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StayCee MehRee's blog: "Hate"

created on 11/18/2007  |  http://fubar.com/hate/b156466
Before you take the time to read this let me tell you...if you have a weak heart and a shallow mind then you probably better exit now. Just giving you fair warning because I can get pretty deep into my blogs. Recently I took 1 month off from work to take time for myself. In this month I expeirenced feelings for other people that I never have felt before in my life. Before I moved down to Marionville I lived in Carrollton Missouri. I was living with my parents and I had the internet there. I started chatting with a guy on the internet about 6 years ago when I was living there and we became very good friends. Over the years we lost touch and moved on. Recently I got my Internet back when I moved down here to be with Eric. I got back in touch with this friend whom I wont mention names to protect these people, and we caught up on old times. He told me he was with a girl and had been with her for 5 years now, which I was happy for him. After chatting for a few weeks he and his girlfriend invited me up to stay with them for a weekend. Of course I said yes and decided to take off for the weekend to stay with them. After a 9 hour drive, getting lost 3 times, getting to there house, and getting to know them I kinda wish now that I never knew them, you would think after 6yrs of knowing someone and talking to them again that they wouldn't change......haha was I wrong. They were totally different people then what I talked to on the on the net it's funny how someone can say something on here and expect you to believe everything they say...well I am one of those kinds of people. I will believe whatever you tell me I am very gullible. I always have been and always will be. I guess thats why its easy for me to make friends because I trust anyone. Well for the least to say and to get to a point in this blog-I don't talk to my friends anymore after meeting them and staying with them for 3 days they can't even get the nerve up to say sorry or respond to the messages of me asking them why they wont talk to me. So to them a big F U! Well I have decided that they really didn't like me the way they said they did and thats alright-let them HATE ME! So overall that one month I took off I decided that people aren't always what they seem and they can be cruel and unkind. So many things happened over that period of one month..at times I was so low in life that i threatened to kill myself but somehow my friends from yahoo pulled me out and seemed to make it all ok again..thanks guys! But I will tell you this-one day I actually did attempt it and you can see the scars on my arm on one of my pictures I have posted here. If you look close on my right arm you will see the word LOVE. I was at a point in my life were I didn't think it existed. I still to this day belive it doesn't exist and never will. The only love I have is for my friends on here and yahoo. You all again are the best and the most supportive of me and my decisions. For those of you that are reading this and know me personally on a higher level or possibly on a lower level..you all know what you mean to me and that's all that matters. *To a special friend that I met on FUBAR-You're the best and thanks for making me laugh so hard the other night! Can't wait to have another session with you. To the rest of you well if I don't chat with you often or talk to you often it's not cuz I don't like you its because I am usually busy with other things on here or can't really chat right then in there. Don't take no offense to it becuase I like you all the same. I mean hell why else would you be my friends. Ok well I have rattled on long enough and probably bored the hell out of everyone that actually takes the time to read this. Have a great night and hope you did enjoy it. If so leave me a comment or a rating please. <3 Always Stacie!
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