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It's coming up on that time again on May 10, when I lost three good buddies of mine in combat May 10, 2004. These times are hardest for me as I just went through a rough time last month celebrating the life of another fallen buddy. These are spread out through the year as can assume we completed twelve month tours. I can only express myself to get over the anxiety that takes place and the broken heart that sits in my chest for a good week before and a good week after. I used to rely on my closest friends while Active Duty but I recently just hot out the Army of 10 years and now I'm struggling to find that person or those ppl to confide in here in the civilian world. Only because most civlians don't know how to cope or understand or talk to a veteran that has lost something so close and/or been through (themselves) something so tragic. I know it's not the right thing to do but I usually drink myself stupid and retarded in the safeness of my own house and don't go anywhere. I recognized what a I was doing today when I purchased a bottle of Jack and two thirty packs of beer. They sit in my frige now. I don't feel, no'r has it helped, that seeking therapy works because i beleive that therapist are over paid opinion givers. I guess I'm using this blog as more of a journal since I don't really have anyone to talk to in person, and typing everything is just a waist of time.
To my brothers who rest peacefully above, I will see you soon my friends and I can't wait for the day we kick back and pass some beers around to catch up on everything we have done together in the past. You are so dearly missed but you are never forgotten. My brothers you have given the ultimate sacrifice and I will never be able to repay you for that. For my freedom and for my familys freedom you gave your freedom. No one and I mean NO ONE will understand what we went through except for those who have honestly been there. Tonight I will have a beer for you and on the 10th of every year I'm going all out like we always did back in the day when we were just privates. I so look forward to the day we can reunite and be together again. I will hold the fort down here for you as I know you are doing the same for me. Thank you. Thank you for everything you have done and given. You will always be in my mind, heart, and life. I will never forget!
