JacquelinAnn's blog: "My Poetry"

I see you alone in your room... I see you hidden from the world... I see you naked... in a sense... I see you for who you really are... I see you... behind all the masks and charades... A cheat... a liar... a phony... a fake... And oh so much hate... As the blade runs across your skin... I see what you really are inside... I see that you are no different than I... I see you had no reason for the hate you bestowed upon me... Before you go... Tell me one thing... What makes you hate??? But alas I was too late... For to much blood had been spilled... So I ask you now... Was it really worth it???

I feel so dead inside Sometimes when I lay in bed I seriously wonder if I am alive Then I move my finger and realize I am alive... but just barely I am the living dead I feel so dead inside I feel this emptiness in my soul I wonder if I will ever feel again Then I get depressed and realize I can still feel... just not anything good I am the living dead Note to readers: This was a while a go I'm not this depressed anymore. lol

I cry inside for the things I try to hide From everyone... including myself, I hide this shit inside I hide the darkness along with the light... Knowing it will never be alright So cold and alone it’s a pain you will never know Pain that never sleeps... No use trying to run The pain... it doesn’t breath... I know... I’ve tried to drown it I will never be perfect, I will never be sane I will never be safe from the monster hiding inside The monster in my soul that desolates everything it sees I wish I could stop it... But until I find a way Save yourself the pain that is me... Run while you still can...

Wanna see something really scary Well then I dare you Take another stab at my back How many times do you think it’ll take Before I crack Before I snap Before I start to laugh While taking my axe to your back How many insults can you rape someone with Before they finally fight back Who the fuck are you Why do you hate What makes you think that I should be like you Why should I conform to fit your standards Why don’t you conform to mine What makes you think that your better than me

Some laugh... Say I’m Crazy... when I know... Something bad is going to happen... But when I’m right... No one is laughing They are all too scared... It came true. I sincerely wish... I could be one of you... The “happy people”... Be all about bunnies and puppy love... But it’s kinda hard... When I close my eyes... I see all the wolds evil. Some say I was born defective... Even when I sleep... I see murder and rape... inside my head... So for now... Take joy in the fact... Your not like me. One of these days... I’ll beg you not to go... You’ll laugh it off... Like you always do. Laugh at me... Call me a freak... Go ahead... But just remember... One day... The joke... Will be on you.

Pain Torment Shame Anguish Disgust Fear Anger Thoughts of Suicide Thoughts of Homicide Sitting in the shower rocking back and forth Sitting Rocking Scrubbing Trying to scrub off the pain along with the feelings of shame and disgust Flashbacks Tormented thoughts Drowning in the anguish Pictures playing back in my head Fear of going anywhere or doing anything Fear of living, Fear of breathing Fear of thinking Hoping I will forget Knowing it will haunt me forever Pain Torment Shame Anguish Fear Anger Forever