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BITCHOLOGY

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch. Being a bitch in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch. The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be. I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that! So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch , so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it. B - Babe I - In T - Total C - Control of H - Herself B = Beautiful I = Intelligent T = Talented C = Charming H = Hell of a Woman B = Beautiful I = Individual T = That C = Can H = Handle anything "If you can't do something right, get a woman to do it." Disclaimer: (I found this while surfing the web and unfortunately cannot give proper credit as it was posted anonymously)
okie so @ wendy's the other day......the one in town.......well im sure u know the drive thru order box thingy is crappy......well i place my order for their new frescata club sandwich.....well u can get a bottle of water and baked chips, so thats what i ordered........well the guy said "problem with the chips" and with it coming over the crappy order box i thought he said " i have a problem with the shits"........disgustedly i responded with "excuses me, what did u just say to me" and he repeated problem with the chips......i then replied "oh, sorry i thought u said u had a problem with the shits"...............laughter from all parties.... then last night i go to 7-11 in abingdon.....i get a coke slurpee......anyone who knows me, knows im addicted......well anyways i walk up to the counter to pay and the guy is like is that all??? im like yeah and then he says imma need to see some ID.......dumbfoundedly, im like are u kidding me????? pick up line gone haywire???? i think so......maybe i would had handed over my license IF I WAS BLONDE........ anyways just thought id share

just another day....

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 ok, so here is what i have come up with LIFE = good and bad you must take the good with the bad, however this is not fun...... for most people its equally balanced.....something good or bad happens, then is quickly followed by the opposite...... then there are those lucky sons of bitches that you just wanna smack.....reason being....they seem to have the best luck then there are those poor bastards who have nothing but bad luck..... then you got ME......life hands me a lemon....i try to make lemonade, and as it seems im out of sugar....... this is how it started girl meets boy.....girl likes boy......girl thinks boy likes her too......girl is wrong......boy likes girl, but only for sex.......girl is sad......girl starts to look in the sea for new boy....... girl goes to meeting for work......girl leaves meeting to get nail fix by "THE MAN".......bug attacks girl while driving........girl hits curb......curb pops tire......girl gets outa car.....girl screams "WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG"............girl calls dad to help......dad gets "lost", cant find girl.......girl changes tire by herself......people drive by and watch girl......noone helps girl.....girl is now dirty, and cant get nail fixed..... so now girl has to fork over more money she doesnt have to fix tire and brakes(they sound bad) life likes to tease me.......it tricks me into to thinking that luck is changing for the better, then it goes "HAHA U FUCKING LOSER, HAVE FUN WITH THIS LEMON"

MONKEY BUISNESS

Monday, June 12, 2006 So.... Saturday Joanne and i took my god son hunter and her daughter catelynn to the zoo, in Baltimore.....i do have to say the zoo sucks now....i remember having much more fun when i was a child. the zoo has very few exhibits now, which saddens me. well we arrive at the zoo and all of the parking lots were full, so we had to drive down to this baseball field, which wasn't to far away. so we walk up to the zoo, and we got in free, cuz, god bless Joanne, she is a member. it was lunch time for us, so we stopped at the picnic tables and ate lunch. after that it was time for the zoo animals. off we were.....and what do u know, it was nap time for the damn animals. so we went from exhibit to exhibit in search of an animal awake....well we found the chimp house.....the baby monkey was so adorable, i wanted to take him home with me....but as we all know that is not allowed......next was the lemurs (think Madagascar.....they were the animals dancing and singing "i like to move it"). then we reached the crocs.....and it was feedin time......we watched the zoo keeper feed the 2 crocs, captain crook and tick tock, mice......wasn't as exciting as i thought it would be.....after we left the hot and stinky chimp house, it was time for the monkeys outside.....this was an experience....the smallest of the 4 monkeys was curled up in the water bucket snoozing....another monkey whom was sitting spread eagle (his stuff was hanging all out and about, picture will be included below) was pinching his arm and biting and licking it. and what i thought was one monkey in the tree turned out to be 2. i asked Joanne what were those monkeys doing, just to make sure i was right, her 8yr daughter catelynn replied b4 her mother and said they are mating.....well if catelynn only knew how close she was.....actually they were GIVING HEAD......i know craziness......i thought you only saw this stuff on the discovery channel.....who knew u could see this in the local zoo......i would have to say that if i would had paid the $15 to get in the zoo, it would had been well worth it......i don't remember much of the rest of the zoo, due to the fact i couldn't believe what i had just seen.......BTW....i wasn't able to get a pic of this....SORRY ticket into zoo.......$15.00 dip n dots.............$3.50 souvenirs..............$25.16 seeing two monkeys getting it on..............PRICELESS
Photobucket

dead-beat MOTHERS......

ok, we always hear about dead-beat DADS......I'm sure you (the reader) may know at-least one dead -beat DAD. I know 3, but today we are going to cover dead-beat MOTHERS.....shocking, but they are out there......and this one thinks she is a GREAT mother.....HAHA....sorry but NO. This dead-beat MOTHER is who you ask??? Well I've decided to keep that part private, but don't worry she should figure out I'm talking about her. This dead-beat in question met an ASSHOLE....they had a child....ASSHOLE wants no parts of the dead-beat. Well their child was premature by 3 months, you would think they would be there to help her daughter fight for her LIFE.....this was an early indication that THEY would suck as parents.....(just remember the DEAD-BEAT is the mother, ASSHOLE is the father......even thou BOTH are really dead-beats) Well DEAD-BEAT thought going to the ASSHOLE'S softball games were more important, then being at the HOSPITAL. Why did GOD allow this person a child?? This child did nothing wrong to DESERVE a mother like the one SHE received. Some time has passed, a little over a month, and this DEAD-BEAT has her premature baby out in the HEAT, driving around looking for ASSHOLE. This DEAD-BEAT had a friend with her, while stalking....if this GOOD SAMARITAN friend wasn't there, this child would have starved and sat in her DIRTY diapers for hours. WHY have a child if all your going to do is PAWN it off on other people. BTW, this GOOD SAMARITAN only stayed around, because she was fearful of the child's WELL being. DEAD-BEAT was actually seen sitting IN someone else's AIR CONDITIONED car, while her PREMATURE child was sitting in the DEAD-BEATS car with the windows UP and the car turned OFF.....now recently this DEAD-BEAT turns off the baby monitor so she doesn't hear the baby scream in the morning so she can SLEEP IN, and so she can NAP in the afternoon. Doesn't she know that you give up napping rights when you have a child? You nap when you get a chance, you DON'T make time for a nap....YOU ARE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD....OK one time that the monitor was OFF, the now 14mo. old and crapped her pants, she cried....NOONE meaning dead-beat came to help her, so know shes screaming....still no help....she ripped off her diaper and smeared the POOP, all over the crib, herself, and in her mouth. THIS dead-beat was to tired to help her daughter. Can you believe this??? because I cant.....who lets their child eat poop??? Now has gross as that is, it gets WORSE. Most people know how long it takes for formula and milk to spoil, for those who don't: FORMULA spoils after 2hours of being mixed, MILK spoils after an hour of being out. Why is this important u ask? this is why...DEAD-BEAT leaves whatever her child doesn't finish from her bottle at NIGHT, whether it is formula or milk, in the crib and the child drinks the rest of it in the MORNING. HOW DOES SHE HAVE A CHILD??? THAT I WILL NEVER KNOW THE ANSWER TO. To those of you who have witnessed some of this, I am ASHAMED of you, YOU are just as GUILTY since you have NOT reported her to CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES. What is more IMPORTANT to you, a friendship, or the WELFARE OF AN INNOCENT CHILD. This makes YOU a DEAD-BEAT also......
Black Friday is supposed to be a day of fighting off strangers for the items you would like to purchase. My Black Friday was a little bit different then that. It started out as a normal work day. I went to work, I left early, around 1. Went to the bank to cash my check for my weekend of shopping, then home to clean my room and get ready to go to the movies with JoAnne and her family. The movie was great and very funny. Movie ended and I hopped into JoAnne's car, and we headed to the mall for some super shopping at the Harford Mall. We left Regal and made the left onto Tollgate RD., the light at Tollgate and 24 was backed up. We took Tollgate up to Wheel RD, where we proceeded to make a left onto 24. If you are familiar with this intersection, you would know there is no turn light if you are traveling on Wheel RD., so making a left is almost impossible. We were in the middle of the intersection and the man who was making a left on the other side of Wheel RD. towards Edgewood flashed his lights and told us it was safe for us to proceed with our turn. Just as we made the turn a woman driving a gold Ford Explorer who was traveling on Wheel RD. going straight, SLAMMED right into the front right side of JoAnne's car. Air bags deployed, horn was blaring, kids crying, JoAnne screaming GET OUT OF THE CAR, was all i could hear. I've always heard people say that you see your life flash before your eyes, and I never believed it, well I AM A BELIEVER NOW. The entire accident was in slow motion. Thank GOD for seat belts and my life. I had most of the injury's due to the point of impact, but I walked away with some bumps and bruises. JoAnne has some bumps and bruises also, the kids didn't have one scratch on them, and the people in the other car were scratch less also. We were lucky it wasn't worse, hopefully they will install a turn signal at the intersection now. For pics of the accident http://www.flickr.com/photos/36513531@N00/ p.s. this was nov. 28, 2006
So I'm at my one boss's house last night uploading music to her mp3 player and uploading pics to myspace for her.....and she starts to tell me this story about my other boss. the story starts out like this.....did u hear char's workout story? and i say no i haven't, what happened???? well my boss says try to contain urself so i can tell you......well that was the magic words......the laughter began....she's like why are you laughing i haven't told you yet....i replied with u said to contain myself, which means its gonna be good......shes like ok listen.....char comes to work after going to the gym....and she tells me this story.....i was on the treadmill....i was hustling trying to get the last 15 mins of cardio in....I'm just a movin along.....and i dropped my ipod.....i let go of the treadmill bars....(I'm hysterical at this point in the story, cuz I'm already picturing the next events) ....i reached down to get my ipod and the treadmill is still going....my feet go one way and the rest of my body goes the other.... (I'm laughing so hard i cant breathe now) ....my arms are flailing above my head trying to get ahold of the treadmill bars to pull myself up....i finally get up and i say to the guy next to me "did u see that".....he says yes....are you ok? she says yes and he says good and busts out laughing...... (i have tears in my eyes now, from laughing) i suppose the whole scene went something like this
treadmill i woulda paid big bucks to see this happen......
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