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For the last 4 1/2 years little pal, you have been so loyal, so much of a constant, that life without you will never be the same. I was closer to you my lil Dingo than I have been to most people in this world, closer than I cared to get to most people anyway. I woke this morning, only 24 hours after your passing, tears from my eyes, loneliness in my heart, I slept without you to guard over me, but I wouldnt call it sleep. In hope that I will be satisfied , I will build you the most beautiful tomb, I hope the articles I buried with you are things you would have wanted to take into the afterlife with you. Little guy be sure and find my Father and Grand Father and Aunt Judy up there lil man, they will care for you till I get to join you again my lil friend, You can never be replaced and your passing was so sudden. As you lay dying in my arms yesterday )ct 1st 2008, I wondered what I would do without you, and so far I still wonder.. the house was so lonely without you , it always will be, I might try and keep your son, but I just hope he loves me as much as you did, I havent decided wether to have another little person like you as a friend again ever, but if I do try and find a friend of the canine nature again it would have to be him.He has your feature and acts the same as you even at his young age, but I dont know if he is capable of loving me the way you did, I dont know if he will guard me in my sleep like you or keep strangers at bay the way you always did. Youll never know what you meant to me and Ill always carry your memory with me and tell Tales of your glorious deeds. I miss you and wish you could return to me, but I know your in a better place, with endless amount of food and water and my family passed will care for you just as much as me cause they know... I love you Boulreguard. Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket


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Re-roomate

Well my good friend Ashley is likely moving back into the house, her and her man are having issues she says she can deal with no longer and asked if she could crash here till she found somewhere to live, I told her, no.. you can live here till you find somewhere to land.. She has been a very good friend since i met her, at the time her boyfriend stayed here and she eventually moved in later and when it came time for me to send him on his way due to his worthlessness.. I was sad she couldnt stay. she is a good roomy, probably the best one I ever had minus my great friend Craig which was my roomy in Knoxville for a long time and we really knew how to throwdown back then lemme tell ya! I welcome Ashley back, but for some reason.. I see "Party People"!! Lol let the good times begin all over again..

This week at the Opera..

As the ringing screaching hums and ooo ooo ooo ooo's of the opera shatter the halls of my skull and I evaluate all my recent events and mishaps and exactly unthought out and spontaneous actions and reprives of miscontent that is me, twiddling my thumbs , racking my brain, doing all the checks and balances that are required day to day.. Im out of check, Im out of Balance.. Im out of Order, lacking purpose, lacking luster, lacking lacking lacking.. and then, another voice rings the halls, a fresh new sound for the audience of one that I am, very smooth, very exciting, its brand new, but its been there for a while.. always just as pretty always as if Id never heard it before, captivating, fascinating, fullfilling.. wow it makes ME feel fullfilled? Me of all people, the one who is always moving , like a shark in search for water to pass his gills.. this feeling, the one I have dropped to my knee's and prayed for so many times, excruciating to ask for simple blessings muchless for one so selfish and arrogant as for someone to make you feel fullfilled... people search always for that feeling, you know, the one where you catch a glance, and though they peer at you, they see into you, read you like a book whose pages you cannot hide, a book you cannot close, and nor would you want to, they made it inside, touched your heart and opened its pages and read from it freely and continue chapter after chapter, and without any encouragement, you didnt even ask them to, undertaken by them alone for the task, they read, every word, every mispunctuated thought, they read on, and you enjoy it, being read, being known, and not known for what you freely show the world, but from all the good things you hide from it, they dug it up, they took the time, they entered via their own accord and they make out the words mispelled within not for what they appear but for what they were meant to be, they know the blank look on your face and what it means and yet never have they been shown it, they know the grin that appears to say "god your a silly one" for what it actually is, the grin of "That was so cute I could hug you".. havent seen it but they know it.. they know you the capricorn whose sign is of the earth and who will look upon any sort of bad happenings and say " Thats sad, but if theyd done this or this or this, then it wouldnt have happened.." prevention not cure they know you and this of you, they know when your mistake is of your own or if it was brought by others for you to make, they see it the way you do, not sad and tragic but eventfull and educational.. Ive been in the clouds sometime.. floating where I ought not be, floating where the air is so thin and you can hardly breathe, suffocating in the clouds, chasing hopeless dreams, untruths and falsehoods... and she cast out a line, with a tiny golden hook , one that catches you by the seat of your pants, and though she is tired and weary from her own battles, she reels and reels to pull you from your own unwisely chosen battle, a battle you have fought and lost and fought again, a battle you spend all your militia upon and with no ground to be gained, no fort to be taken, no spoils of war, no victorious feeling, a battle you fought from the heart with hopes but no expectation, a battle you cannot simply walk away from.. a battle you cannot win.. she reels and reels, tired but she reels on, pulling you ever farther from your position upon the hill top, overlooking your former battlefield in the clouds, the field where waste is laying all around and she reels, pulling you down to earth again, your mind becomes more clear, the air is thicker by the inch as she pulls you down, she reels, her back turned to her very own battles to save you, a friend from yours, she reads on and reels, and her tone fills you with soothing melodic notes, you breathe as she breathes, your getting closer, with no effort, she pulls you closer with hers.. what is she? Is she a savior of sorts? Though she is doing that, she is not a savior.. is she a passing wind that will only take you to another set of cloud ridden desolate battlefields? no she is not, she is firmly on the ground, she is of the earth and not the wind nor the water and certainly no fire, no flame to burn you with, not of the flesh atleast.. no she isnt that, none of that, though she is doing that.. Is she an Angel? Possibly... Under the Circumstances....
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