Samantha's blog: "My Life"

I want..........

to remember how it feels to be loved by some one

to know how it feels to be the most important person in someone's life

to recall how it was to be treated so special

to be someone's first priority

to have a fairy tale relationship

to have the man of my dreams

to have some one worry about me

to have some one who would be sad if i'm sad

to feel some romance in my life

to remember how it felt when some one gives me a love letter

to find my soul mate

to know if someone out there is meant for me

to find some one who would cry if i disappear

to be someone's most common thought the whole day

to be someone's cause of dreamy thought

to be someone's dream girl

a friend and a lover

More Lonely

I'm feeling sad because.......

I saw a perfect wedding on tv and I know that i'll never be married and have a family.

 I will grow old alone with no one by my side.

Nothing in my life seems to be working the way i want.

I can't control myself from falling inlove with someone.

I guess getting older this week just brings out the depressing things of my life.

I wished i've never remembered my birthday.

I was surfing online the whole day been doing it for three straight days. But suddenly now I feel down. I feel sad. I feel angry. I feel annoyed. I feel frustrated. I love watching movies, but now i don't want to watch anything. I always love trying and tasting new food but now i feel sick just thinking of eating. Been suffering insomia for years on and off and this never happened to me before. Guess something out of sync in my body and emotions. Son't like feeling this way. But I can't help myself.  I have an idea of what or who is causing thi but I don't want to tell him so. I have no right to tell him anything. So I guess I just have to endure this mode until this pass.

I want to tell you that I feel this way

But i'm afraid that it might drive you away

Lost you once before

Finding you now means more than the world

I must be content

I must hide what I feel

I'll just have to love you

In my fantasy

Even if it means i'm just words to you

Something you read and react to

It's better this way i should be okey

I don't want to loose you anymore