( Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards
> are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the
> glorious winners:
>
>
>
> 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
> victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
> Elliot
> did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
> tried the trigger again. This time it worked.... . And now, the honorable
> mentions:
>
>
>
> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
> meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a
> claim
> to his
> insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
> men
> to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
> finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>
>
>
> 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
> during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
> taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
>
>
> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
> driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
> transporting
> from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
> incompetence,
> the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
> free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
> telling
> the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
> fantasies The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>
>
>
> 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
> head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
> the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
> close
> he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
>
>
> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
> counter, and aske d for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he
> man
> pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
> promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
> the
> $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
> drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a
> crime
> committed?)
>
>
>
> 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
> that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
> some
> booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head
> at
> the window. The cin derblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
> the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
> Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>
>
> 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
> grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
> was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
> minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
> drove
> back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
> stand
> there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.
> That's the lady I stole the purse from."
>
>
>
> 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
> a
> Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
> demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
> the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
> the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
> walked away.
>
>
>
> ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER* ****
>
>
>
> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
> parked
> on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
> arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
> home
> near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
> trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
> sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
> charges,
> saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>
>
>
> In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with
> your
> friends and family ... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by
> chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad
> they
> are distant and hope they remain lost.
