NTZ's blog: "A Return Of Thought"

Even I would question my own return to this place.  Why now?  Why here?  What actually brings me back?  Using the reason of boredom feels too easy of an answer.  Could have returned to other sites and other things.  Honestly, was just another night where emotionally as always I was unstable and it led me back to Fubar.  So what, who cares. Most of those I once enjoyed here is either no longer here or no longer speaks to me.  That so called list got smaller and smaller over the years.  Which, is what is expected.  You dont get involved in these sites looking for anything but something to do, something to pass the time.  Yet human interactions can cause connections that can be seconds long, or be the beginning of a life time of friendship.  No different than any place you find yourself at over and over again: school, work, church, or same community organized activities with those in your neighborhood.  Something must happen, shouldn't it?  So here i am once again.  Finding myself logging on more than I thought I would, or even should.  Where will this go this time?  A reason to leave at that time became this website basically passed me by.  I couldn't do anything here, so many restrictions.  Realized no longer could enjoy what i found myself enjoying, the mumms and the characters it created.  Now that land slowly chugs along and some of those characters pop their heads out from time to time, and then there is I.  I'm probably thinking of this because I never stay with a plan, if i ever did make plans.  I just got with whatever I feel like doing.  So how long will this last?  Reality is that you take away the place you find yourself the most, you realize you actually have to find a reason to speak to someone other than that place.  No mumms meant people actually had to find a reason to speak to me, and vice versa.  Me, not the conversation starter type.  Not the, curious in others type.  So the end to that list and the bouncing to place to place continues on.  All isn't gone.  Lots of same olds I continue to mingle with no matter where I am over this enigma that is the internet.  Guess i'm lucky.  So what now will become of all of this?  I can only answer that one way:

...SO WHAT, WHO CARES!