ibgood63128's blog: "Never Know"

I will be gone for a little while, anywhere between 4 to 8 weeks. Going to truck driving school at MTC in St. Louis. Truck driving school is between 3 to 4 weeks then another 3 to 4 weeks training with the company I will work for. Hoping to work for Star Transportation out of Morton, IL. I will be back later. Wish me good Luck. :)

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hisse fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, .... As in: "Going to town, be back directly." Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, and a good ol' boy. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines; and when we're in line, we talk to everybody! Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. In the South, y'all is singular, .... All y'all is plural. Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... And go your own way. To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning! And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts; I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need is a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could." Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Charleston (Chawl'stn) Savannah (S'vanah) Fort Worth (Foat Wuth) New Orleans (N'awlins) Atlanta (Addlanna) Southern girls know men come and go, but friends are fahevah! Now Shugah, just pass this on to some friends who were raised in the South .... Or wish they had been!

A persons bigheartedness can manifest itself in many ways. Whether you choose to share your bounty with loved ones in need or to donate your time to a worthy charitable cause, you may be surprised to discover that your philanthropic drive exceeds your resources to some degree. If you find yourself wondering how you can continue to give such bountiful gifts with the same level of enthusiasm today now that you see an impending imbalance on the horizon, consider the law of attraction. Remembering that like attracts like can help you stay as strong and determined as ever while you selflessly distribute your resources among those who need them most. When we indulge the impulses of our hearts and give generously of ourselves without wasting our mental energy on thoughts of our own subsistence, we draw blessings into our lives as a matter of course. By giving, we send a signal to a listening universe that indicates we are ready to receive whatever abundance is in store for us. Our selflessness acts like a magnet, attracting goodness and prosperity into our experience, prompting us to be entirely unlimited in our generosity. We need never be concerned about how we will care for ourselves as we draw bounty into our life by caring for others. A cycle of generosity is consequently created and we can enjoy being a part of something larger than ourselves. Your bigheartedness will positively benefit your existence today by helping you see that your abundance is truly unlimited.

HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 10 YEARS??? ---------------10 years ago--------------- 1.) How old were you? 33 2.) Where did you go to school? I didn't 3.) Where did you work? Twin Rivers Reginal Medical Center 4.) Where did you live? Hayti 5.) Where did you hang out? Some Bars 6.) Did you wear glasses? yes or contacts 7.) Who was your best friend? hmmm, Don't remember. 8.) How many tattoos did you have? None 9.) How many piercings did you have? None 10.) What car did you drive? 89 Nissan Truck 4x4 11.) Had you been to a real party? Yes 12.) Had your heart broken? Yes 13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Divorced ---------------7 years ago--------------- 1.) How old were you? 36 2.) Where did you go to school? Didn't 3.) Where did you work? Kelly's Ideal's (My own business) 4.) Where did you live? Hayti 5.) Where did you hang out? Eagles 6.) Did you wear glasses? Contacts 7.) Who was your best friend? Kelley 8.) How many tattoos did you have? None 9.) How many piercings did you have? None 10.) What car did you drive? 89 Nissan truck 4x4 11.) Had you been to a real party? Yes 12.) Had your heart broken? Yes 13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Taken ---------------5 years ago--------------- 1.) How old were you? 38 2.) Where did you go to school? Didn't 3.) Where did you work? Federal contracted security Officer 4.) Where did you live? St. Louis 5.) Where did you hang out? Didn't 6.) Did you wear glasses? or contacts 7.) Who was your best friend? Kelley 8.) Who was your crush? Was engaged 9.) How many tattoos did you have? None 10.) How many piercings did you have? None 11) What car did you drive? 98 Ford Ranger 4x4 12.) Had you had your heart broken? No 13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Taken ---------------2 1/2 years ago--------------- 1.) How old were you? 40 2.) Where did you go to school? Didn't 3.) Where did you work? Missouri Veterans Home 4.) Where did you live? Granite City, IL 5.) Where did you hang out? Eddies 6.) Did you wear glasses? yes or contacts 7.) Who was your best friend? Charlie 8.) How many tattoos did you have? None 9.) How many piercings did you have? None 10.) What car did you drive? 98 Ford Ranger 4x4 11.) Had you been to a real party? Yes 12.) Had your heart broken? No 13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Single **JANUARY 2007** 1.) How old are you? 43 2.) Where do you work? Security 3.) Where do you live? St. Louis 4.) Do you wear glasses? Yes or contacts 5.) Who are your best friends? Charlie 6.) Do you talk to your old friends? Sometimes 7.) How many piercings: None 8.) How many tattoos do you have? None 9.) What kind of car do you have? 09 Ford Ranger 4x4 10.) Has your heart been broken? yes 11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? Single REPOST AS HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 10 YEARS?

Learn it, live it, love it! 1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. 2. Always toast before doing a shot. 3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. 4. Change your toast at least once a month. 5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake. 6. Buying a strange woman a drink is not really cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb. 7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night. (You know who you are!!!!!!!) 8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails. 9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile. 10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink. 11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I'm going to get drunk. I hate shots. It's coming back up. 12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong. 13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message. 14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you. 15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you. 16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you. 17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference. 18. Always have a corkscrew in your house. 19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen. (I’ve tried this, not as easy as you might think.) 20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks. 21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are. 22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands. 23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not. 24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence (I never had this problem the more I drink the mightier I get {umong other things}). 25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people (Wrong, it is never appropriate to shout Woo-Hoo, ever, unless your a drunk hot topless chick). 26. If there is a d.j., you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him again. If he does play it, do not approach him again. 27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works. 28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store. 29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer. 30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink. 31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one (NEIN, if I come home and they are gone, you die. Simple rule, and it will be followed, the only rule I would ever expect a roomy to follow). 32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25. 33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor (by the case). 34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge (If you know me this rule is bullshit, you bring Schlitz, Natty Ice, Budweiser, anything labelled "Light" or "Malt Liquor" you finish your "shit", leave my precious alone). 35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it (Living in NYC I can tell you every "jackass" is doing it, the cool kids do drugs). 36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender's guide and browse through all the drinks you've never tried. 37. Try one new drink each week. 38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him. 39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value. 40. If you have ever told a bartender, "Hey, it all spends the same," then you are a cheap ass. 41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking (you should see my local bars, this isn't always true, heeesh). 42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth. 43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else. 44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it. 45. It's okay to drink alone. 46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her "baby" or "darling". 47. Nothing screams 'nancy boy' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter. 48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser. 49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it. 50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar. 51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row. 52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar. 53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know (Never yell out jukebox selections EVER). 54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean. 55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English. 56. Screaming, "Someone buy me a drink!" has never worked. 57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight. 58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious. 59. If you are broke and a friend is "sporting you", you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move. 60. If you are broke and a friend is "making sport of you", you may steal any drink he leaves unattended. 61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block. 62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him. 63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her OR HIS response.(I had to edit this as it was a bit sexist. Guys are not the only ones to hit on bartenders) 64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers. 65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini. 66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot." 67. Never ask a bartender "what's good tonight?" They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning. 68. If there is a line for drinks, get your damn drink and step the hell away from the bar. 69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours. 70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these brothers and sisters. And if you're really drunk, the fathers and mothers. 71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice (My specialty). 72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they're sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass. 73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it. 74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink. 75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious. 76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar. 77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with "I know this is going to be a hassle, but . . ." 78. When you're in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a fat lip. Unless he's buying. 79. If you are 86'd, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it appear no other bar wants you. 80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way. 81. If you're going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It's the no-tell liquor. 82. There's nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you're supposed to be at work. 83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call. 84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there's something in it. 85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss. 86. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.