pinkpantha's blog: "My Lyfe"

I seen you with her the other day I'm still trying to get over you but everyone knows Real love doesn't go away I look into your eyes just to see if your love has changed because in my heart I will always be your girl In my heart this love will always stay We began to gaze into each others eyes As i look back in time when you first told me you Loved me,As i reminisce I began to cry But then your girlfriend starts to pull you away as she turns her back I whisper"I Love you baby, Why did you go way? Why didn't you stay?" In my heart I'll always be your girl Thats something no one can change Because you were my first love and these feelings in my heart will always stay the same Nobody can ever take you place what we has should have been Everlasting,Thats something that would never end I loved you so much I wish it could have lasted till the end In my heart I'll always be your girl in my heart are love will always stay the same Even if your in love with someone else In my heart I will always be your girl Are love will never change!!

Listen really closely To my heart's confession Maybe if I get it out I'll be rid of this depression. I know that it's over But I still dream of you. I can see in your eyes That you still feel it too. It's breaking my heart slowly, Not to be with you. I just can't help it. Please tell me it isn't really through. I'm trying so hard to be without you. But I just don't feel whole. You were all my life. My Heart, Mind, and Soul. I know no matter what. You'll be there til' the end. But I don't think I can stand that. I need you as more then just a friend. I can't deal with this. Not having you is making me insane. I know that pain wont last forever, But the scars will always remain.

First we were strangers, Meeting online. Living our lives in happiness; Everything was just fine. Both of us were healthy, We went through the usual strife. Heartbreak and jealousy, We lived pulling through life. Getting to know each other, We became the best of friends. Still didn't meet face-to-face, But we got to in the end. Burning in our friendship, We'd never let it end. Whether we worked out or not, We'd still be best friends. And then one day we lost contact, You never picked up the phone. And every time I called your house, No one was ever home. I kept calling and calling, And I finally got through. I nearly fainted when I was told, What was wrong with you. You were dying; Had a deadly form of cancer. I asked your mother what it was, But she gave me no answer. All she did was cry and sob, I didn't know what to do. But one thing was for sure, I had to see you. Rushing to your room, I collapsed once outside. Sobbing at the sight of you, On the other side. Through the glass windows, I saw you laying there in bed. Your skin was no longer healthy, And there was no hair on your head. You were too weak to move, I didn't know you were so sick. Once a buff martial artist, Was now thin as a stick. Entering slowly, Making sure not to make too much noise. I whispered your name quietly, I needed to hear your voice. Slowly your eyes opened, They turned towards me. You smiled with all your strength, As happy as can be. You slowly opened your mouth, Trying your best to speak. Managing my name and more, Though you were so weak. "I'm gonna go soon, But promise not to give up hope. And no matter how hard it is, Try your hardest to cope. Don't cry too long for me, Because I'm always by your side. My soul will still be living, It was only my body that died. So try not to cry too much, And not to mourn for too long. I love you with all my heart, So promise me you'll stay strong." Your heart beat started slowing, As I sobbed out your name. I was already in tears, Smiling all the same. I heard footsteps from the door, And you spoke in a soft whisper. "____, my dear brother, Please take care of her." And after that, it was just all a flash. There was screaming and crying, Doctors' voices and rushing nurses, As you finally stopped dying. And those, those were the words, That were last spoken. Just before the world fell, And my heart was left broken.

No uttered words the poet speaks, No skies of golden hue, No tales of unrequited love, They were lost when I lost you. No words to caress his lover's heart, And gone the dreams he swore they'd live, But alone within the poet dwells, No uttered words... none left to give. No music swells within his soul, Just silence surrounds his heart, And the solitude engulfs his world, When the poet and love depart. And lost the beauty he once could see, And the glory he saw each day, Now the poet pens his last farewell, No more love can he convey. But what's the poet's soul to do? To release the love he feels, For he'll surely die and wither, If that love he now conceals. He must hide the hurt and heartache, Just smile to friends and say, I'm fine... love doesn't matters, And deceive them all that way. For a different face he'll show them, To barricade his pain, To hide his shattered spirit, From the love he ne'er attained. But the pain within shall kill him, Not soon but through the years, For the poet knows his anguish, When alone he sheds her tears. And at night when dreams come calling, With her voice, her smile... her eyes, A single tear upon his cheek, Hides the pain his heart belies. For he loved her soul completely, Was consumed by beauty's bliss, Had shared her inner thoughts, But never shared her kiss. And when death comes to the poet, And to heaven his soul ascends, He'll smile before her beauty, For eternity never ends. So will the poet regret the life, Which stole away the years, No he'll simply recall the love, He felt in all her tears. And when his love has joined him, And they meet in heaven's bliss, Their regrets will quickly perish, As they kiss their first sweet kiss. And the words will quickly flow again, From my thoughts, to hand... to book, I'll not write of God or Heaven, When upon your face I look. So the poet's again a poet, For the words were always there, I just didn't see much beauty, When your love I couldn't share. So their souls will find the love at last, That in life they could not seek, And the poet soon finds the words in you... The words... he could not speak.

Dear Lord I need your help tonight Cause I just can't seem to see what's right I lost your promise you made to me That you'd hold my hand eternally See I am dealing with the tears Dealing with the fears Of admitting that my heart is sold And that I'll never have his hand to hold I'm praying to you God down on my knee's I don't know what to do Lord, help my please I need you to take this pain away Take me into "Far, far, away" Where all my dreams of "us" can come true Where the storm is gone and the sky is blue My hands are shaking, stomach aching Don't you see Jesus my heart is breaking Sick of tears in my eyes Sick of hiding my cries Sick of pretending I'm okay Sick of trying to make this all go away Father just take my heart out of his hands And put it back together again I reached for his hand, reached for his heart But instead all I came back with was scars He wants to throw away memories and forget the past But those memories were what was going to make us last I thought he was the one, ~thought I'd found love~ But now I'm hurt and confused, ~I need your help from above~ I am trying to move on, have faith in your plan and believe But there is just something bout them eyes and the way he'd smile at me The way he'd make me laugh and the glow he put in my heart But now it seems like we couldn't be farther apart So tonight Lord I'm prayin' as I wipe tears from my eyes I'm waiting and watching cause I need a reply I'm so sick of hurting time and time again I'm gunna trust you with my life Dad In Your precious name ~Amen~

Sorry for not being able to go on I no longer have any strength My heart keeps breaking into pieces When you tell ppl Im just ur friend I dont know how to tell you this I cant seem to find a way To tell you that I think its time We went our seperate ways I am tired of being second Not being your only one Only being yours When your looking for fun I love you too much now I didnt notice what I was feeling And now its too late Since my heart is breaking I fell in too deep And I cant find my way out of ur heart Every single kiss u now give me Slowly tears me apart Now when you touch me I wonder if u touch her the same way And I no longer feel excitement Instead my soul slowly fades away So I think its time to give up on us And on everything we had I cant believe I am thinking this But I just cant control all of this sad Baby please understand me I dont want this to end I want to be in your arms forever I want to be more than just "special friends" But I know that you dont love me I know that I cant be more So thats why today Im letting go And I am walking out this door Its killing me inside For you are so great to me You arent just a luver You make me feel complete But I am hurting too much I cant deny my jealousy any more I cant get the picture out of my head Its making me feel so sore My heart is broken Ive been crying all night Because I have to let you go Because I have lost this fight You belong to her I was only a temporary thing But oh you made me happy You made me feel like everything But now with the new year And with everything we have done I say goodbye to you and remind you That your my only one But that you and I arent meant to be And I cant go on crying for you For I know this battle is lost I lost the moment I fell for you Ya know who this about...I feel like letting go, but something is holding me back. I cant do it girls. I am so stuck. I love him too much. And I just cant seem to find the way to let him know how I feel.

As the hours pass nd the lonelii daiis end ii keep lookiin 4 waiis to make thiis broken heart mend all ii have riight now are piictures to remiind me of the past just thiinkiin of me and u shows how stupiid ii was for thiinkin we would last the streets are not easy full of gangsters and thugs pandejos diie everiidaii maiibe cuz of drugz triin not to joiin in but cholos don't care iif u lose your liife the ones that care about you wiill thiink iit wasn't faiir chiiliin wiith the homiies liiviin "ThE CrAZii LiiFe" iits suddenly not theii fault iif u got stabbed wiith the kniife you hustle you blaze and everiithiin iin between and iim stiil here bii ur siide but now uve become the most wanted bii the poliice your chance of beiin iin the free world slowlii decrease hoes at everii corner trii to show what theii can do then u come bak to me and expect me to understand what u goiin thru u know iil alwaiis love u and be there 4 everythiin u do but beiin a "gangster" aiint gon show u the waii to a happii liife don't regret what u do becuz where u end up, iits most likely where iil end up too

“Just forget about him, just let him go” that’s what everybody said So I tried taking the images of you out of my head All the memories, the moments, and kisses that we shared They kept running through my head, that’s when I knew that I still cared I gave you all my heart and you only let it fall And once you loose that trust, you basically loose it all So I really had no choice I had to try to let you go We had it great from the beginning so I never would’ve known That you would go and break my heart, so it was time to say good bye You stood right in front of me while there were tears in my eyes And it wasn’t too long before a tear ran down your cheek I guess you didn’t want me to see. . Cuz you looked down at your feet As I stood there speech less all you could say was “I’m sorry” All I could think about is “why, why would he want to make me cry?” “Everything he ever told me, was it all a lie” So many thoughts and questions running through my head at once And then that’s when you asked me to please give you another chance But I couldn’t even look at you, I couldn’t even speak I couldn’t even move cuz my body was so weak I was in love so deep in love; I didn’t know what was real I was confused so confused, I didn’t know how to feel If you only knew the pain you put me through So many nights I fell asleep crying over you And when that song came on the radio, I just broke into tears Cuz I knew that loosing you was my biggest fear I didn’t want to let you go but I had to face the facts I had to take every memory of us and put it I the past And believe me, I tried, I tried with all my heart But I just couldn’t stand the feeling of us being apart And every time I saw you, I felt something inside And it just made me wish…. that you were still mine Even when I closed my eyes, I still saw your face I still saw us together, but that was no longer the case Part two below read please thankyou I tried hard to tell myself that you were no longer a choice But at the time I would give anything just to hear your voice You told me that you loved me; you told me that you cared You told me that you changed and that you would always be there So then I stopped to think “maybe I’m not being fair” “Maybe I should give him a chance, and ask him to explain” Why he brought me so much sunshine and in the end poured down the rain Days passed, weeks passed and I still had it all for you Then you told me that you loved me, so I said I loved you too So that was your second chance to prove it all to me From the beginning you did it, you were everything you’d said you’d be During the time I spent with you, my heart began to heal And I began to believe, that maybe this time it was real But then you started acting different, and things started to change I should’ve known from the beginning that it was just another game So many different people told me the same exact thing But its always hard to understand something you don’t want to believe You with another girl, I just couldn’t believe it was true This time I thought it was really over, that I was over and done with you But the truth is I wasn’t, I wasn’t over you, In fact, it was the opposite; I was still in love with you But I tried to act like I was fine, even though inside I was dying My smiles were all fake, every morning I woke up crying Not being able to hold you or even feel your touch I guess it was my punishment for loving you so much It was the worst pain I ever felt and nobody understood They just told me to get over you; they said they knew I would So I couldn’t talk to anyone, cuz no one felt my pain I had to do it on my own, pull myself out of that rain I felt it was impossible for me to just move on After loving you and caring 4 you, now everything just felt wrong How heart broken I was, I can’t even explain My eyes began to water, whenever I heard your name I didn’t fell like talking, I didn’t fell like eating I didn’t fell like living, but my heart still kept on beating I prayed and I prayed wishing I could just let go I cried so many rivers, so much you don’t even know After maybe 3 weeks, my tears slowly began to fade But I still thought about you, every single day Every day and every night, you were always on my mind Tears on my pillow, every other day I would find You asked for me back, and it hurt me to say no But I knew if I said yes, I would never let it go So I tried my hardest, to hold it all inside When you asked if I still loved you, I would just deny It hurt my heart to say: “I don’t love you anymore” But I really wanted to move on, and close that open door And until this very day, that door still remains open And in my heart I hold: memories of what happened Memories of “us” replay over again in my head Since the first day you spoke to me, I remember every word you said And now every poem that I write, it’s always about you All the stupid fu**en bullshit, you just loved to put me through I still loved you all along, and I don’t even know why But now, I’ve earned to live without you standing by my side And this is just to say and to prove everyone wrong When they said I would move on as long as I stayed strong I stayed strong that’s for sure, But my feelings remained pure I know I’ll always have you deep down in my heart And if had the chance, I would go back to the start I would make you cry for me The way I cried for you I would make you need me The way I needed you I would make you love me The way that I loved you I would make you miss me The way that I missed you But I guess this is how it ends: In the end we remained friends Though I’m not sure what kind I mean From lovers to friends, We’re still somewhere in between

I hear of all the stories, The sadness and despair, I recall the mute persuasion, Downed by deadly stare. But of all of the starvation, Just one speaks out to me, The journey of depression, Pure fate and agony. The adventures of a broken soul, Lost without a clue, Awakened from the restless sleep, I found out that soul was you. Deported from all wonderful, Rejected from perfection, Put in a place so cold and bare, Awaiting resurrection. Times began of toughness, Hate became infused, Self-wrath became infection, And you were the abused. However strong you were, Brains outwits the brawn, Nothing mattered anymore, All that's left is gone The messenger took over, Telling lovely lies, Wiping down your tears, Gleaming in your cries. Soon he had you tempted, Emotionally drifted, I watched horrific transformation, Now just sickly twisted. Messengers would never leave, You performed the act at night, Believing gimmick telegraphs, But it made you feel all right. You seemed fine for such a while, Until he began to show, Weight was dropping quickly, Death could come or go. Perched upon your shoulder, Was the devil's little singer, The messenger became the truth, You were getting thinner. Submerged beneath her ocean, Dead below the "fun," Taken over, soulless now, the messanger has won i would like to say thanks to my parents for well being them or i would not have let this thing become my best friend so at the end this is all i got a friend that will kill me isnt a real friend but i let it be cause theres no way else to end my suffering to but die in the hands of them and tell them this was my only true Friend

She was running away from her life she couldn't keep making her pain go away always using a knife she tried so hard to stop but she just couldn't her mind what full of thoughts she wanted stress to stop but it wouldn't she looked eager to leave she was going insane she regrets the first day she overdosed on pain she tried to forget the time he hurt her she tried to forgive his lies she was sick of living in a world like this she really wanted to die when she took out the blade her wrist went numb she couldn't figure out why she did this or who she has become she could get any help words were to hard to explain she couldn't seem to stop her overdose on pain it was so addicting to hard to stop she'd stare at her arms in shock she couldn't bare looking inside the staring glass shed fear the ugly girl in front of her while she looked into the mirror he was her life his love for her he'd tame he'd lead her on to nothing so she overdosed on pain there she lay silent overdosing on nothing new her life falling rite in front of her she thought it couldn't be true she always told everyone to be who you are she did the exact opposite first by hiding scars so always remember the girl whose pressure would always remain the girl who died yesterday from her overdose of pain. this is a poem about my overdose of pain that i gained over the years when nothing felt like anything in my life at all because at the end i jsut couldnt help anyone from the fall so as i sit here and ryhme my lines away theres nothing to help me remain the same