Sher's blog: "my random thoughts and feelings"

He went to get help with his drinking. It was tearing the family apart. He was mean to the kids. To the mother of his kids.

He said he was doing it for the family so he wouldn't lose them. He stayed in a place that helped him.

He was able to come home and said he would on mothers day. Mothers day came and he saw his family. They left in tears because he told them he wanted to stay where he was for another month or two.

She didn't understand and asked him what was going on that he didn't want to come home. He got angry and said he wasn't ready to come home. He wants his time. He rarely calls. And when he does, he's angry at her for asking when they can be a family again.

She has never stopped loving him. Will stand beside him always.

But is broken hearted at all of this. She doesn't understand why he doesn't say "I love you back" anymore, only "you too"

She works hard to take care of the kids. Struggles to provide. Sits alone and no one to talk to. She cries everyday, the pain wont go away.

Should she wait and see if he comes home?

My inspiration was never really there.

My inspiration, noone ever cared.

My inspiration I thought would never come.

 My inspiration, I just needed some.

 My inspiration talked to me one night.

 My inspiration showed me new light.

My inspiration, so genuine and true.

 My inspiration is you.

Ok so i met this guy right. He was awesome. Everything I had been searching for. We spent lots of time together. Laughing, loving, sharing. There was nothing that we couldn't talk about. Shared our deepest thoughts and feelings. then one day. It all stopped. He stopped talking to me. No communication at all. He had said there was a lot going on in his life with family. I understood and offered my help. I don't know, I just don't understand why. I don't understand how loving someone can push them away from you. All I ever offered was my love. All that ever mattered was his happiness. Now I'm here, my heart in a million pieces. Makes me want to be hard and uncaring. I don't know...I'm just tired of the pain. tired of games. I want to be loved for me.

I keep my paintbrush with me, Wherever I may go, In case I need to cover up, So the real me doesn't show. I'm so afraid to show you me, Afraid of what you'll do, That you might laugh or say mean things, I'm afraid I might lose you. I'd like to remove all my paint coats, To show you the real true me, But I need you to understand, I need to accept what you see.

Why is it so hard. So full of pain. It's all so confusing. I feel I'm left standing in the rain. One minutes he's there, And the next he's not. It's like playing a game. Kicked down on the first shot. What did I do? Not love enough? Was I not true? I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm only me. I have a lot to give, For that special one. But it must be my destiny, To walk only as one.