Slacker's blog: "My Shitty Poetry"

What do you think when there is nothing for you pain and sorrow are the only things coming through time goes by and you want to break down and cry no one is there to make you want to try each day you wish to be your last you just can not forget the past you tried to reach for the stars now you can only touch your scars the tragedy of your life removed by the tip of a knife would you be better off dead maybe its all in your head how can you live without a heart it was ripped and torn apart you have nothing left to give where is your will to live you thought you had met the one you thought you had finally won you took everything and more but nothing to live for so you walk away and leave everything you leave without even saying goodbye

this is not a poem for the weak hearted this is a poem for the recently departed your life was ran by twisted emotions to live without any devotions that is not living at all how did it feel to always fall surrounding yourself with corruption and greed you could never understand how it feels to need to you everything is good and well to your lover it is a living hell deceiptful games are all you can play not ever listening to what they had to say trying to pull you out of your egotistic hole yet your heart was as black as coal expecting everyone to let you into their mind yet when it came too you it was like being blind letting someone in is not a deadly sin

i never felt this type of pain remembering how we use to dance in the rain we walked all through town holding hands trying to sing along to all our favoite bands at those moments life was simply bliss everytime we shared that special kiss every day was worth that long walk just so we can sit on your porch and talk then there was that fearful night you called and i rode to be your shining knight riding as fast as i possibly could ducking and dodging all through the wood praying to god that you were okay thinking when i arrived theyr'd be blood to pay showing up and realizing there was no trouble slowly my blood cooled to a slight bubble that night i realized that love was real an emotion i had forsaken i started to feel all i could think was that it was the best finally someone to take the knife from my chest that blade you took from my heart is the same i used to rip my skin apart i thank you from the depths of my soul i thank you for filling in that hole without you i would have fell straight down into the firey pits of hell if i could i would hold you tight i would hold you all through the day and all through the night but that has all come and past i ran that race and came in last yet i do not shed a tear although im always running from fear i look at the moon and its as if you are here

hate and pain death and sorrow these are the things that make me hollow destruction and shame plague and turmoil these are the things that make me disloyal distrust and dishonor scared and burned these are the things that i have learned deceit and defeat catastrophy and disaster these are things i wish to master punishment and suffering chaos and trouble these are the things i wish to double despair and panic screams of fear these are the things i love to hear

There I stand on my own But you will not here me bitch and moan I have accepted this life of lonliness In exchange for my happiness Though I regret my choices I must abide by these voices All I can do is sit and wait Hoping, praying I won't be late They can not tear my spirit apart Because it is you that has my heart There inside your gentle grasp The thought of you and I is what I clasp Hold on tight to my hope and desire Without you its like I'm on fire One day soon I will return Your gentle touch will ease this burn It will all be over then This pain I feel will not win We will share our special kiss When I'm done with all of this Nothing else will be in our way In Jersey with you I will stay I promise you need not fear With me you shall not shed a tear You have my heart I'll give you my soul Just help me out of this fucking hole I'm tired of being hurt I'm tired of being used Am I living on false wishes Would you toss me like dirty dishes I know you couldn't I know you wouldn't But I thought that before Right before my heart was tore Yet you have my trust Not because of my lust Because when you are near I have no fear Everytime I look into your eyes I hate to remember saying our goodbyes I come and go all too fast Not allowing a chance with you to last When this is all over My life will be a little slower Time is all I'll have for you I just hope that it will do I want to make you happy and never sad i want to make you cheerful and never mad I want to be yours for always and ever I hope you like my poem and think its clever

Everytime I think about you Living this contract just won't do Forgiveness for leaving is all I ask Although the time and distance will be a task Future unknowing, obscured by mist Never forgetting everytime we've kissed In my mind I play this game Chance with you is my only aim Everything about you makes me quake Every dream of you I never wish to wake Something about you I desire so much Just to feel your warming touch Choosing to leave you was my biggest mistake All my relationships after were just a fake Holding you near me makes me serene Marines are only suppose to be angry and mean If only you could be with me here Even if it were for only two years Promise to you you'll never shed any tears Soon we won't be so distant Soon it'll be done in an instant Kisses from you make my eyes shine Call me yours and I'll call you mine

Here I sit without a plan in mind Never thought it would be you I'd find It took me so very long Just to realize the others were all wrong Now I am so far away Trying to figure out just what to say You love me and I love you Now I don't know what to do I want you now standing by me But how the hell could that be How would this work from such a distance I'll come home and be gone in an instant But two years would go by so very fast I promise to come home and make up for the past

Everytime we met A kiss I'll never forget I want us to be more But my heart was already tore You took my heart piece by piece This feeling inside I can not cease I was yours from the very first look My heart and soul is what you took Knowing this feeling in my heart Just trying to keep myself from falling apart Everytime I catch your gaze You naver cease to amaze I'm so scared of hurting you That I just couldn't do A chance I didn't want to take Your heart I didn't want to break I've known you for so very long Is what I'm feeling really wrong Days, weeks, months, years Soon I'll be without any fears Emotions I felt never forsaken With you I'm still taken Now its time to let it show Now its time to let you know If I had you in my life I would never have any strife If I had you with me here I would have no reason to fear Being away is what I hate I pray to god that you are my fate Because you are my angel

When I saw you standing there My lungs were suddenly without air A cold chill crawled up my spine Wanting, yearning you to be mine My cold heart began to thaw You held me dumbstruck and in awe Standing there petrified on the spot My heart and soul is what you caught Locked with you in a sweet embrace Your lips like candy to the taste You were unknowing to my true feelings Still these thoughts keep me kneeling You my queen and I your knight My mind still wandering in the darkness of night Waiting to find my first once again