BCDaddy McSpanks's blog: "My Lifestyle"

~The Brat's Creed~ If I like it, it's mine. If I think it's mine, it's mine. If I want it, it's mine. If I saw it first, it's mine. If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine. If I can take it away from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. If it's in my hand, it's mine. If it's in my mouth, it's mine. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. If you even so much as think of it, it's mine. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. If it's mine it will never belong to anyone else no matter what. If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine. If you show me anything, then it's mine. If you go out and buy something, then show it to me, it's mine. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. If it belongs to a lover of mine, it's mine. If it looks like mine, it's mine. If it's broken, then it's yours.....

BDSM. How to begin No matter how long have you been feeling the urge to be involved in BDSM sexual activity, it's never too late to learn this unknown area. But as with the any sex activity, most part of it is left in the dark for a newbie. Find the right one to get involved with It's a common misbeliefe that people who are practicing BDSM or use BDSM toys do harm to each other. In fact many people who feel the urge to play BDSM think that you'd better pick up a stranger who is more or less "fit" for the role of "dominant" or "slave" than say to your partner about your "dirty" desires. This is absolutely wrong approach to the matter. Those involved in bondage activity set particular limits and keep to "Safe, Sane and Consensual". Know the difference between a "reality" and "play" Of course, almost all of us are manipulating the other person in a dominant or submissive manner to some degree. But that doesn't mean that "play" should be ruled by desire someone for a real "sin" or fault. So if you've just decided to use BDSM toy considering that your partner was not good at carrying out his duties, it's not quite a good idea to do it. Again, it's better to agree on all your interactions beforehand. Foresee all the possible risks The best policy in taking part in BDSM play is to have certain assurance in what is going to happen and avoid incidents. As most of the activities involve risks to one's health and even life, you should be sure that game will proceed within certain limits. So check on things that may arouse some problems to you: your and your partner's behavior, whether you'll be using BDSM toy or not, how much are you going to handle and so on. Next time you are playing bondage game you will be more aware of your needs and expectations. Specific way of communication Safe words are essential part of BDSM. All participants of the play use this specific language to let each other know what the limits are. While it's quite hard to talk in most games, signs, gestures or short words are more common for this purpose. For example, red color may signal your partner that you don't want to go further with the use of BDSM toy and yellow color may become a sign for a dominant to slow down things. Otherwise when you want to go further with the more "hard experience": you may also set a number scale so that to give a clue to your partner on use of BDSM toy. If, for instance, you want to sense it soft, you set it "from 1 to 3" and when you are ready to go the whole distance-"10". In any case, even if you are sure of your agreement, there should be a person who is in control of everything. It is a dominant's responsibility to make certain that he hasn't crossed the border. Choose the right BDSM toy First, you should be sure of your "limits" and then goes everything else. But no matter what BDSM toy you choose avoid those which hold extreme risks to your life. BDSM toy with sharp edges may serve you as a fetish thing but it can occasionally hurt your partner. Experimenting with household devices is also rather a risk for a newbie. Even if you choose one, you should make sure beforehand it works "all right" for yourself. In this regard BDSM toys which are sold in sex toys stores are more recommended than those you haven't tested and cannot be sure of. Be responsible of the one you are involved with With all the precautions taken, the play may though go wrong and a person who is in control of it should take measures to loosen bonds for instance. Always have a "way-out" to save the slave. It is highly recommended to keep a set of devices which will help you to do it. Being over there with your partner is a must especially when he is very much restricted in his actions and movements.

Daddy Doms A babygirl's view by Kendra I mentioned the term Daddy Dom in a chat room the other day and was greeted by a resounding Yuk! It got me thinking about the misconceptions surrounding this aspect of D/s. I realize most think that it involves a father/daughter relationship. That isn't quite true, Daddy/little girl is a much different level. I do not know if I can explain what I mean so I will simply talk about what a Daddy Dom is to me. First I should say that in my relationship my Dom is not my father, he is nothing like my father, and I have no need for him to replace my father. He is however my Daddy. We do not engage in age play specifically ( beyond the occasional school girl fantasy *s*) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. I am always all woman, and always a very independent woman. He does have the ability to make me feel like a little girl, however, a very cherished and sometimes needy little girl. It is a feeling that I revel in, it is the safest place I have ever been, and it allows me the freedom to be all that I am without fear of reprisals. So..what makes a Daddy Dom? First and foremost he loves his little girl. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him. Seeing her hurt however is not something a Daddy Dom wants. He sees it as his job to protect her, both from the outside world and herself. He may love to cause her great pain in a scene, but he hates to be the one to hurt her emotionally. It hurts him to have to punish her , but he knows it is sometimes necessary. This takes great strength on his part. It takes strength to control her, and to shape her to his needs and desires. It takes strength to be her confidant, her shoulder, her anchor. It takes strength to let her out into the world when all he wants to do is hold her safe in his arms. And it takes strength to do what is necessary when she needs to be disciplined. A Daddy Dom knows the value of discipline, though at times his soft heart gets the best of him. He knows that in order for his little girl to be the best she can possibly be he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises. He knows this hurts her, and that tears at his heart, but he also knows it is for her own good. A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissive..acceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn't matter. To him she is beautiful. Many of you may be asking what separates a Daddy Dom from any other Dom. In most cases very little. Hopefully they all provide love, strength, protection, discipline, and acceptance. I have heard Daddy Doms described as a kinder, gentler, Dom. I like that definition though I know it won't apply to all. I guess when it really comes down to it I can't explain it. There is something infinitely magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it is something only a little girl can understand.

Dominant's Creed Author Unknown Above all else a Dom/me cherishes Their submissive, in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives Them is the greatest gift of all. A Dom/me is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to Them, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift. A Dom/me is in control of Themselves first and foremost, so that They may control others. As a stern and demanding Dom/me, They can cause Their submissive to cry real tears. As the consummate lover, They will then kiss the tears away, without stepping out of character. In times of trouble, a Dom/me will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals. A Dom/me is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality. A Dom/me would never ask a submissive to put Them before their career, or family, just to satisfy Their own pleasure. To win a submissive's mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, a Dom/me knows They must first win their trust. A Dom/me will show Their submissive humour, kindness, and warmth. A Dom/me must always show them that Their guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of their attention, that this is a person they can learn from, and that they can trust Their direction. A Dom/me is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, They will fight for Their submissive's honour. A Dom/me proves to their submissive that They are someone they can lean on, and depend on. When it comes time to teach Their submissive their lessons of obedience, They are a strong and unyielding professor. A Dom/me will accept no flaw. Nothing less than perfection from Their student. Never does a Dom/me use discipline without a good reason. When They do punish Their submissive, it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand. A Dom/me is always open to communication and discussion; always ready to hear Their submissive's wants and needs. A Dom/me is patient; taking time to learn Their submissive's limits, and knowing that as their trust of Them grows, so will they. A Dom/me never has to demand ritual behavior from Their submissive. Their submissive responds to Them out of the want of pleasing Them. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. A Dom/me understands the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to Them. A Dom/me is secure enough to laugh at Themselves and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow. A Dom/me's tools are mind, body, spirit, soul, and love. A Dom/me understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/other. And B/both of T/them know that love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.