As a little girl all she ever wanted was to be loved by her parents and her siblings. She awakes one morning to find her
mom crying and doesn't know why, but she starts to cry. Her mom sits us all down, being one of five children all different
ages, she tells us that our father has met someone else and will not be coming to live with us anymore. The oldest kids
understand a little more then the younger ones, but the younger ones knew it wasn't good. A week or two later she is
called to the den with the rest of the kids,and sitting in the den is her dad and mom sitting on different couches, and she
remembers looking him in the eye, sees remorse and sadness for what he has done, and she grows
sad for him, but angry at him. They sit the kids down and explain that they are getting a divorce but that her dad will
have visitation rights for the weekends. Her dad was the only one working in the house through out the marriage, her mom
stayed home with all of us and she didn't know how we were gonna make it. Her dad was supposed to pay child
support for the three younger children but never did. Her mom got a secretary job, and since all her kids were in
all day school she could work while they went to school. She remembers coming home to her older sister or brother there
to take care of us. It was a transition, no one wanted to eat together anymore like we shared on Sunday nights. Our
whole family was in shambles and didn't know how to change or deal with it, but we worked through most of it together
and any personal issues we did on our own. We all stopped being together on Sundays for dinner, and the first
Thanksgiving and Christmas was the hardest for her to deal with. She wanted her parents back together, but knew that
he wouldn't be coming back. She was 11 when her parents got divorced and from the ages of 11 - 18 she saw her father
maybe twice. He had visitation rights for the weekend but he would show up late, and she would only get a day with
him, or he wouldn't show up at all. She was angry,sad, mad, betrayed, unloved, abandoned, and wondering why
he wouldn't want to spend time with his daugher. She grows and is in High School, she has her junior prom, and her
and her date go to see him, as he is only about 15 minutes away from where they are having the prom. He invites them
in for about a minute and then has to get back to working on the house is sharing with his wife. After she leaves each
time she is feeling unwanted, sad, abandoned, and unloved. What did she do to deserve this?? She did absolutely
nothing, he is the one that chose to treat his own kids that way. Senior goes by and then her graduation is coming
on fast. Then her graduattion day has arrived. She graduates from High School, he was there, and she wondered why
he was there in the first place, seeing as he wasn't there for anything else. She graduated and had to do jaw surgery
the month after. She was 19 for the first surgery, and almost 20 for the second. They went in and reconstructed her
bottom jaw and moved her top jaw out, and up a little. After she healed enough and was able to get a job she did, and
who does she run into one evening, her dad and his now wife. She doesn't know what to say to him, only knowing that
all those feelings toward him are coming up and doesn't want to cause a scene with everyone there, she plays it off and
acts all nice and wanting to stay in touch, and he is touched by that and states that he would like to stay in touch as
well. Years go by and not one phone call, card, or anything from him, even though she sent him cards for his birthday,
and most of the holidays. She still wondered what she did to deserve a father, that didn't want her in his life. Well
sometime in the future, shortly after she has her second son, she learns from her older sister that her father has died
in a mysteriously car explosion. She gets mixed emotions when it finally sinks in that her father is dead and not
coming back ever. So any questions she had for him, or anyone else had will not be answered. She still isn't sure about
how he actually died, the authorities are calling it an accident/ suicide. She thinks that it's really a homicide and two
people that he was supposed to meet there killed him and blew up his car to cover the evidence. She still has certain
things to deal with, and the trust with guys is a big one, and also the leaving and never coming back has plagued her
since her dad left, she is slowly working to improve that. This is a story about my dad, but i wanted to write as if
you were looking through her (me) and seeing how i felt, feel now and what i am dealing with it. Hugs
