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Gentlemen, I invite you to follow in my footsteps and reclaim your backbone. (Ladies are welcome to read along and laugh, of course!) This is a true story from the life of Wolf.
One evening several years ago, my (now EX) wife and I were getting into bed. Well, as the passion starts to heat up, she stops and abruptly says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me." Naturally, my response was "WHAT?!? What the Hell was THAT about?"
So the ex says the words that EVERY man on the planet dreads to hear, "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled and confused look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that, once again, Wolf was NOT getting any action, I went to sleep.
The very next day I decided to take the entire day off of work to spend time with my ( now EX) wife. We went out to a very nice lunch and then went shopping at one of her favorite stores. I walked around with her very patiently as she tried on several different and very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one she liked better, so I told her we'd "just get them all." Then she wanted new shoes to match the new clothes and I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We next went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. The woman was ecstatic, she must have thought Wolf finally lost his mind and she was going to take full advantage of the opportunity! I think she may have been testing me because she asked for a diamond tennis bracelet and she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think it really threw her off when I said, "Whatever you want, dear." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Grinning from ear to ear, she finally said, "I thnk this is all. Let's go check out."
...I could hardly contain my joy when I responded with "No. I don't feel like it." Her face went blank as her jaw dropped and she shrieked "WHAT?!?"
I then pulled the trigger and said it, "I just wanted you to hold this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just then, as the realization of what I had done hit her and I watched the rage building in her eyes, I added "Why can't you love me for who I am and not the things I buy you?"
Well, we never had sex again and we ended up getting divorced later.... but at least that bitch knows that I'm smarter than her!
