These are just my thought tonight. I know not where this path I find myself on will lead me,nor do I know if I'll walk it alone or with another. All I know is I find my thoughts on everyone but me. Which is nothing new,my world is touched by many from many paths. So to some I'm just a plaything,to others I'm just me. To some I'm a two face child,to others I'm a peek into their souls. To some I'm not even real,to others I'm the most real thing they have in their life. To some I play their follower to others I play leader. But tonight I sit here and wonder does any of them even really know me or even want to know me. I've taking some mighty blows from ones i thought as friends and family,yet I took these blows with out a word to them or anyone. I can't but help think that the ones I thought as being my closest,dearest friends really weren't. Because If they knew me they would have never sent the blows to me. Also they would have knew that I'm a lot more stronger and not so much a child as they thought. I see things that they don't want me to , I understand things they don't want me to. I can't help that,that's who I am and always have been. I'm sick of being the one that trust everyone openly and getting none of that trust back in return. I'm sick Of everyone thinking they know more about me then me. I'm sick of always being told oh , your not as mature as this one or that one,your being more childish then what you should be. I'm sick of everyone second guessing and putting their own thoughts into what I saw. Just why can't they just take it as it is,my words my thought,nothing hidden. Why do they even think that I'm not me, all the time they have known me I've never tried to be someone I wasn't. When I was flirty ,that was me. When I was geeky that was me. When I was shy that was me,when I was outgoing that was me. When I was sad that was me,when I was mad that was me. I wasn't they things to fit in or to get some feedback from them ,I was these because that's just me. I hate the fact that, people who I thought knew me really didn't because if they did they would have never treat me the way they did. No, this isn't some way to make people feel guilty or mad or any of that shit. This is just my thoughts that I've had for a few weeks. I'm just done with people thinking they know me better then me. I know this blog will be taken the wrong way,because some people believe they know me more then I know myself. For the one who have treated me that way I thank you very much,for those who have ,think what ever you want ,I'm done giving a damn about who you see me, this is me like or not is up to you. I'm done trying to please everyone,take me as I am or don't.
