I, every so often, reflect back to a scene from The Pursuit of Happyness where the kid, Christopher, played by Jaden Smith, tells his father, Chris Gardner, played by Will Smith a story of a man floating out at sea. A boat comes by and asks the man if he needs help and the man replies “No, my God will save me. “ Later, another boat comes by and asks if the man needed help, again the man replied “No thank you, My God will save me.” Later on another boat comes by and once again asks the man if he needs help. “The man politely replies “No, my God will save me.” A short time later the man drowns and dies. When he goes to heaven he asks God “Lord, why did you let me drown?” God replies “I sent you 3 boats you dummy”
Many years ago I made a very poor decision to jump into that ocean and swim away from a very important person in my life. Irresponsibility, immaturity, selfishness, and stupidity. These are just a few of the waves that were crashing over my head and clouding my judgment. This cloudiness caused me to drown and never even realize it. I was told I was alive, given what I needed to believe I was alive, but never allowed to live. I was so engulfed in the darkness of the lies, deceit, and manipulation that I never gave the second chance that was brought before me a look. Remorse, regret, selfishness, stupidity, lies, and manipulation. These were the six walls that surrounded me and kept me in the dark far under the ocean.
A very special person, who also happens to be my life boat, has been teaching me of how the universe gives back what it is given. I am not sure what it was that I gave to receive a third chance to be truly happy but I am not going to question it because my third chance has come as a hurricane to break down every wall that has surrounded me, brought light to my darkened world, and has consistently kept me out of the box. Thankfully I have realized there is a reason that I keep getting this chance and have embraced it fully and open-hearted and fall deeper and deeper in love with my kttn every second that I am with her.