sweetest kiss's blog: "MY POETRY"

oh we need a little christmas and that's all you'll get with bills and life all my money is spent no ribbons and paper or shiny new bows only misery, sorrow, and other such woes my son wants everything what should i do? give him what little i can and hear his boo hoo's? that his letter to santa got lost in the mail? will he be upset, scream and whail? feelings of inadequacy shame fills my heart i am such a bad mother not doing my part this year all the gaiety of the holidays will ensue but for me it will be nothing but stressful and blue

Basking in the glow of a pale harvest moon..my thoughts aren't of love but sadness and gloom I stroll along a shadowed path..inner demons whisper and laugh I stumble upon fragrant hues..red, yellow, pink,even blue Searching for a certain kind..that will give me piece of mind Suddenly i see it wet with dew...its intoxicating beauty makes me think of you Like a cold black heart warm to the touch..an unpolished diamond in the rough I graze the soft petals against my cheek...feelings of empowerment..not so weak I stand a little taller..not so beat down Releasing a healing scream that has no sound

how can you adore someone you've never met? love someone you don't even know? why does your heart ache for something that will never be? wasted days and nights pondering about nothing crying tears for something that isn't real pushing away reality for unfulfilled dreams is it just me? am i stuck in perpetual illusions? waiting and hoping that one day my fantasy will appear before me real and solid can it be? is it possible? highly doubtful so i trudge on biding my time chasing rainbows my head stuck in the clouds

thoughts flying familiar shadows searching waiting wondering an enigma kind yet cruel seeing yet blind it waits stalking innocence eyes flutter pulse races sweat beads nails bite flesh torn answers found unwanted and discarded tears fall inner demons scream quiet solace darkness overwhelms silence has won

i am alone lost in a vast darkness clinging to my dreams lost in illusions trying to focus searching for salvation blissfully unaware of the grand scheme shutting out lifes harsh reality

Do you ever sit back and look at your friends on your page and think "who the fuck are you people?" Ive been doing that alot lately...i mean friends are supposed to be people that you know and communicate with...i have alot on my page that haven't said a word to me. ~sigh~ Thinking about changing up my friend page....i mean if you haven' taken the time to even check me out, why am i on your list?!?!