I wrote this quite awhile ago (before I met me boyfriend I have now).. I found it today and I bet alot of you can relate to this!
As I sit here alone, wondering to myself, when will the day arrive that I will know I have found true love. I have never seen first hand what true love consists of, however my imagination tells me how majical it can be. I see day to day of couples together, knowing and thinking to myself if that'll ever be me one day. I fear the utmost fear of all that I will and always will remain alone. Jealous of all, angered by many. I have known many a men, wishing and dreaming that they could be the one, but unfortunately knowing that they will never be. People say, love can be right under your nose, however if your blinded by bitterness and anger, that one love can move on without even knowing it exsisted in you. I feel as if I need someone rather then to be with someone, for I noticed a path of which I'm taking which seems to revolve around what they want and not what I want. I seem to cling to fast yet losing him through my graps because of my foolishness. I guess my thoughts of finally being loved for a night gets in the way when the fact is they are using me for their own pleasure, as I need to come and realize that the one I think is the one for that night I could be passing up another that could last an eternity, however because of my selfishness I won't let myself endure the loss of that one night of thinking that someone wants me to love or someone whom is just using one knowing the true idea of my intentions. I seem to always confuse my own ideas with others. I don't listen to reason or my heart, I just listen to what they want thinking that I want the same thing even though I know that what im doing is wrong. I get frustrated many a times for I always hear if I was younger, if I wasn't married, if I didn't have a girlfriend, if I was closer that they would date me. When will the factor come into play when someone is actually willing and meaningful and truely wanting to be with me no matter what the circumstances are. As I see right now, the answer is NEVER!
by: Shana aka HppyBubbles
