Kat's blog: "My writings...."

Shadow leans against the tree watching the moon grace the midnight sky. A sense of longing comes forth. To belong? To be loved? To be wanted? All a wish yet a wish that cannot be granted. Not yet. She bows her head down to keep her eyes from revealing too much. She smiles as she feels Hunter's hand onto her face. Leaning into his hand, Shadow actually moves closer to him to be within his arms for being held is what she craves the most. Wrapping her arms around him as he wraps his arms around her to keep her close. Hunter smiles as he senses the emotions for he knows what she craves yet watching her from afar earlier, her spirit glows despite what and how it hurts her. That self doubt of her spirit tears at his soul, pulling her into his body, Hunter gently rubs her back. A soft whisper had spoken while Shadow vanishes from his arms. Hunter knows she had mastered another gift and slowly looks at Mother Earth's green eyes filled with pain. Amber eyes seeking her eyes for the answer and watches Mother Earth opening her hand. A mirror piece with blood. Not Mother Earth's blood, Shadow's blood. Hunter watches the mirror piece speak and sees Shadow cutting her palm again to grieve at what kills her soul. Anger boils within Hunter, Mother Earth touches his arm to keep him with her. Knowing that if he sought Shadow in anger, she will keep herself within her walls. Mother Earth watches Hunter fight the urge to change into his wolf form. Slowly, she reveals where Shadow is to him. The image of Shadow causes him to wonder what can he do. A breeze comes before him carrying the words, "Love her." Hunter gazes at Mother Earth as the breeze leaves him in shock. Seeking to understand the message, he looks at her and wonders how long has she could have known. Mother Earth gently smiles as she watches the confusion on his face, a mother will always know. She touches Hunter's chest to keep him calm and knows her heart is breaking as she senses the grief from Shadow. She sends him to Shadow. Shadow is laying down on the bank, one hand into the river, hurting cause she left Hunter so quickly and didn't realize that she mastered another gift. Shadow watches the current flow and hopes that she will know that love can be real yet she also wants to be forgotten. To never exist is not her wish. Just forgotten in the manner of the pain she has known. Only her fingertips are in the river, she smiles at the feel of the water. She lets her guard down and doesn't sense Hunter in the area. Her hand still bleeding into the river, Shadow starts to wonder why things are too good to be true. Wonders if she should really keep the walls up forever. Shadow watches the blood flow, red as the sunset fall into a crystal blue river. Quickly, she pulls her hand out hating that she ruined another beautiful thing with her pain. Slowly sitting up, Shadow put back on the bandage and watches the blood flow away from her. Lonliness. A concept that is always with her. Cold. Her body aches from being cold. Warmth is denied to her at all times. Drawing her knees to her chest, Shadow gazes at the forest with a heavy heart. Too many losses. Too many broken promises. Most of all, too many false aspects of love. Shadow bows her head to her knees to ignore all beauty. She doesn't deserve to see this beauty. Her walls form around her, slowly the branches with thorns and blood encase her within. Hunter watches Shadow's walls builds and struggles on how to reach her. He swore to love and protect her. However, as he learns to see the broken heart she has and comes to love her more than ever. Gentle yet, broken like her shattered pieces. He sees a tear caress her face. So many tears have caressed her face yets it breaks him. Leaning against the walls, he watches her keep her face hidden. Silently he breaks through her walls, standing behind her. Hunter tugs on her hair gently and smiles as she looks up at him. Her eyes convey so much, Hunter wonders how could anyone not read her eyes for they tell so much. At this very moment, brown eyes speak of a hope for love, Hunter places his hand on her face gently caressing it. So wet from her tears. He sits next to Shadow and reaches for her injured hand. Hating that she sliced her palm to grieve from the pain within her heart. Shadow looks at Hunter and sees the concern. She moves closer as he moves his arm around her. Shadow leans against his chest to rest. So tired from guarding the one part of her that aches from constant reminder of why she broke the mirror. Closing her eyes, she feels Hunter brushing his thumb on her chin. To truly smile at the simple gesture and knows he meant it. Hunter scans the river of memories yet it shows no memories, just the image of Shadow smiling as he caresses her face. Hunter sees Shadows open her eyes slowly. Brown eyes, for once, not filled with pain yet she half closes them thinking she is keeping her secret. Hunter keeps his eyes blank yet is excited to sense something different for once. Shadow moves away, slowly to sit up on her knees so she can look at Hunter face to face, staring at his amber eyes to read whatever they may say. Hunter reveals everything to her. Shadow bows her head down, confused at what she saw. Instantly she thinks she is not worth the love he has for her, not worthy of anything at all. Hunter pulls her chin up for he senses the change of her thoughts and his anger is displayed. Predator eyes willing to destroy anything to keep her from finishing that thought. Eyes downcast, Shadow looks at Hunter's palm seeing her arrow. Last time she seen her arrow, she had buried it within Mother Earth. Struggling with the thought of Hunter possessing it makes her wonder of him being who he is to her. Hunter senses the struggle within her, placing his hands on her face to keep her calm. He brushes his thumb over her bottom lip, a gesture so simple and so gentle that Shadow doesn't know why he even feel that way for her. Starting to doubt herself again, she looks at him once more and sees a rage in his eyes. She quickly closes her eyes as he places a kiss on her forehead. Mother Earth comes forth and gently touches Shadow's head, needing to speak to her and to comfort her in a confusing time. Shadow looks at Hunter and gently touches his face as she starts to get up. He grabs her hand and places a kiss on her wrist. A simple act. Simple enough to make her stare at him with doubts. Mother Earth smiles at Hunter then looks at those majestic brown eyes riddled with pain. Walking away from Hunter, they come to a spot to rest. Shadow slowly sits on the log carefully keeping her emotions in check. Not wanting to destoy Mother Earth with her pain for everything seems to die if she unleash it. So Shadow rather hide it than harm those she cares about. Looking up, Shadow sees the void and senses its goal to destroy. Mother Earth touches Shadow's face gently and truly love the determination in those brown eyes. Silver light up the forest yet Mother Earth knows it will take time to heal Shadow. She hears the pieces call to Shadow. Looking over at her, Mother Earth sees that she wants to put the pieces back just not ready to. She watches Shadow close her eyes to keep the betrayal hidden and runs her hand over her hip. She knows she created a warrior's heart in that gentle soul that has been destroyed over and over. Loved by many, respected by a few yet Mother Earth knows that Shadow rather be forgotten. Forgotten in the manner of the humilation she had suffered by the act that had harmed her, destroyed her. She senses Shadow hiding the pain from the scar. A deep reminder that her trust is gained by a few yet it is a reminder that keeps her humble of knowing she fought to stay alive. Alive to be shunned by those who she thought were her friends and to have some family turn their backs on her when she needed them. So yes, Mother Earth cries for her daughter. She reaches to touch Shadow's face once more.Silky skin wet with tears for a gentle touch is not always known to Shadow. Shadow leans her face into Mother Earth's palm knowing she cries for her. A mother who will always shed tears for her daughter for she knows words can't express the pain within her heart. Shadow looks at those green eyes that speak of hope for her and most of all, love. Shadow reaches for Mother Earth's hand, squeezes it and gets up to walk away. Mother Earth watches Shadow walk towards the moonlight path, feeling the turmoil in her daughter's heart. She watches her stop to touch Hunter's face and also walks away from him. Mother Earth watches Hunter grab Shadow to him and sees him silently whispering words to Shadow then lets her go. Hunter emerges back to his wolf form to follow quietly. He refused to leave her for so many had left her when she needed someone. Shadow stops to gaze at Hunter begging him to turn back to human form. He turns back. She holds her injured hand up, he grabs it gently while bringing his other hand to her face to comfort. He senses the pain and knows she fighting through the memory. Shadow closes her eyes for she wants to know a gentle touch instead of violence for once. Mother Earth brings them to her so she can help her daughter survive for that pain causes her to shut everyone out again. Betrayal and humilation, Shadow never wants anyone to go through yet she leaves Mother Earth and Hunter again for it was too much. To know someone cares for her. To know someone loves her. To know someone doesn't mind the scars on her. Disbelief. Alone, she rather be and to protect those she loves, Shadow's walls encase her to keep the pain within and not destroy those she love. An understanding that if she lets the pain raidate, she will destry everything she touches and sees. An understanding that if she lets anyone in, they in time will also turn their backs on her...something she cannot ever go through again. Shadow slowly looks at the two people who have always been there with her hurting that she had to leave them once more but not ready to reveal the violence to them. Looking up at the moon, Shadow slowly walks into the dark forest with blood dripping from her hand so Hunter can track her. She sits down on the soft green grass stained with blood silently wondering if Hunter truly meant his actions. The void is not far from her begging her to listen to the words it has to say. Shadow refuses. She puts her face to her knees so she can cry in the dark. Could someone truly love her for her scars? Could someone love her even though she lost her soul along the way? Guide her to complete the mirror to her soul and maybe shine once more? Hunter follows the trail of blood and sees the glow once more. Her glow. Shadow's very heart shines despite being betrayed and humilated. A heart so giving yet it kills her everytime she denied the chance to feel. Quietly he comes near her, those intake of breaths she makes by trying to keep silent dampers the rage within. His amber eyes looks over her frame noticing her face is hidden from him. Black with red streaks hair truly hides her away, gently he pulls back some of her hair so he could wipe away those tears. Shadow looks at him the quickly closes her eyes, the pain of everything that hurts: her grandmother's death, loss of a childhood friend, the betrayals, the humilations, and most of all a broken heart echos in her brown eyes. Trying to pull away from him, Shadow struggles to keep her eyes close, however Hunter does something she never expected. Makes her see from his view of what kills him. Stopping in her movements to get away, she touches his chest with her injured hand and truly gazes into those amber eyes. A gentle breeze caresses them both and whisphers comforting words to both. The breeze whispers to Hunter, "She does love you yet is afraid. Help her." Shadow's words were "He has never betrayed you. Never left your side. His touch will never greet you in violence. Deny him, you're letting that void remain. See his pain? He has kept that from you to help you heal and he needs to heal too. Help him." The breeze graces Shadow once more leaving behind a kiss on her cheek. Shadow lets Hunter gather her into his arms for seeing his pain mirrors her own made her understand that those who love her will always remain. Those who respect her will accept her decisions. Those who have shunned her have lost knowing the great things she has done. Little things to her however they were the greatest gift one had ever recieved. Shadow tries to wipe the blood off of Hunter, he stops her hand and holds it. Her blood will always bind her to him. Cradling her close to him, Hunter slowly lays on his back holding her on his chest. Rest is what they both need while for once they reach an understanding of what binds them together. Two broken souls seeking sleep. Two broken souls become one upon this understanding.

A smile? A gentle one at that There are days where I wonder if I could ever smile again So much loss So much gained So this smile . . . A true one since a year My grandmother's passing A loss A gain A beautiful memory of what family is So I stand in this garden of flowers Smiling as I can hear my grandmother tell me each name of the flowers She is at peace Working in her garden A smile gently caresses her face A year it may be since her passing Yet I smile at every flower For I hear her telling me of each beautiful flower I lay this rose on the bench, Grandma So loved cause of you Thank you for the smile Thank you for being my flowers Every flower holds your beauty, intelligence, and those smiles I miss My rose says it all I love and miss you I picture you smiling as you pick up the rose Placing in the vase bearing out family name Every flower from those of us who treasure what you taught us, most of all,how much we loved you

A voice amongst the wind is seeking Shadow, however the voice knows that she may not want to hear what needs to be said but she needs to hear these words. Some words are hard for her to accept or believe. Hard to know when words should matter and need to be taken in to deal with a broken soul. Broken like the many silver mirror pieces that are scattered throughout the dark forest. The gentle wind comes to a halt; Shadow is sitting against the tree with fresh blood on the bark and gazing at her palm. The wind takes human form yet stands where he stops and sees Hunter, her protector, across the river. Blue eyes stares at amber eyes. Both echoing the same pain in them, for Shadow is why both are here in the forest, both at a lost on how to reach her and both wanting to shield her from any more harm. Hunter and the wind stare at each other then focus on her. Hunter hears a branch break through Mother Earth and sees the branches come forth to encase Shadow within. Shadow continues to stare at her palm not realizing she had silently commanded the branches to form her walls. Blue eyes seek amber eyes with urgency for they had to reach her before they close in around her. The branches have her blood on them. Hunter quickly reverts to his natural form after breaking eye contact with the wind encouraging him to do the same since it would be quicker to get to her. As they come close, they learned she had finally mastered a way to keep them at bay. Hunter reverted back to human form and takes vigil while the wind slowly emerges into his human form watching the blood fall from her palm and soak Mother Earth only to show on the branches that are encasing her. Pain radiates from her. Something he never meant to cause yet he did, words he wants to take back yet he can’t. One thing about Shadow’s forest, words can be spoken however there is no taking anything back for only the truth shall be spoken. Her only wish? Truth. Something denied to her over and over. A voice to be carried across the wind can be anyone from her past, present, or future. A voice to be carried on the wind is someone who passed away. The many voices of love ones that Shadow will always miss, but treasures when she can hear from them. Yet, this voice is new. The wind’s blue eyes is someone of Shadow’s past and was once her present. More branches break through Mother Earth and Shadow never looks up to see Hunter or the wind near by for her head is bent over her palm looking at the blood that flows freely. A ring of walls surround her. Hunter stands up to watch the branches encase Shadow, wanting to break them yet understand why he can’t. He places a hand on the branch hoping to send his strength to her in this tough moment. To know that another love one has pass is hard for her to understand when it was sudden. Hunter had heard the words that the wind is seeking to tell her and knew that Shadow would doubt every word spoken. She is so hurt by the one act of betrayal that to hear words he wants to share and to have the truth behind them, she doesn’t know how to respond. To retreat behind the bloody branches is a natural thing for her. Hunter lets the branch cut his palm. Hoping that she know he is here as always for her. As his blood mingles with her blood, Shadow stops gazing at her palm and afraid to look up for she is not sure if she should look up. . . Shadow senses Hunter through the blood on the branch and looks up to gaze into his amber eyes. Brown eyes convey sadness. Shadow leans back against the tree trying to get up without hurting her palm for the gash is deep yet she can’t. Hunter hears the wind intake of breath as he watches her fall back into the tree and sense the need to hold her for it is a need within his own being. The wind reverts back its natural form and sends forth a bandage for her hand. Shadow wraps her hand up and then touches the bandage in a loving manner. The wind turns back into the human form and stands by the branches wanting to touch her face yet he cannot for she is blocking him out. Shadow leans back against the tree and stares at those blue eyes. Eyes that she could never forget and don’t want to for they belong to a beautiful soul. Shadow gets up and brushes the dirt off of her slowly walking up to the branches to face the wind. Sadness runs deep in her and Hunter motions for her to move a wall down despite the fact that Shadow doesn’t think she can. Brown eyes seek the blue searching for an answer but stops when she sees that she can’t ever have that answer. Brown eyes stares at amber ones wondering why he wants her to put a wall down. Amber eyes stare back letting her know he would not leave her ever in this trying moment. As Shadow turns back to the wind, pain radiates in the message spoken. Shadow looks back at the bandage on her palm and smiles. Her black with red streaks hair shields the smile from both. A tear crosses her face, using her good hand, she brushes it back for she doesn’t want Hunter to break the wall and hurt himself. Her protector means well. The wind starts to change out of his human form and Shadow quickly places her hand on his arm. Her eyes begging for him not to go yet and he doesn’t. The wind quickly turns back into his human form, placing a hand over hers to keep her with him. Shadow manages to get the walls of bloody branches to crawl back into Mother Earth like she never commanded them to come up yet if one looks closer to the ground, there is a ringlet of blood of where the branches once stood. Shadow takes her injured hand and place it on the wind’s face then places it on the back of his neck so she can have his forehead against hers. The wind moves his head so he can whisper his words in her ear and to have her face next to his so he knows when a tear will be shed. Shadow touches his face with both of her hands, her brown eyes letting him know she understood his goodbye. The wind gently places a kiss on her cheek and smiles as his kissed her tear away. Blue eyes reaching the brown ones, he places a hand on her cheek and slowly moves back to revert back to his natural form. As he slowly shifts, he looks at Hunter to speak of his final wish. Amber eyes meet blue and both nod in agreement of guiding Shadow to place this mirror piece back in the silver frame. Hunter picks up that piece and watched the wind shifts completely into his natural form and watches him circle Shadow once more by placing a kiss of hope on her cheek. Hunter places his hand up for Shadow to grab instead she throws her frame into his chest. Careful not to drop the mirror piece or cut her, he gathers her frame with his arm and holds her close. He hears her call for the mirror frame. The frame comes and Hunter slowly touches her cheek to send his strength to her. She intertwines her injured hand in his and takes the mirror piece away with her good hand to place it where it belongs. Shadow looks at the piece and sees all the memories that wind lets her see and chuckles at them. Hunter kisses the top of her head as she steps forward to the silver frame, he lets go of her hand so she can place the piece back with both hands. Shadow steps back to watch the piece join the other pieces she had placed back in many different occasions. She faces Hunter so she can send the frame to its resting place so she cannot destroy it again. Hunter places his hand under her chin so he can see those brown eyes he loves so well. A hint of sadness is in those eyes yet she understands the goodbye. He wraps his left arm around her waist while cradling her head with his right as he brings her into him. Leaning against the tree that bears her blood, he manages to slide to the ground and cradle her closer to him. He relaxes as he feels her slowly heading into a peaceful sleep. For once, she has a chance at peace in being able to say goodbye. He places a kiss on her forehead as he moves her more into the wall of his chest. As he leans back to shut his eyes, Shadow places her injured hand on his chest sending her love for him and everything he will always do for her. Hunter cradles her closer into him and wraps his arms around her to keep her warm while silently whispering for her to sleep. A broken soul and her protector get some rest on her journey to place all her memories where they belong. A silver frame of every aspect of Shadow.

Silver pieces glitter in the moonlight as she walks the pathway alone. Familiar pieces of silver yet they are not silver but pieces of her shattered mirror of her world. Scattered throughout the path on the day that Shadow broke it when an act of betrayal damaged her soul. A soul many say is wonderful yet she feels so alone. Some say she is their light, however she wonders how could she be that. They see something she is not sure of anymore. Not sure of what to believe, how to believe, or even feel. Moonlight hits the path, trying to guide her even though she has walked off the path to turn away from a memory in that shattered mirror piece. As she would step off the path, her wolf with those majestic amber eyes would brush his head against her leg to make her look at the mirror piece. Shadow would glance then turn away still not sure of what she saw. She strokes Hunter's head and looks up at the midnight blue sky. So blue. Blue reflects so many aspects: lonliness, happiness, sadness, whatever she may feel at the time. Yet, at this moment, Shadow feels warmth that is being sent to her from Hunter. A gentle smile caresses her face as she places a kiss on his head. A sense of belonging comes forth.That sense...Shadow has not felt in a long time. That warmth also brings forth the love who she is, scars and all. As she starts to stand, a moment of sadness brushes through her. She closes her brown eyes once she sees the image clear up in the mirror piece and moves away from Hunter, keeping her eyes close so he won't sense her reaction to what was displayed. Most of all, to keep him in wolf form. She slowly open her eyes once the image fades away and clears the expression to keep Hunter from learning of what passed. Sadness has always been apart of her when she destroyed the mirror and why she walks this moonlighted path. Hunter is there to protect her soul at all times. His strength makes traveling down the path easier even when she is not sure of where it may take her and what will be shown to her. As she walks today, a call silently reaches her ears.A silent whispher that calls to her, for each mirror piece calls to her, wanting to show her a memory. A memory that begs to place back into the frame of what she shattered in a moment of pain. A mirror to her soul, yet broken from the day her world was destroyed when she was betrayed, humilated and blamed. A broken mirror means no one except family can truly see Shadow for the person she truly is. Others will see glimpses of who she is but never know. However, this whisper stops Shadow. She moves further away from Hunter and turns her back so she pick up the piece to truly see the image that is displayed. The moon hits the piece to make the silver shine throughout the path, making her face to be seen by Hunter and anyone who wants to know Shadow. Shadow slowlys puts a hand on a tree knowing that the bark would cut her and she leans harder so the cut would deepen. Her only way to express the pain for no words could be mutter. She wouldn't even know how to express in words of why that piece hurts her. Hunter emerges into human form once he saw the blood on the tree. Shadow pulls away from the tree and tosses the piece further down the path. Hunter's eyes sees the image to be shown of when Shadow's trust was shattered,not once but twice. A trust of those she had to be only turned against when she needed helped to handle what was done. The moon shines on her, letting him see the look of sadness. To have a smile on her face? That has not been there for a long time. Something he longs for, yet she has to be ready to puts the pieces together once more, scars and all. He sees Shadow lean over another piece and starts to move closer but only to stop as he sees Shadow touch it willingly. Shadow touches the image reflection of her grandmother. A lost. Yet, what was shown was her grandmother's smile. Now a memory to behold since her passing. A piece of the mirror she is willing to place back into the frame along with other family members and friends who are her world. She holds the piece gently in the palm she cut against the tree, a drop of blood is on the piece but nowhere near the image of her grandmother.She stands up against the tree calling for the frame to come before her. A silver frame with a tiny portion filled of pieces she has placed willingly while the rest is black and void. Hunter comes to Shadow and places his hand over her as she places the piece into the frame. Shadow gently places her grandmother's image into the frame and uses her tears of acceptance of her lost to seal her loving memories of a grandmother who has done so much for her family and others and didn't give a damn what race, creed, or status. Her grandmother is the very being of what others should be, caring, beautiful, and doesn't give a damn when told you can't do it for you can do whatever you set your mind to. And yes, she was one of Shadow's rocks. Her grandmother was there when she told of the misuse of her trust, when her world was destroyed, and helped her through the blame of others. A gift of love that came easy for her grandmother, yet so missed by her. As Shadow watches the piece she had placed turn into the part of the mirror as if it was never shattered in the first place, she links her fingers within Hunter's. For safekeeping, Shadow sends the mirror away and turns into him so doesn't see where it goes for she doesn't want to destroy the mirror ever again. Hunter holds her close and senses so many emotions going through her yet, no one except for family and friends will understand how hard it was for her to accept that loss.

A howl is heard across the forest, reaching Shadow as she sits on a rock staring at the arrow buried in the ground. A wooden shaft that tries to unleash itself from the blood soaked ground. A silent command was spoken and the arrow remains still. Blood is only around where the arrowhead is buried. The part of what Shadow wants to remain hidden and she is the one who commanded the arrow to remain. She hears the howl of her protector once again and knows he is running closer to where she is. She turns to the direction of his howl and sees the blood red sun setting against the purple-blue sky near the edge of the forest. Shadow turns her gaze back to the arrow in the ground to secure the safety, but she stares into the amber eyes of her golden wolf. He sits by the arrow with his gaze questioning hers. No emotion is needed. No words are spoken. Brown eyes stare at amber eyes. Shadow closes her eyes to keep those majestic amber eyes from reading them. She bows her head down to look at her palms, hoping to avoid displaying the pain of why her arrow lives in the dark part of her forest. As she looks at her palms, she sees where she has dug into the skin, breaking it. Never looking up for she knows that her eyes will always betray her.Only a few get that and her protector knows too well of everything she buries away. Out of the corner of her eye, the golden wolf emerges into the human form and places his hand over her palms to keep her from damaging her palms even further. Instead he only seeks to give his warmth she seeks for she is cold and knows she has been sitting here watching arrow slowly fade into Mother Earth. He also knows that she doesn't want him to see what is in her eyes, yet he already knows what lies in her heart. A heart that has been bruised over time. He glances at her arrow buried in the ground. Amber eyes scan the area around and glances back at Shadow who is staring at the arrow. He senses her grief. Her struggle to keep the arrow where it is, buried and hidden away. A heart that carries a pain only known to a few. Amber eyes watches the arrow struggle to unleash itself from the blood soaked ground, then hears Shadow give the command to cease. The arrow remains still. Shadow pulls her hands from her protector for she wants to leave the area. So much loss. So much pain. She doesn't want to answer his questions he holds in his eyes about why the arrow remains. Shadow avoids looking at him as she pulls herself up from the rock. She named him Hunter, for he hunts to put her soul at peace. He hunts to soothe the very fears, hurts, and dreams Shadow once treasured. Hunter, her golden wolf and the very beacon of light that is here in this forest that has many dark colors. Nothing is vibrant here. What has color? Hunter and the arrow. Hunter refuses to let go of her hand and gently pulls her toward him. Shadow refuses to look at him so he placed his hand on her chin to guide her to look at him. Her skin soft and cold. As he looks into her brown eyes, he sees what he has known along, pain, humilation, and wanting that sense of belonging. As he gaze further into her eyes, he sees the explaination of why the arrow is buried in that blood soaked spot. Her grief crushes his being. His breath is lost for a moment for the pain is great. Never ending. Shadow breaks eye contact for Hunter does not need to be trapped as she in her walls. Hunter moves his thumb across the silky skin of her chin trying to warm it. His other hand caresses the back of her skull as he pulls her head to his chest. Shadow wraps her cold arms as Hunter wraps his arms around her. She seeks his warmth. His strength. His love. She seeks for the inner peace that is denied to her at every waking moment. However, her protector manages to give that to her now and only now. She buries her head into his chest and feels him place a kiss on the top of her head. She cries at the gentle gesture he gives, yet also crying for the arrow - the very part of who she is truly - she had buried into a realm of no return. An arrow that reflects the gentle being of her soul. The part that remains hidden in the walls she created to keep it safe from the constant reminder of what was taken from her by an act of violence. Hunter feels the tears on his chest. Silently cursing that she does not feel release from the pain. Every shake of her body as he holds her giving her warmth makes him want to hunt. To hunt in the manner that is only known to him as a predator, yet he cannot and will not leave her alone in this dark forest. Will not leave her to face the very aspect that makes her hidden for that unknown part of what triggered the violence will kill the gentle being he treasures. He pulls her into him closer to ease the shakes of her body and hopes that her tears will cease. The same silent command she utters for the arrow, he said for her. The tears and body shakes ceased. He can now give her the warmth she needs. He places another kiss on the top of her black with red streaks hair and looks at the arrow to bury into Mother Earth for her to protect the soul of Shadow. No more is there blood on the ground where the arrow once stood instead there are multiple wild flowers growing. Mother Earth emerges into human form to look at Shadow and smiles at her. She conveys to Shadow that the arrow can remain here until she is ready to have it back. Mother Earth places a hand on Shadow's cheek to send her love. She walks back and emerges into her natural form. Hunter moves both of his hands on Shadow's face and makes her see his amber eyes to send his message of hope. Shadow knows she is protected and loved by those who she treasures. To have that hope is all that matters now.

Looking upon the moon, the darkness eases the self doubt away and the Shadow can be the person not many see. Some only see what they want to see, for once she wishes that they see what she cannot express. Some are too busy to even notice for she always listen to them no matter what but when it comes to her some are around and try their best to help while others...are not truly listening. She hears the howl of a wolf. She smiles as the wolf comes to where she sits on the bank of the river. Nothing has to be said. As the wolf sits beside her, he stares at her with those amber eyes, understanding the secrets she holds in her soul. That gentle creature places his head in her lap and she strokes his head, soaking in the strength and love he gives to her. He sleeps as she gazes into the silver moon for her peace for the time being. Peace, a word that only is sought for a moment. For the Shadow, the peace is only temporary. As she looks at the moon, settles against the tree and closes her eyes to hide away every emotion that is brought forth. To hide away what many do not see or cannot understand. As she falls into a sleep that is needed for her soul, that gentle wolf emerges into human form. He places a hand onto the side of her face trying to bring the comfort she seeks. For he seen every tear, smile, and sadness, however, sadness has caressed her face more than ever. He looks at the moon, praying that she can help Shadow. Shadow has built her own frozen prison to keep everyone at bay, including him. He looks at her once more and sees her struggle with the one aspect that tears at her soul for how she was treated stays with her and had never left her. Betrayal and humiliation keeps her is this frozen prison. To be treated the way she had, he often wonders of how she can be there for those she loves and be loyal too. Oftens wonders how only a few truly gets the wishes she holds in her heart. Often wonders how she could walk on when the constant battle of shame is placed upon her. Silent as he walks this earth, silent is the Shadow walking amongst these shadows of her inner hell. He turns away from the moon to gaze at her only to find her brown eyes staring back at him, he sees the violence of what was done in her eyes and her silent plea for help. A silent plea for acceptance for who is she despite what was done to her, to be loved even though she feels that there is no one. She sees the human form of her protector and pleads for the pain to end. Pleads to end the turmoil in her soul. She reaches for his hand, not sure if he will grab it or let it hang in the air, he grabs her hand and holds it tight. A relief for her. He moves beside her and pulls her into him, hoping that the comfort he is sending her calms the chaos in her soul. She moves to sit in front of him while he leans back into the tree, she leans back into him. She leans her head back and gaze into the amber of eyes of protector, still seeing the strength and love he has for her. Two aspects he has always given her even when she built the prison she holds herself in. She faces the moon knowing that she is in the security of her protector, she can finally enjoy the silver moon for its beauty. Shadow asks the moon for one wish. He watches her gaze into the moon and hears her speak of the wish. He sees Shadow truly smile and for that he is thankful. He places his hands in front of her, she links her fingers with his and leans back into him as he gathers her into his arms for its the sense of security and love she seeks. Her only wish. Her protector will gladly honor that wish now and forever more. He leans to place a kiss on her cheek and holds her as she calms the chaos in her battered soul and seeking the comfort that is needed...

Looking upon the moon, the darkness eases the self doubt away and the Shadow can be the person not many see. Some only see what they want to see, for once she wishes that they see what she cannot express. Some are too busy to even notice for she always listen to them no matter what but when it comes to her...some are around and try their best to help while others...are not truly listening. She hears the howl of a wolf. She smiles as the wolf comes to where she sits on the bank of the river. Nothing has to be said. As the wolf sits beside her, he stares at her with those amber eyes, understanding the secrets she holds in her soul. That gentle creature places his head in her lap and she strokes his head, soaking in the strength and love he gives to her. He sleeps as she gazes into the moon for her peace for the time being.

As I sit here by the river, I wonder of what is in store for me. I am a shadow for a reason, I see things I sometimes wish I hadn't know and then I see things that does me harm. Sometimes, I wonder of the gift that was placed before me, for I wonder..."Do they have the right person?" Not saying I don't accept the gift, I wonder if it was given to the right person. I often gaze into this river to see memories I placed away for a reason. Not saying all are bad or good. Just placed away for I'm trying to put back some shattered pieces of my mirror of who I am as a person A person that stays hidden away for a reason.I'm not sure of who I am as a person. Not sure of what is in stored at times for when I do try my best, it causes some chaos that takes me a bit longer to deal with. Makes me not want to gather those pieces of the mirror for I think no one would understand the whole view of me. No one would be there to help me pick up some pieces as I go. As I look up from the river, I look into the midnight sky praying for some sanity in the world I live in now. A pair of amber eyes greet my hurting soul. Security is what I need and those eyes see me for me and accept me for who I am. Those eyes give me the strength to accept my role as a shadow in my world. Wants to protect the gentle being that hides in this world for she doesn't think she is worthy of true love. She knows that she has love from her family and friends, but her mate...where may he be. Does he exist? May those eyes belong to the one she seeks? To scared to know, she retreats to her safety net, the shadows of the forest and gazeat the one who those eyes belong to. Hoping that she can step a foot out of the shadows soon, for he sits on the opposite of the banks waiting for her to come out.

There is a time where I wish I could escape and take the time to gaze into a river. A chance for me to have a moment of peace and look into what is to be and what is not to be. Gazing into that river means looking at every part of my life, the good and the ugly. Bad? Bad is nothing compare to the ugly stains in my life. Yes, I have survive some dark days but alot of times I wonder why I survive one ugly stain compared to others. Strange huh? Yet, I know why I survive and I am thankful for that gift. I wouldn't be who I am today, a spirit searching for her place in the world. Yes, I have helped many but at a cost. This river shows so many things that I wonder my sanity in this world that has completly lost it. Sometimes when a memory shows up, there are days I wish I could put my finger into it to distort it, hoping it could erase the pain. It doesn't though, for I can't erase any of it. None. I am at a point where I am retreating away to maybe gain some insight on where my spirit is and how to deal with some of the hurt. Yes, I am tired of games. Tired of the lies. Tired of fake images. Just tired of it all. I need a break to deal with what matters most. I need a break to be by myself. I want to walk away from it all. Walk and sit by this river so I can focus on my spirit and hope to hell I can deal with the gray walls that are growing taller every minute.Creating my own prison...to keep the pain at bay. The pain that has hurt more than needed. I wasn't planning on this pain but that is what I get for trusting again, for wanting to believe that love could exist for me. I know better now. Is there someone who is willing to show me the difference from what I know now? I really don't think so and that is why I have the walls created. To forget what was there and to walk away....never to come back. To gaze at this river and see the life as it was to be, walking in the shadows to observe life behind these gray walls.