Dharqe Norse Hellspawn's blog: "My Stuff"

So as some of you know, i had a heart attack a few weeks back....it hurt like a motherfucker lol, giant waves of pain and i felt like i was gonna get sick, it sucked lol. So once i was admitted to the hospital and had a room, i was laying in my bed thinking, and the thought hit me...i could die. I hadn't yet found out how bad it was, so my brain was racing and a wave of calm hit me...i didn't care lol, or maybe its that i was okay with it....not worried, not scared, totally at peace and fine with it. Then i started wondering, why i was i okay with it, and the only conclusion i came up with, is that there are alot of people waiting for me on the other side and i cant wait for the reunion. My dad, mom, sister, a wife, a ton of friends and even a bunch of pets...and Eddie Van Fucking Halen lol! I know im gonna see them again, so me and death? We good lol. So in the meantime, im gonna love the ones that love me, enjoy my time and have the most fun i can have, and when its time to go, im cool with it...and for all of you, ill see ya when you get there and ill have a huge drinking horn full of mead waiting for ya. :)

I remember it so clearly...it was a sunday morning and i remember waking up that morning and walkng out into the living room of my home. My dad had just gotten home from being out all night, as had my sister. She had been waiting for me to wake up to play me something...i clearly remember her smiling and saying, "you gotta hear this"....she pulled out this album she had bought a day before, and she put it on and this bass comes on the stereo: "Boom, boom, boom, boom" and then the band kicks in...i had never heard a Guitar sound like that before, she handed me the album sleeve...Van Halen, "Running with the Devil." Holy shit this rocks! Then Eruption came on, and my jaw hit the floor....what the fuck am i listening too? Ive never heard a guitar played like this...holy shit. Eddie changed everything...his guitar sound and playing CHANGED Rock music forever, and i was there at the beginning. Now, sadly, Eddie joins both my sister and father in Valhalla, and all 3 have passed from this horror we call cancer. Its also sad to realize, that this is the end of Van Halen, the band...because without Eddie, their is no band. But we will always have the music and i will never forget that day, and im damn jealous that my sis is hanging out with Eddie right now, drinking a beer and watching him play....Ill join you when my time comes. I miss you Sis ...i miss you Dad...and i miss you Eddie. 

9/11/01....9/11/06....9/29/19. The Country...A Love...My Sister. My Sister has been gone almost a year, and it really flew by. I still find myself forgetting from time to time that shes gone, waiting for her to call me...then i remember. Her oldest son's birthday is in September and i can only imagine what its like for him. All i know, is i hate this month...i really do. 

There are times late at night, that i remember....My Dad,,,,hours and hours talking about work, sports, women lol...him telling me that some chick had smiled at me and i should go talk to her lol. How good were the Rams, Dodgers & Lakers going to be that year. Him always being there for me, no matter what. Its summer vacation, and my mom tells me that if I'm going to stay in the house, I'm going to help her clean...you never saw a kid run out a door so quick lol. Saturday morning pancakes and cartoons.... Her tucking me into bed at night, with an i love you and a kiss on the forehead. My damn sister always throwing my comic books in my bedroom. Getting me stoned for the first time and getting me hooked on everything from Led Zeppelin to Aerosmith to Van Halen and tons more....the 70's lol.. And always having my back. And a wife that i held lying in bed every night....that loved me for who i am and just talking for hours and hours. I think i miss that more than anything, when it comes to her...just being in love and talking about whatever...sigh. I love you all and i miss you all dearly. Until we meet again...i remember ♥