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What are you waiting for?
Have you ever felt so hopeless that you don't know what to do or think? Lately that is how I have been feeling. I haven't been on here a lot, trying to get my real life situated. I feel like such a burden on everyone in my real life, like nobody believes in me nor do I have any moral support in real life. For instance, yesterday was my daughters graduation bbq, I went but none of my family even talks to me, they make me feel like I am totally invisible. I feel like the hate drips from their veins when I am around. I am so close to getting into the transitional place, yet a few weeks out still seems like a long ways away when you are living like I am. I thought family was suppose to be moral support and love unconditionaly,but not mine. Depression has been hitting me hard, but yet I still try to do what I have to do every day. I am hoping that once I get into that place I will finally have the moral support and backing I need to get my life back on track. It's so hard to be positive when all that is around me is negativitiy. I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time for everyone, and lately I have been getting more and more hurt. I can't change the heart thing, it is the way I am, Maybe someday someone will see the good in that. I hurt, my brain hurts my feelings hurt..... I would love to have one person in my real life tell me just once that they believe in me and have some type of faith in me. I am sorry for rambling....
