you should never take for granted what is givin to you. this is why.
Its truely amazing how the best things in your life can slip away with just a touch of a button, a raise of a voice, a look of unconfidence, or just the words you mean with all your heart.
Its amazing that you can care for someone so much be them friend or more. No matter what you may promise, or what you may think, or what you may even know, we never truely are able to control every little aspect no matter how much self control we have for ourselves. we can sit here and deny that we can ever do anything that you know you wouldnt do on a regular basis or a basis at all from your knowledge. but the truth of the matter is. we cant promise that. we dont know that. we cant stop the unstoppable from happening.
i
actually did the same thing. i said to a friend of mine that has always been there. always. never once left me out in the dark. weather she was with her bf or not, she was always there for me and never though twice about why am i doing this. but me as me. i was a fool. i was a idiot. i did what i said i would never do no matter the reason behind it. it was no excuse it was no excusable reason. bad day or no bad day. i raised my voice to her and never once knew it till it was to late. yeah. i know your reading this and like what a a**whole, but seriously. by the time i realized what i just did. i was already out. i had basically lifted myself up and kicked myself out.
after i finally realized what i had done and what i had said. and the sudden silence of the phone.i knew it would never be the same. then it left ringing in my head time and time and time again. i will never forget that last second. the way she gasped like what is this or a i cant believe he just did this. that i will never forget. right before the silence of the phone.
i can truely say i was left in tears. yes i know big army man who doesnt seem to cry, was left in tears after this has happened. i deserved it and i dont deserve to be let back in the position i was with you. and you know this and i know this. and for that i wont ask if i can. but i can only ask if i can still be in your life and for a chance to set the wrongs right. i think of the situation as well as numerous things and you know that. you are in my mind cause i let you there and you know more about me than anyone i can truely think of.
i know things will never be the same, well atleast not for me cause i will always have that guilt in my heart for the one that i did wrong. for the one that never deserved anything anywhere close to what shes gotten from me. for the one. i missed so much...
my heart was ripped out that day and i know it will never be the same. i basically ripped it out with my own words. you had nothing to do with that part.
i guess i need to stop rambling on even tho there is so much to say and i wish to say to you. it was a bad day, a bad weekend, and deffinantly the worse of my life. your my friend and i care for you dearly.
all thats left to say is......
Im Sorry...
i will never forget...
