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Twitchy's blog: "My ramblings"

created on 03/19/2007  |  http://fubar.com/my-ramblings/b66131

YAY - Renea

I am soo proud of Renea. She rode her bike all the way around the block. It has training wheels, but it is a big step from her being terrified of it. She is doing so well. She is also excited about the baby. She talks to him/her a lot. Things are going pretty well. Hopefully it stays that way. Christmas is soon, my FAVORITE holiday. I love the spirit and the music and everything about it. Seeing the look on Renea's face when she opens her gifts from "santa". We are going to make a countdown to christmas chain out of construction paper.... That should be a fun project for her and I to do together. There are soo many toys I want to get her, but toys are soo damn expensive. I worked it out with my mom, and I am going to get the small things, and my mom will get the big things. I saw this cute sleepover tent for $15 at walmart.. I think i am going to get it for her. Its the Princess' of course.. We shall see. Have a merry Christmas all. Love you. xoox

By Kindergarten

I cant believe how much kids need to know before they reach kindergarten. How to spell and write their name, address and phonenumber.. all the abc and 123. When I was in kindergarten, they taught us all that stuff.. I am working on a letter a week its going to have to be.. incorporate the letter in everything we do all week.. Its going to be some tough work.. Wish me luck.

Taking the mumms to far

->~*Twitchy*...: yeah.. i have plenty of guys looking at me and wouldnt look twice at a bitch like you.. smart? no your not? pretty? you may be, but the attitude is fucking ugly.. And you make me cry?? yeah right, i have plenty of self esteem. And no one like you is going to bring it down bitchlmao: lmao...ok keep telling yourself that.its ok u dont have to pretend.i know girls like you low sel esteems,over weight.the one who gets no1 to look at her...cause all the guys are looking at girls like me...oretty,sexy,smart,good body. its ok.dont cry....booooohoooohooooo lmao...gotta go now douchcunt.a bitch gatta go back to work!!! lmao. grab tissus and go cry now fatty.oh and i hear eating salad is good for u and your fat ass,atkins works too!! lmao bye bitch ->~*Twitchy*...: hahaha funny.. god you make me laugh soooo hard. i forgot we were in gradeschool bitchlmao: awww is the poor baby mad? lmao. u ngot ugly duckling syndrome> lol pig face ->~*Twitchy*...: yeah, no one wants me.. funny. you think you know. you dont know shit. so mind your business and shut your mouth bitchlmao: lmao...are we mad? lmao. in your dreams. thats right im a slut.and good at it too. look at you?your a joke.pathetic! no1 wants your fat ass ->~*Twitchy*...: no, i dont wish i could look like you, cause then i would be a stupid ass bitch who thinks they are better then everyone. I am happy with the way i am. Your the closed minded slut. fucking anything that moves. I dont give a fuck if you are a swinger or not. I was just saying it wasnt for me and you wanted to get all bitchy about it. You feel like you need to defend your "way of life" by being a stuck up cunt about it. I dont give a fuck about your life or what you do with it. you get aids and die? i dont give a fuck. bitchlmao: well you said i dont have a pic...so thought id show you. much better then what you got going on.and i still say your closed minded.MY OPINION BITCH.YOU DONT LIKE IT TO FUCKIN BAD!!! SUCK MY CUNT! YOU WISH YOU CAOULD LOOK HALF AS GOOD AS ME....LMAO LOSER ->~*Twitchy*...: i didnt say i wanted to see a pic. I just pointed out you didnt have one and you were bashing mine. I dont give a fuck what you look like, for all i know, thats not even you.. WHO GIVES A FUCK. you call me closed minded when you are the one bitching and complaining about MY FUCKING OPINION. dont be ignorant. it doesnt look good on you bitchlmao: you wanted to see a pic.so there. ->~*Twitchy*...: not what your profile says.. like i said, great doctor.. bitchlmao: No Im FeMaLe AlL ThE WaY. So FuCk OfF.... ->~*Twitchy*...: cause you just put it up. and a male? you had a great doctor bitchlmao: ThErE YoU Go BiTcH NoW YoU CaN SeE ->~*Twitchy*...: unless they are private, i dont see one of you. bitchlmao: Ya I Do. In My PiCs NiCe TrY ->~*Twitchy*...: well you dont even have a pic of yourself.. so you have no room to talk bitchlmao: Ya I CaN TeLl LoL ->~*Twitchy*...: nah, dont like them much. bitchlmao: Go EaT A SaLaD bitchlmao: FaT AsS BiTcH ClOsEd MiNdEd DoUcHe BaG ->~*Twitchy*...: because I spoke my opinion? ->~*Twitchy*...: how am i a whore? ->~*Twitchy*...: thanks for the "1" bitchlmao: fuck U WhORe
Well, I had a doctors appointment today, and I am 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I am excited. I am hoping for a boy, but as long as "its" healthy, I dont care. I havent told my family yet, just a few friends. Wish me luck.

Just wondering

We, or most of us, spend a big part of our lives searching for that "Mr/Mrs" Right. My question is, how long to we continue on the search before we just give up, before we are sick and tired of coming up empty handed? I myself have thought I have found "True Love" three times in my life. The first one being six years older then me and we met when I was fifteen. Nothing happened until I was of legal age for it to, but still. What was I thinking? The second person is the father of my child. Of course I would "love" him. In all reality, I think I just loved the idea of him, thinking a child needed both a mother and a father, but I was only 16. The next and third guy would be my most recent ex. He literally ripped my heart out and I think he is the only person I REALLY loved in my life, significant other wise. I moved in with him, helped him while he was on deployment, waited for him just for him to come home and tell me he was going to be with someone else. I think that was the final straw for me. I dont want to look anymore. I dont want to get my heart broken over and over again by shallow ass men who have probably been ruined by the bitch ass chicks. Other people need to stop messing it up for everyone else. Come on now, stop fucking with all the good guys and turning them into dicks. Its not fair. Well, I guess I am done with this rambling... (got the idea from another)

blog before bed.

I am guessing it would be in my best interest to remain celibate for the rest of my life. I think I would stay out of more trouble that way. SEX IS BAD!! (well, I dont really think so) but still. I think I am going to forget about men for a while and just stick with me, myself and I. I can please myself faster then any man can anyways lmao. I guess that means I need some more porn. Hmm... Doesnt sounds like a bad idea. Everyone will tell me yeah right on the no sex thing, but Im fed up with men. They just tick me off. Anywho, off to get myself off and then bed. Enjoy your night. xoxo

where is sleep?

Sleep escapes me tonight, yet again. I have so much on my mind, yet not many people know about some things and it is not yet time to tell. I look in the mirror and see how unattractive I look/feel. No wonder I cannot find a decent man to love me. I can't even bare to love myself. I have so much I want to change about myself, but none of the self-motivation or confidence that I may need. I actually cried over my ex today. It has been almost 4 months since I have done that. Am I regressing in getting over him? Is that possible? When someone breaks my heart, I am depressed for a few days, and then I go about my life like nothing happened, making up reasons to hate the person who did it, even if they are unlogical reasons to do so. It makes it easier to pull myself away from said person. Makes it easier to not love them anymore. Or so I thought. I don't know what I am going to do with my life. I don't know what I am going to do for my daughter. I love my job, and I hope to stay there for as long as possible, but I want my daughter to have more. Have things she wants and needs. Unlike my childhood, I want her to be happy and know I love her. I just wish I wasn't so alone. My friends abandoned me when I got pregnant with her, and friends that have come since, disappeared shortly after. I don't think I am that bad of a person. People my age are just now turning 21 and getting the experience of drinking and going out and having fun. I can't do that stuff. I have other priorities. But one always wonders..... I just wish I had someone to talk to, that understands where I am coming from. Someone to hang out with, even if my daughter is around, and things stay "G" rated without the other person getting pissed about it. Someone who can accept me for me and my daughter for who she is and who her father is. No one is going to like everyone in this world, but that does not mean you need to single out a little child because of it. I guess I just wish for so much. Though again, I highly doubt more then 4 people will read this, it feels good to get it out in the open. It's all just a bunch of mumbo jumbo, unorganized thoughts, but who cares. It makes sense to me, and that's all that matters.

Work

I have only been working for two days now and I already know I am going to love my job. Working at a portrait studio. I love my boss, she has a great sense of humor. And I just can't wait to start taking pictures. The only bad thing about working is that I haven't worked in two and a half years so my body is kinda in pain right now. Oh well, I can deal. I am just happy I finally have a job and it is something I love doing. YAY ME!!!
All I have right now is time to sit around and think about what I want in a relationship. I have come to the conclusion, that although this is just my fantasy and will probably never happen, that I would like my own "fairytale" relationship. I want a guy to spoil me with flowers for no reason, to just tell me I am beautiful out of no where. A guy that makes me feel like I am the only person in the world to him. I know that pretty much every girl has this ideal relationship, but I am just putting mine down in words. I want my very own "Prince Charming." Poetic, hopeless romantic, big hearted, and obviously must love children. One who would do anything to make me smile, and try and keep me smiling. One that when he is doing something that really upsets me, tries to find a way to fix it, instead of saying, that he is not going to stop doing it just to please me, although that is not what I ask of him. If he is doing something that upsets me, and I let him know, I would just like him to consider my feelings, and then at least not do it as often. ( I know what I am refering to so yeah... ) I want a guy that will ask me how my day was and take me out sometimes, or even just plan a romantic night at home on the couch, cuddled up to watch a movie. One who will LOVE me for ME. Not want to change me or even try to. Unconditional love is what I want. Like I said when I first started writing this, and also in the title, I know this may never happen, and it's just me putting my want into words. If you are going to comment, dont be a dick and say some stupid shit cause it'll just piss me off. If you dont like it, dont read my stuff. Other than that, if you do read this and are a friend, thanks for paying attention to me. I love you guys. xoxo

I WIN

Well I had court today to determine the paternity test results for my daughter. HE IS THE FATHER!!! He knew it. I dont know why he wanted to waste his money to get proof for what he knew. Now I hear he is going to fight me for custody.. OVER MY DEAD BODY!!! He can see her all he wants, but he cant even take care of himself, let alone a child. As soon as we walked out of the court room, I looked at his wife and told her, in a smartass way, that he was the father. She was pissed. I dont really give a damn. I hate her, the feeling is mutual, and for all I care, she can have nothing to do with my daughter. Anyone who hates a child just because she doesnt like the mother doesnt deserve to see her, even if she is the father's wife. Screw her. Well, not even with a 10ft pole. But still. I am just happy that he FINALLY cant deny our beautiful little girl. His wife acts like I want him back. If I wanted him back, I could have had him. I kicked him out. I dont want him. Well, Im done rambling with this now.
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