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Wicked's blog: "Nail Clippings"

created on 02/18/2010  |  http://fubar.com/nail-clippings/b329508

Nail Clippings

It was a sunny day in the frozen barren land.... A day that seemed like a perfect day to get new phones. As i drove towards the mall listening to a variety of music and really no one pissing me off while driving. All seemed well..

 

I get to the mall and woah look an actual expectant mothers parking spot. I am in luck, there is good in this pregnant world. Im glad I wore runners because walking the cement floors of a mall is a nemesis to a big pregnant lady..


I make it to the store, Im standing in line hes there with another client so i find the nearest wall and lean on it... Oh looks hes done my turn, Hes my guy... the guy you make your store buddy cause you shop their so often they know you... He grabs my phone I tell him what i want he says it will be 20 minutes do you want to sit in the lounge ill turn on the tv. My stomach is growling so i tell him im going to run and grab some food...

I make my way to the bread and saucery company, a cute little coffee shop. I grab a sausage roll and tomato tortellini soup. It looks good now to pass all these tables without hitting someone or them hitting me. I duck weave and manuveur threw purses hands flying , cells being answered and men throwing out their feet. I see the table yes its empty... A lady sits up just before i get their swings her purse out and whump ... poor HAM! she apologizes but i dont care im to hungry just moveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..

Finally sitting at the table by myself, no phone to start ringing im at peace. This is where i realize that karma tends to bite you in the ass when your least suspecting.. You see im a people watcher. I stare at times I like to make funny, or tragic stories about them depending on my mood.

SO as i rip into my sausage roll i notice the elderly couple sitting beside me. I dont focus to much on the woman because I would have to completely turn my head and that's going beyond staring.. The older man is wearing an eye patch. Of Course my head starts with the war stories, then leads into the wife caught him cheating. As my mind wanders and Ive lost complete focus on him i hear this *clip*. Its a very distinct sound...

I look over and there's patchy clipping his nails... they are flying everywhere . Im drying to search my soup for a possible stray nail.. I want to vomit this man has done the most faux pas thing ever... Everyone is now staring at him... I cant finish my food. I walk away with a new story in my head... of a pregnant woman choking on a nail that was put in her soup

 

Wicked

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