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jaguarportland's blog: "My Life"

created on 08/19/2008  |  http://fubar.com/my-life/b239747
Downtown%20Portland%20OR%20at%20night.jpg Well this is the beautiful city that im alone in right now. Sometimes i fell like crying. This has been a stressful year no doubt. Will anyone fall in love with me again. I know that i need to take care of myself but i cant help think what it would be like to get maried and have a sweet lil girl. Im 33 now and i wanna spent the rest of my life with someone. Just kind of hard because im in front of my computer being all depressed. Im usally a pretty strong person but call me human. I dont look the same as i do in that pic i took a year ago. Things are changing and i need a warm touch. I wanna spend my life with someone that is charming and sweet. We can hold each other threw the night. We can cuddle and watch romantic movies. I dont base my life of on judging people, i dont expect them to do the same. I cant help but think someone is out there thinking about me back.

trying harder

lightrainrevisiteduy2.png Well right now im not really doing much with my life. I know its kind of sad, i dont really have any freinds. Sometimes i go to chatrooms to try to get to know people but dont think much will ever come out of it. Im kind of sad sometimes, i mean i have to start all over with the falling in love thing. It could happen again but i wanna find someone to maby lay with at night. We can talk or just fall asleep in each others arms and be great freinds. Well i cant sleep again its like 2am in the morning. Welcome to my life so far. I will probally stay up another hour and then fall asleep. My lil dog has already fell asleep on my coat. I think she wants me too lay with her. She keeps look at me lol.

My support

blueroseft9.jpg Just met up with my mom and neice. I love them they are so great. My mom has always been there when i needed her. Yup she has met alot of ladys that i have been with in the past. Some she didnt like some she was okay with. LoL some that where too young she thought. She kind of told me that i might have too take care of her someday. I said mom dont worry about it, you know i will.My dad we never got along very well when i was younger but i tell you i love the guy now.They have bolth been good parents.

My dwag

lillydogtt4.jpg Picture if my dog lily. I love her so much,She is a good girl. Lily has been kind of helping me thew things.I could be totally depressed and she would come and lift my spirits.

A beautiful Girl

beautytx0.jpg Well i talked too a freind that was on my messenger. She dosent rember me but i rember her beautiful face. She seemed really depressed. I saw her on cam , i was wishing i could be next to her. Id like too give her a lil faith, and give her a big hug. Love yeah Jou not matter what. I will always be youre freind.

My sad heart

42120045ls5.jpg Not too much going on right now. My gf passed away this month. Im doing okay for right now. Just had the funral March 22, 2008. We took her off life support she was pretty much gone. No brain activity her eyes where fixed and dilated.It crazy becuase i just talked too her the morning before she passed away.Told me she was doing fine. I dont know, i dont understand but life goes on.

Its just me and life

youngermeqm3.jpg Its just me and life.I play how i feel sometimes and decided too put it on my space too see if people like it.Its not the greatest but it all came from my heart.Thats the most important thing out there is too well speak from youre heart,mind,and soul.Sometimes i wonder where my life is going too go,what kind of things are around the corner.I try too have faith but sometimes i dont always want too be around.Im trying too be positive.Welcome too my life
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