Thanks everyone . . . I appreciate the opinions you have given honestly but I am just writing to clear my mind. I do I it all the time, it helps. I don’t feel as bad after I get some of the stupid shit out of my head that just seems to lie there. The majority of the time it makes no sense to anyone but me, but I’m the one it matters to after all. I thank you for taking the time to read what I have said though, and even more for sending me all the e-mails with suggestions.
The fact of the matter is I am lost in my own mind right now and am not sure I want to find my way out. I am content where I am, confused as hell, but content. I’m not happy as we all know . . . I gave up on my happily ever after years ago remember?! I gave up on finding someone who completes or at the very least compliments who I am. I decided long long ago that I was meant to be alone and honestly have no idea why I ever bothered in this past year to think otherwise. I dated a few people; had sex with a few people; trusted a few I shouldn’t have, had some things happen I wish hadn’t have . . . But I know better now.
I know better than to desire . . . We all do, but yet we do it anyway. I know it’s only human nature to do so, but dammit why can’t we change that? Why? Because we are fucking human that is why. I hate it, you hate it, we all hate it at some point or other but it’s who and what we are. Anyway, thank you all, I feel better than I did, just not “better”
