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My parents divorced in 1980. A pessimist would say that I was the cause that extended a bad marriage eight years longer than it should have lasted.
I remember a long custody battle between my parents that eventually landed me and my sister with my mom. We were with her for about a year until we were deemed old enough to pick who we wanted to be with. We both decided to live with dad.
I think the reason we decided to live with dad was because mom was making some pretty questionable decisions at the time. She was dating some guys that I was not very impressed with. The one she ended up marrying was the worst of the bunch.
Mom married a guy named Michael McShane sometime in 1984. This guy talked a good game, didn't have the sack to back anything up. He was a habitual in the fact that not one shred of spit that exited his mouth had any truth to it. This man drove a wedge between me and my mom that took years to repair.
Meanwhile...dad wasn't having too much luck finding a woman either. He did marry Rhonda Ransom sometime in '84 or '85, but ti didn't last long. I couldn't stand her either but dad would never let a wedge be driven between him and his kids. Rhonda couldn't handle that so she split around '88 or so.
Mom kept clinging to Mike, even though he was lying through his false teeth, bouncing checks EVERYWHERE, and forcing my mom to have to move every 3 or 4 months. Had I known then what I know now....I would have put that scumbag out of his misery as soon as mom introduced him to me. He is the cause of a lot of pent up emotion that I held back for a lot of years. His negative influence effected me for years. I was so close to following him down the same road with the lying and self-imposed finacial problems. Mike wound up going to jail for excessive bad checks. My mom was granted an uncontested divorce from him. The last time I saw him was at his sentencing hearing. He can thank his lucky stars that I never saw him again.
Dad went on to marry another woman. Her name was Ellen King. If you ask me, Ellen didn't have a damn clue at all. She is one of the wierdest individuals with whom I have ever come into contact. She had two boys: Earl and Donald. We were pretty good friends prior to dad marrying their mother. We went from instant friends to step-brothers. It was awkward to say the least. You really get to know someone when you are spending all day with them as opposed to a few hours during the day. I always knew Earl was a hot-head, but I had no idea about how bad his temper could be. He and I squared off a few times at home, but we would never go to blows. This was before I joined the Army and knew how to defend myself. Add my current knowledge to that equasion and things might have turned out different.
Anyway...dad and Ellen would divorce and re-marry, and divorce again. Dad has lived alone ever since.
Mom was diagnosed with lupus around the time that her and dad split up in 1980. She would spend significant time in the hospital due to her condition causing kidney failure. She tried a kidney transplant from one of her sisters around 1992. The kidney didn't take. She swore she would never put another family member through that again. She was put on the donor list and she got another one in 1995. This one was accepted. The life expectancy of a transplanted kidney was five years, and she lost that kidney in 2000. She went to dialysis three days every week until her death on August 14, 2001.
Mom met Harry Garber in 1990 while I was away at Basic Training. She married him in 1995. Harry was the best thing to ever happen to my mom. He loved her unconditionally and still does to this day even though she has been gone since 2001. You can always tell which grave site is my mom's. Harry takes care of the head stone and keeps it decorated throughout the year with different themes to compliment the season.
Stay tuned - More to follow...
