Wiccan Warrior's blog: "My Poetry"

"Sunday Fathers" I used to be a sunday kid Didn't care what my father did I didn't really see the pain For all I knew he was to blame Sunday fathers sunday fools We have to follow all the rules We get our turn just wait in line We're doing nothing except buying time Now I feel my fathers pain I feel as though I will go insane Now I know the reasons why I used to see my father cry I swore I'd never wear his shoes Now as he did I pay my dues Life just seems to dwindle on Yet the pain grows with every dawn I feel so empty deep down inside This severe pain that's so hard to hide I shed these tears they comfort me My dreams of life will never be I have lost it all I don't care I've lost my son life is so unfair I dream of things that I could do Yet they are all wrong in society's view I hope that he will learn to see He will always be a part of me I love him and only want the best But until he understands I can not rest I am sorry Jesse I want to be there Son you will never understand how much I care I long to spend time with you God knows I LOVE YOU I wrote this about my oldest son, Jesse, two months after his mother and I split up. He is now 20 tears old. We are able to enjoy his time with his three younger brothers, together. Charles Gaudin

" Today" Today my soul mourns because a true feeling died It could have lived if I would have nurtured it If I would have tried Now in its place exists only emptiness She is gone no longer there for me to caress I honestly believed what we had was true something real Apparently her "love" was a bitter sweet lie Deep inside I wonder what she did feel There were so many things I said that now make no sense Everything she offered was presented under false pretence Today my soul morns because a true feeling died The days for tears are long gone now But my heart still aches when I remember how I foolishly tried The time for wondering and confusion are gone The love has died it's time to move on Copyright ©2007 Charles H Gaudin

"Lost"" Locked in a room without any windows Endlessly chasing countless shadows Hoping to find someone to hold This empty feeling has become so old When it ends I'm always alone These empty halls echo my groan Cold its always so cold Having only sacred memories to hold I want to be loved for me Not what you can accept or choose to see My love is blind my walls are high It's difficult to explain when you ask me why The pain rips through my soul I feel as if I have no control To love completely it's an emotional holocaust So now I just sit here alone and lost Copyright ©2007 Charles H Gaudin Another failed attempt at a doomed relationship. Looking back I wonder why I tried so hard. It wouldn't have mattered. Blessed Be My Friends!! Charles H Gaudin

"Fuck You" You think you have all the aces Better make sure you covered all the bases Constantly walking that fine proper line Its a fucking shame that you are running out of time Everyone watches your head swell As you constantly ring your own bell Playing games you think you can win With heels on fire you walk on ice that's thin Push me in a corner and you will see This bastard will show you pain that you thought could never be You aren't the only one who plays the game Your only problem is I have no shame Just when you think you're at the top That's when your fucking bubble will pop And when you realize you are under fire You will realize too late it is your life I desire Had a slight problem with an individual. We eventually "worked" it out. Although I try to stay positive I wasn't always this way. Guess I've grown a little. Charles Gaudin

"Is It You" You talk down at me You look down on what you think you see But is it really me You claim it has to be Then again you claim I'm one step from insanity You see me through blind eyes with such clarity You forget yourself when you judge my life a tradegy So let's reevaluate this discrepancy Because in my mind one plus one will never equal three So tell me what it is you are afraid to set free In your terms it must be anarchy But is it really me Or is it you Copyright ©2007 Charles H Gaudin This was writtten after I was honest with someone about the fact that I am Wiccan. This person was supposed to be close to me. After that revelation, I realized how judgemental this person was. It was a difficult lesson to learn. It's sad when your trust is broken over personal faith and beliefs. There seems to be a very high price to pay if you decide to follow your heart as far as faith is concerned. I have lost numerous so called friends over my decisions concerning my beliefs. To those who accept me as I am ,THANK YOU. Blessed Be!! Charles Gaudin

"To Walk That Cold Lonely Path" I dream of life I dream of death I dream of that candy crystal meth I dream of that fire running through my vein And lying naked in the cooling rain I miss the rush and exhilaration I miss the burn of the needle's penetration I miss the feeling of being able to take on anything and win I miss looking in the mirror at that tooth grinding grin Strange thing is I don't miss them enough Because I remember when the shit got rough Acking in every joint for just one hit Helplessly wondering if I could ever quit Watching my dream of ecstasy turn into a nightmare Wathing that tooth grinding grin turn into a cold empty stare Destroying more than I would ever realize Slowly extinguishing that flame in her warm loving eyes I lost almost everything that was a necessity for me to live I greedily took everything she was willing to give I was destroying myself I didn't care I was slowly destroying our love it was more than she could bare I walked that cold lonely path with true friend But even she had to get away from me in the end Memories of past and dreams of my future gave me strenth to carry on My need for cocaine and crystal meth now are gone Yes I still feel teh burning in every joint I know I will never feel another needle's point Memories sometimes haunt me in my sleep I could never go back the pain runs too deep This is most probably the most honest poem I have ever written. Those who know me on a personal level, know I am honest about my addiction. I have been clean since April 1991. Unfortunately I never had the chance to thank Tina Johnson for saving my life. She passed away before I got the chance to say, thank you. Charles Gaudin