lila's blog: "my poetry"

I want to cry I need to cry But I just can't cry Everything seems to be going wrong I met a guy I fell for him Hard and fast I thought we had something special Then he ditched me And I came back to earth I came crashing down Just as life seems to settle Something changes Just as I begin to feel like I fit in My life is uprooted again I wish I could just let go and cry But I can't

Oh, how I wish I could dam up my heart. Then you couldn't hurt me ever again. If I could dam up my heart, Don't you think I would have done it by now? I pretend it doesn't hurt when you choose them over me. After all I'm only your daughter. Why should you worry about me? I'll get over it. I always have. If only I could stop caring Caring about what you do or say. But I can't. Believe me I've tried. So go on live your life. LEAVE ME ALONE. I know you won't, you never will. But you will never know, I swear. You'll never know how much it hurts. To live day by day Without you. Never knowing where you are, Or whether you even care about me at all.

Sometimes I think life is just too hard Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier To give up I wonder what there is to live for Why should I keep on? Would anybody miss me? I can't handle the pressure I can't deal with it all Everyone wants something different from me Nobody ever realizes the turmoil inside me I hurt so much I feel like ending it all My achievments don't seem to mean anything What do I do? Someone help me I feel like I am losing my mind I can't control anything I want to curl up in a ball and just die Help me. Please help me I feel like I am drowning Sinking into crushing black oblivion Will someone please rescue me

Life can be hard, So be on your guard, People will hurt you, Sad but true, Stressfull times will come, So don't be dumb, Be sensitive and caring, Be outgoing and daring, But most of all be true to yourself, Through trouble and sadness, Through good times filled with gladness, Hold fast to your goal, Don't let gloom swallow you whole, Be bright and cheerful, And ever be hopeful, For life is ahead, So don't lie in bed, Greet the world with joy, For it is your toy, So go now and live, Life as it is meant to be lived.

I am lost in a sea of people I am one of the crowd And yet I am all alone I am lost in a fog A fog of confusion and doubt I don't understand myself anymore I don't know what I want What happened to the self-assured person Who knew exactly what she wanted from life? Who knew exactly what her next move should be? I wish I had someone to turn to Someone who could set me straight again My dreams feel like they are impossible to attain My goals feel like they are too high to reach What do I do? Tell me Someone Please

All is quiet and still. Take a big breath. Now let it out slow. Look at the glow. The sun's glow. As it dips below Below the horizon. Look at the colors, The hues of pink Blended with blue and yellow The sky is ablaze But all around is a deep quiet As though nature itself Is in awe of the beauty the beauty of the sunset And all around in this quiet Is a feeling of peace Fill your heart with this peace For soon it will end And reality will kick in As the last rays of the sun sink below the horizon nature resumes its hustle and bustle and you return to your busy life there to await the next sunset and the next moment of peace

What defines true happiness and how do we know when we are truly happy? What is true love and how do we know when we have found it? Without love what is there worth living for? Does anyone really make a lasting impression in the world or a real impact at all? If I died right now would anyone outside my family even miss me? Do I really matter to anyone? How does anyone know when they have met "the one"? The one they can express everything to and who they can spend their life with?

Every sunrise is the beginning of a new day Each new day starts off fresh with a clean slate Every sunset marks the ending of the day It marks the passing of time and the completion of the circle

I'm torn between two places. I'm torn between two people. I'm always in the middle, Always on edge. Who do I believe? Who do I support? How can I go on torn in two? How can anyone live a full life, When they are in pieces? My heart has been ripped apart, By two people seeking to hurt each other. But what they don't realise Is that in seeking to hurt each other They have instead hurt me.

Anger flows through my veins. My blood boils. My head pounds. I wish everyone would just shut up and leave me alone. Where is my place of solitude? Where is my moment of peace? They are all gone and all that is left is anger. Raw and untamed. Fast and furious. Rage is fast consuming me. So leave me alone before I explode.