I'm almost 18 years old. I have figured out what i want out of life i know what i want to do with it also I know i'm going to be MYSELF...I'm not going to be like everyone else that i know that don't know what they want out of life. I know what I want:
1. I want a GREAT eduation
2. I want a job that I can support myself and my FUTURE family
3. I want a nice home
4. I want the man *which I already have in my life* that I can spend forever with
5. I want my life to be the best that I CAN MAKE OF IT.
6. I want my life to be the best for my FUTURE family
7. I wanna be able to support myself not only finacially but spiritually.
8. I want to have a GREAT LIFE, which will not be that hard because your life is what you make of it
I'm becoming myself, I'm gonna be out on my own soon and I know people think that I can't wait and yea that is true, but I also wanna be around and be there for my family and my friends. I am planning on going to Austin Peay this fall and majoring in Forestry, becuase I WISH to get a job with the Forest Service. I was raised in a campground and I couldn't do the things that the other kids did at my age, but you know what. I've been the luckiest kid in this whole world you know why...
1. I had the oppertunities that the other kids my age didn't
2. I have a family that LOVES ME and CARES FOR ME...not every kid has that or had that.
3. My grandparents adopted me to give me a life that my parents couldn't provide for me
4. I have a WONDERFUL boyfriend who has a GREAT family who loves him and cares for him and me also.
5. I had the oppertunity to grow up in LBL, NO ONE has had that oppertunity since they kicked everyone out of LBL.
6. I have two great friends who are my second parents who love me like I was their own child.
Just becuase I don't want to do things with my parents and my family don't mean that I don't love them. It's giving me the oppertunity to be myself and do the things that I wish to do, and me being alone gives me the time to think about what is going on in my life at this period in my life. It also gives me the oppertunity to think about things that I can do for the ones that I love and care for. I know I don't show it that much but my parents mean the world to me and if anything ever happened to them I would be lost. I wouldn't know what to do without them and their guidence there for me to have. They are doing their best to provide for a 17 year old girl, my parents are 60 YEARS OLD, but they are raising their grand daughter jsut like I was their own. Well I am theirs they adopted me to give me that oppertunity that they knew I wouldn't of had. For that I thank them. They are the greatest parents a girl could ever ask for, Yea i know I say I hate them when I don't get my way but they are doing that for my safety and because they love me and I know that but it just agrivates me sometimes when I've been good and I don't get to do anything. But I am understanding why they are doing that becuase they care for me and they know that I'm almost 18 years old and that I'm going to be leaving soon and going out on my own and they are preparing me for what LIFE is going to bring my way. For that I'm VERY thankful, I'm thankful for all the lessons that they have taught me and have tried to show me. I know they may think that I don't care about them and that I'm going to be like the rest of the other kids that they have had that won't call them to just say "hi how are you? Just thought I would call and see how you are doing." but I'm NOT going to do that, they gave me the oppertunity that THEY didn't have. They didn't have to take me in, but they did out of the kindness of their heart and I'm VERY thankful for that. They are the best.
But when I don't want to go with you some where PLEASE don't think that its because I don't love you. Becasue I do love you, more than I show. I love you both very much. I choose not to go with you becuase I wanna have time to myself and have the time to think about life and what I can do in my future to make yall better financially and be able to help you in the future when I get into college. I'm not going to be like the rest and get money and forget about the people that has helped me get to that money. I will NEVER forget you mom and dad, yall are the best parents that a girl could ever ask for. I have always loved you even when I don't show it, but belive me when I say I LOVE YOU! I know I'm a pain in the rear end alot now, but that's because there is alot going on in life right know and I don't know what to do about it, but things are getting better. I'm allowed to see Chris now and that was one of the things that was bothering me and killing me inside because I can talk to him in confidence and know that he will help me the best way that he can. Chris is the world to me and I know that yall may not think that I know what love is, but I do. Love is when you want the best for that person no matter what the cost is, weather it is a broken heart, you giving up everything for that persons happiness or just a 200.00 dollar phone bill. I LOVE him mom and dad, more than I show him, but I hope he knows how much I love him. He is the one that I want to be with for a LONG time maybe even forever. I know people think you don't find the one that your supposed to spend forever with in high school, but Me nd Chris will put that myth down. We will work through all of our problems and make it, beucase that's what love does it allows you to make it through hard times and cry in the bad ones and laugh in the good ones.
Chris is the greatest man I have ever loved like this, well he's the only one I have loved like this, that is why I've done the things we've done. Becuase we love eachother!!!! Chris is sensative/caring/loving/handsome/sexy/honest/loyal..he has the biggest heart that I have ever seen in someone my age. He cares about me and wants me to be hapoy and cares about my feelings and knows me and my moods and how to make me happy. Yea we have sex but that's not what our relationship is based on, its based on trust/loyalty and honesty to eachother. We talk about our problems that we're having in our lifes and we help eachother through them. We couldn't be more happy than we are right know, I love him with all my heart and soul. I will always love him he was my first and I hope that he will be my last. He has my heart he had my heart on Aug. 19th when we first met and he wrapped his strong arms around my waist and we started walking back to the game, that nite I felt like I was the luckiest person in the whole world becuase I had someone who has hot/caring/sensative/and very loving holding me. I've never felt like that before until he came into my life, I've never been this happy in my life until now. Chris has made me the happiest I've ever been with my life.
Well that is all for know, I think that tells just a little bit of what is inside of me.
Loves
CHRIS' LIL' DIXIE
ALWAYS AND FOREVER
