This story is to a friends request of me to explain some history in regaurds to my post: War of my life.
It all starts back in the 6th grade, when I started living with a friend of mine in Puyallup. This friend became somewhat like my own family. His family introduced me to money and to a life of activity (Altho he may never see it that way). Anyway, through him I was a part of a pretty good group of people. In some ways we were hellians and in other ways we were angels. But as life happens my time there was to come to an end, and a new chapter of my life was about to open. There would be no more river parties, no more mud-bogging on the levy. The overnight drunken fires would cease. Crawling underneath the city of Puyallup would never happen again. Going to the Ocean was out of the question. and having new clothes was a crazy Idea. OH, how I was not going to like this. However, I knew that I was the ultimate cause of this action. My inability to follow the house rules.
I was to move in with my dad in Tacoma wa. 1945 S. fawcett...Right in the middle of what I call "CRACKOMA". About two weeks before 8th grade started. I told my dad that I had grown accustomed to going to school in Puyallup and I wanted to stay in that school district. He was open minded about that, but he was never really became involved. So I was out on the streets in downtown tacoma at 4:30 am and was in Puyallup by 6:10am. This was done to keep my friends out of his aptartment. At that time all that I did was go to school and go home. Hell, I kept it up for all of first quarter. I even had good grades. I would get my homework done, play a game of Wing Commander, and babysit for the neighbor lady. (she was 24). However, as life happens I didn't always have money for the bus. This forced me to try on the streets in a sort of new way. First I had to stay away from the Police, then I had to keep under the School radar. I found interesting ways to eat, and even more interesting ways to keep clean. It used to piss me off when I herd my classmates speak of their bad hair days. "Oh my god, I'm so tired". WHAT? I been awake for 32 hours and your complaining about this morning? However, inspite of my unsightly looks there was a young lady that I had gone to elementry school with. She was not that close a friend to me (should have been though). She would pack an extra lunch to bring to school to give to me. she may never know that some times that lunch was all that I would have to eat for that day. (I am so thankfull for knowing you). During that time I was on probation, so I used my grandmothers in puyallup as my call in home. I also joined Aylen Jr. Highs wrestling team...That was a cover to get me some time before having to call in. Well that did not last long. I was administrativly removed from that program (a teacher saw me kick the ceiling of the 9th grade hallway). I was having fun.
I ended up having some trouble with school authorities in regards to my living situation, I never really told them of the change of address. I attempted to be a normal student. However, things were happening for me on the streets that were exciting. I was losing intrest in my accademics and gaining some intrest in Pot and Partying.
OK , so to stay on topic...I used to catch the bus in the morning...and I would have no place to go (at least until school started ). I would go over to different people's houses and sort of hang out there, until the time to go to school. however doing this can where out your welcome mat pretty fast so this was not an every day thing. At least until a rainy day would have it. It was pooring down rain comming down in buckets. I had been to my first friends house and know one was there. So I thought about saying hello to a young lady that I had known from my elementry school. As fate would have it, she lived about 3 blocks down. So I approached the house and went to knock on the door and she answered, I asked her if she wanted some company and she said that her family was going to a nightime service at her church. I was invited to go along.
I remember feeling out of place when I walked into the little church. I have always read the bible and studied the word. however most churches piss me off (still don't know why). I dont really remember what the service was on but afterwerds the family drove me home to Tacoma.
So after weeks of stopping by in the morning and chatting with her mom over coffee and walking her to her boy friend's before school. I would end up staying with the family after a blow out with my dad ( For the entire summer of 97). I remember that the family had to go out of state, they gave me some emergancy numbers and bought me some food and told me no parties.With the exception of the pastors family, I did allow a few friends to come in the back but we didn't have any parties. See I was trusted and I was taught not to break a trust if you have one.
After the family got home I could by now tell that I was really beginning to love (strong word) my classmate. I would have another relationship with another young lady though now I wonder if shes still alive? Anyway, My classmate and I started out being friends and then sort of found ourselves together when we were alone. (think about it). So in all shortly after the semester of 9 th grade we found ourselves in love? I can't remember all of the details but she and I were together by the end of 9th grade as she was the most gorgeous girl at our ninth grade dance. (I'll never forget it). Thank you for the extra dance Bri. I remember that we worked hard together to send her parents to a famouse restraunt down on Ruston way. (they were pleased). However, I was in some trouble with the law and was looking at spending the rest of my summer at Raymond Hall. 6th ave. My classmate asked her parents to pay my ticket. I was forever indebted when they did.
So, I was earning a new life with this seemingly beautiful young lady, when the news came down the pipe line, She had taken intrest in my friend just up the street. At first I suspected that they were just friends. My friend would not go there? He would challange my love for her and my respect for him? Well she would sneak out of her window to go and be with him...since her room was a place that I couldn't go. I had to find out through the grape vine. SHE was playing us both. this went on until...July 4th, '98. She had run away from home, and my friend told me that If he found her he would call me. I sat up all night and talked to her mother about what I thought was going on. Her father had had enough of the dishonesty and such...not that I was any angel. but I set it in my mind to find her. Young girls sometimes don't come home alive. So late in the afternoon I'd asked to borrow their car (they put me through drivers ed ending in april ). As I was going to the car, I saw my friend drive by. I knew he'd been in contact with her. So I waited a little while then went to his house.
LOW AND BEHOLD!
As I pulled up to the house and peeked into the car...who do I see? (boy was I mad). I grabbed her from the friends car and put her in the parents car. and drove off . (like a bat out of hell). She was so stunned that she didn't know what to say other than she didn't want to go home. We were both yelling at each other when SHE began slapping and scratching me....in the face, while driving on River Road. She opened the door and said that she was going to jump out of the the car ... SO...Yes, I slapped her and I slapped her hard. (needless to say she closed the door). Would I do differently again? HELL NO! At least I understood that I would have gone to prison if anything really happened to her.
We ended up at the bottom of Waller Road just down from Peasly Canyon. I just wanted to explain my side of things to her. We sat there for a very long time just talking and crying then we started laughing! Things were getting somewhat better, Thats when It mostly happened. I was so afraid I was hard for words I asked her to pick me over the friend, I explained that the friend may have liked her However I loved her. She was not too definate about her answer, rather the embrace was all that I needed. I was in love.
We still had to face the music, We had to go home. What was going happen would change my life forever. I don't remember a lot being said when we got home, I remember that she was still emotional after she had talked to her father. She decided to come out and visit me out in the back (I lived in a small shop turned into a room). As it got later into the night we became intimate with each other. There we were under the light of a partial moon, falling deeply into a darkness that we hadn't the experience to understand.
SUMMER OF WORRY.
As the summer progressed I had my apprehensions about this child that we were about to have. I knew that my life would completely change. (had no idea that it would turn into the way i'm living today). The day that my classmate was told I was helping her dad rebuild the front end on their mini van. I remember that they (mother and daughter) had left for the appointment. She was driving when they left. However when they returned she was not driving. As a matter of fact she only had to look at me and I knew. I became so weak that I could not even pick up a tire to put it on the van. I was turned into rubber, even my toung was not cooperating. She was so frightned, I cant really say that I was any help I had a boulder in my stomache. Thats when we herd it. WHAT!?.......CRASH ! SLAM ! The sound of a father who wanted the best for his daughter. At this point we were outside waiting for him to address us. I remember that at some point in those quick few moments I ended up in the back yard in a chair. So here it came. He entered the back yard and gave her a hug. He said; " You have alot of decisions to make young lady''. He also said that he would not live with murders! (Inciting his belief ..ion). Then he motioned for me to give him a hug. ( I really wanted this hug). It was the embrace of a life time.
I was to spend the rest of the summer getting a job and preparing for my sophmore year of highschool. That year I was to go alone. My classmate was not going to attend (due to the pregnancy). As I told my friends about my sitaution one by one they started fading away. I took a job working At the Puyallup Fair and at a local resturaunt. I was sort of the topic of conversation. "what is he going to do"?,"can you see him with a baby"? I heard all kinds of things. However I stuck it out until I got into trouble with the school for working to many hours. I remember that the school year was dragging by. I would go and see a friend of mine during lunch hour ( to have a smoke) and chat about the day. In those days things at home were stressful. ( I miss you R.I.P).
I was gifted the oppertunity to get to do some out door stuff with her father (hunting/fishing, working on cars, going to his work ect. ). This brought me closer to her father. I actually really looked up to him, However I didn't always understand him, I have to admitt I asked him one time ''when do I become a man''? He said; ''When I tell you ''! That brought everybody to their knees. However, Its always stuck with me.
In the months prior to the birth of my daughter, I can only remember certain things about that time line. I remember I was in my sophomore year at PHS. (10th). I had conversations with other students about my situation. I remember that there were other's that missed my class mate. (from Jr. high). If memory serves me right my class mate went to a dance with me at the high school, She was pretty "prego". However she got a lot of compliments for her attire. It seems to me that night ended up very well. I had an other group of friends …not ones from school (as paid for by the public). These friends were the street riffraff I was used to hanging out with. One of whom I really enjoyed "Christ" He was so smart and always had something going. We would spend alot of time together "just chilling". I remember when my classmate had thought she was pregnant …This friend said, "Hey we could slash your face up and move you to Canada" yes it was a joke. However He most likely knows my daughter better that I do. He stayed with the family for some time after I had left.(may have been a good thing). I haven't seen him in years I hope all is well.
It was April of 99, when my daughter was born. I can remember a certain P.H.S. staff member who seemed to really want to help me. I cant remember much of the summer between 10th grade and 11th grade 99-2000. I seem to recall working and in the fall even more trouble with school., Friends dying, suicides, murders, school rivelry, federal marshals, news agents, However, At one point myself and another class member were invited to go the the Tacoma News Tribune to participate in some race related discussions. I was inerviewed by the TNT several times. (As I was into my country roots) I was also in Debate CX. I remember that it took up alot of time. Somewhere in all of that I was an assistant Commander for the Royal Rangers Program at the church of the family I was living with. (Yes I was getting lots of help at home.)
Somewhere in my Jr. year 11th I noticed changes at the home front. I was not allowed to use the car moreover i was told to get another job. At this
My classmate and i were told that we could not be alone in the same room togeather. And then somewhere in the midst of all this we were told to think about adopting our daughter to the grandparents. In this argument i said no!
I stuck to my guns on this issue. It goes without saying that this approach left me more than furiouse. I was quite sure that i needed to get us out of her parents Home. The control factor was more and more an issue at hand. It got to the point that the family started not allowing me to be alone with my daughter.
This was decided because I was spending more time with my mother. It was no secret that hey did not like her very much. Since she had a differed opinion on the matter. (not going there here). They told me that I could not bring her grandchild to see her. That caused a few more fights.
However, roughly April of my Jr. year I got a grave yard security job. I worked from 6 pm to 6 am. It was in federal way, my mother in auburn , shcool and home in Puyallup. Needless to say i did alot of driving. I was so tired some days i could not even see straight. Inturn I was spending a few nights a week at my moms because it was closer to work than Puyallup was. However when i was gone at work learning the droves of private security. I found that she was running around a bit. Her father bought her an 89 mazda 626. (i was not allowed to touch it)? Hmmm. by that time she had taken a job at Target. I knew we were on the rocks. I was spending my time b/w work and sleep and driving.
I went to vist my daughter and was told by the grandparents that i could not see my daughter, as their daughter was not home and my child was sleeping. Here it was like 3pm in the afternoon. hmmmm. Well I told them that they could not keep her from me and i went in and visited with my daughter maybe a half an hour. Then went to Target to see my girl frind. We chatted and pretty much broke up. So after work the next morning, i went to the house to get some things Oh boy! then next thing I knew I was in a fight with her dad! He started yelling at me and pushing me saying i was harrassing, stalking ,beating up my girlfriend and hitting my child. Later in court it was said i tried to induce abortions and so on. Of coarse the Police arrived they simply asked me to leave. A few days later federal way PD. had brought me a Temporary protection Order. When I went to Court the Judge had the paper work already filled out. He was dead set in granting the order. Looking back I do not believe that I could have said anything to the court to stop that order. She was granted costody. I was to stay away. She was told by the court to start a paternity action. (that took over a year for her to complete). So with out that paterninty action in a sense i had no child? Support enforcement did nothing to help. The Pierce county Prosecuters did nothing to punish her for non compliance. I had no legal leg to stand on.
more to come
