unstablelady's blog: "My silly sense of humour........"

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me. 2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday. 3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover. 4. Bar food again! Kick ass. 5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class. 6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her. 7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore. 8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em? 9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers. 10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass. 11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends. 12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again. 13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer. 14. You are so much smarter than my father. 15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football. 16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink? 17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. 18. You're so sexy when you're hung over. 19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping. 20. Let's subscribe to Hustler. 21. I'll be out painting the house. 22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride. 23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see! 24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed. 25. Your mother is way better than mine. 26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something. 27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire. 28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings. 29. Look! My ass is fatter than yours! 30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

A Little Gem Of A Letter........... The following letter was forwarded by someone who teaches at a small high school in central Ontario. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. Dear School, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I'm 94 years old and live at the local Home for the Aged. My family has long since passed away and I rarely have visitors. As a result, I have very limited contact with the outside world. This makes your gift especially welcome. My roommate, Maggie Cook, has had her own radio for as long as I've known her. She listens to it all the time, though usually with an earplug or with the volume so low, I can't hear it. For some reason, she has never wanted to share it. Last Sunday morning, while listening to her morning gospel programs, she accidentally knocked her radio off its shelf. It smashed into many pieces, and caused her to cry. It was so sad. Fortunately, I had my new radio. Knowing this, Maggie asked if she could listen to mine. I told her to fuck off. God bless you. Sincerely, Edna Johnson