: *sighs* “Have you got Carling?”
Me: “I’m afraid not sir…”
(I run through everything on tap again, slightly slower, and clearer this time.)
Customer: “No Budweiser?”
Me: “I’m afraid not sir…”
(Again I list everything on draught.)
Customer: “Oh, I suppose I’ll just have a Kronenberg then.”
Me: “I’m afraid we don’t stock that product, sir.”
Customer: “Sorry, I meant a Fosters.”
Me: *deep breath* “I apologise once again sir, but we don’t serve Fosters. We only serve…”
(I run through the draught again.)
Customer: “Okay, okay…bloody hell, I’m not stupid you know!”
Me: “I apologize if I offended you, sir.”
Customer: “I should think so. Pint of Worthingtons then.”
Me: “…” *deep breath* “Tom! Your customer!”
