STAR's blog: "MY RANTS...."

Today wasn't a good or bad day. It was just...a day. I mainly listened to my friends lives of sorrows and happenings, and reflected upon my own life. I think EVERYONE goes thru troubles on a daily basis! Isn't it funny how nothing is completely balanced? If it isn't a relationship, its your career, if its not those two, then its finances..........But I really believe it is those little things--those special moments that we forget about that should overcome all the fear and doubt. So many relationships are being torn apart because people lose faith. Not just in God--but in THEMSELVES. I believe that when I start a new relationship, that I want someone who is going to have faith in the Lord, themselves & ME. Besides communication, I think that is key.Perhaps I won't be with anyone at all....I am going to just take it one day at a time and wait for the right person this time if he happens to come along. My priorities are high. He must love the Lord, he must have confidence in himself, and he MUST want a family life. I am to help others and pray for others that are suffering the way I used to. I still have pain--believe me. Just because you believe in God doesn't automatically make any of the pain go away! It just is different by realizing you have no control-HE does, and letting God handle it instead of yourself--when I do that my pain subsides, and I can once again relish in happy moments.I just know not to take things for granted like I used to.I sincerely believe if I don't do anything else, I am to Thank God for the little things and rejoice in them. No matter how bad things may seem around me now, there is Always some joy to look forward to.

Physical attraction for me is awesome! Its fantastic......but then what? I can only stare at your pretty little heart-shaped butt for so long............I mean, er...........face ya thats it. Mental Attraction is futile! It is a MUST in my little book of I WANTS in a man. So for the man who has all the looks and personality, but asks........what does she mean by this? (and for those who have absolutely no clue what I am writing about-here ya go) Mental attraction for me is the way someone can say or write things that pull at your heart strings. Its when you can actually relate on their level what they are trying to convey about themselves. I feel that Mental attraction is very personal. It is something that makes someone actually have to come out of their shell and share about themselves and risk being accepted or rejected. EXAMPLE: I really love it when someone can read what I am writing right now, and have something be touched from the inside and they say.........OMG She read my mind. That, my friends is an example of mental attraction. Some have it and some don't. Ok here's another example: We are talking and we have the same hobbies.......all great and good....then you say: ya and in my spare time I collect dolls and watch cartoons............ OK- the sound of a record screeching is going off in my head...........this is NOT mental attraction to me personally. Ok maybe to a 17-21 yr old girl, they could relate......but I certainly cant--not when you are over 27. Another one of those NON mental attractions for me is someone telling me they live with their parents. And as my best friend also pointed out- Being Jobless and over 27... Cannot handle it. Now this is just me. Different strokes for different folks. I find myself HIGH maintenance in this area. Its not that I need to be "Entertained". I want to be able to have conversation and share my dreams goals and life experiences both daily past and present with someone and he with me. I WANT to know what you did last Saturday night and WAS IT a good shampoo!!!! If not, I may be able to recommend a better one!

Don't you just hate fake people!!! That would be on my top 5 of things that I cannot STAND! GRRRRR I know that being on the internet, you meet people that are fakes. They try to portray themselves as really great people and OH just EVERYTHING you have always wanted! And you know you are in euphoria for the first few days chatting..........What an awesome.....5-6 pics you have and everything they have typed to you personally makes your heart skip triple digits. BEWARE! Be CAUTIOUS OF YOUR HEART! Now I am writing this to both men AND women! It works both ways! The Fakes are out to steal your hearts. They do it I think for some Sick pleasure. I am not sure why they do it. Please feel free to leave your comments! All I know is this: I am real. My pictures of me are real. I dont try to be something Im not. What u see, hear, talk to, chat with is the real deal. BE REAL!!!

What if you found that ultimate person...that one that you know in your heart, mind, body & soul was the ONE. What if they lived far? That GU=(geographically undesirable)person. What would you do? Finding a person that will complete our lives in every way is our ultimate goal. Everyone was made and programmed that way. To find someone that completes us, that fills our hearts with joy, is our best friend, our loyal and trustworthy companion. Most of us search for this person on a daily basis, and keep finding our hearts ripped out at the seams because that person couldn't fulfill a part of us or WE couldn't fulfill them. Sometimes we find someone who can never be that person we would like them to be. I dated someone for 7 years. We Never fought! We were best friends and loved each other dearly. We had SO much fun doing even mundane day to day things together. He was my world. And one day, he just sat down and said he couldn't do it anymore!!! Shock to me! I was happy! Here's the thing: as much as we LOVED each other, our life goals weren't the same. I wanted marriage and kids. He didn't want either, as much as he tried to want it. So now, here I am .......still single with a few failed relationships along the way-and wonder....What IF I found HIM??? Would I travel and move there? Would I take every chance I could? Or would I give up and state hopelessness because it just could never be? How do people know this if they don't take that chance? I know I am a strong person. I can be alone and okay with it. Some girls and guys cannot. They feel they "MUST" be in a relationship, whether its good or bad. I would rather be alone and single than with someone and miserable!! So Please Ponder these thoughts carefully. IF you met someone, that one person who you could share the rest of your lifetime with in blissful happiness, would you honestly do everything possible to be with that person? Or would you just think to yourself........oh there's other fish in the sea....another will come around. Would you really take a risk for someone to spend your life with?

Now everyone calls me picky. I have to draw the line on guys that want to date me with names I cannot pronounce! I mean, come on! Seriously, can I see myself screaming OH Abjooulisie.........baby! NOT! I know they didnt get to pick their name. I didn't get to pick mine either and had all kinds of issues with it growing up with the one L in it. But at least it can be pronounced! I guess I just want an ALL AMERICAN guy....sigh..........

I find myself contemplating this very idea. There is just NO romance anymore when it comes to dating. I mean, dinner, drinks.....and then what? I haven't dated a prince charming in years it seems!! Where is the romance? Is it dead? One of the most wonderful guys permeates my mind. We talked for hours and hours before we met. When we finally did meet, it was like FIREWORKS! The physical attraction was awesome. But it was what he had in his hands that melted me. Flowers. Yes Guys..........He brought FLOWERS on his first date. Now...most will think this is cheesy, but ALL women love it. If they don't you may want to check if they ARE a woman! It was just an added touch, something that he had gone out of his way to show me he thought I was special. Romance. Sigh. I melt at the thought of it. Going out of your way to show someone how special they are to you hardly exists any longer. From what I have realized, men think a phone call or coming over to see you is sufficient enough to justify the fact that they are interested in you. Romance goes both ways! Sisters, come on! If you do have a man that brings you flowers, surprise him one day with a bubble bath and candles...just for him! Lavish him! While hes in the bath, make yourself as beautiful as possible, throw on some sexy lingerie, candles around the bedroom, and show him how Special he is! I just wish more people would keep it Alive after they are together. I think if more people had romance in their lives for each other, there would be less divorce. Romance isn't just flowers and candy. I consider the little things romantic! *the way he stares at you and brushes a piece of your hair away from your face *when he leaves little notes around the house, telling you how he feels *coming home to a house lit up by candles and a bottle of wine waiting for you *when he grabs your hand in public and pulls you close to him *kissing in the rain *feeding you dessert *when he holds the door open for you, and the car door *when he makes you feel protected from the rest of the world I know there are so many more ways, but these were the ones that came to my mind. I hope for all that read this, if you are with someone, to remember the reason you ARE with them is because they ARE special. Bring back the Romance I say!! Show them you will go out of your way to show them they are special!!