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M P BNn's blog: "My Life"

created on 01/04/2008  |  http://fubar.com/my-life/b174750
How does your personality affect your love life? Given the strong degree of confidence that you have, it’s no surprise that you get along well with most people. Indeed, it’s self-confidence that allows people to feel comfortable interacting with others without feeling insecure and vulnerable. For this reason, you shouldn’t have much difficulty in romance, at least not initially. Your social skills will likely help relieve any anxiety your romantic partners might have on those first few dates. However, over time, the high standards that you have for yourself could potentially frustrate your partner. As someone who enjoys the excitement of a night on the town and is uncertain about the prospects of settling down in a serious romantic relationship, you would probably be most satisfied in a relationship with someone that shares these qualities. For this reason, you would probably be quite content in a romantic relationship with someone who also enjoys going out to parties and staying-up late at night. Finding yourself in a relationship with someone that wants to cultivate a family in the near future may lead to eventual conflict in the relationship due to different life aspirations. Because you are more relaxed than most people, you’re probably attracted to most people. However, your free-spirited nature might make being in a relationship with a person that is more rigid than you difficult because you might perceive the person as being too uptight and controlling. For this reason, you may ultimately be most satisfied in a relationship with someone that is shares your level of self-control. Your openness probably makes it easy for you to respect and appreciate people that are different from you. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, your openness might make it difficult for you to tolerate people that cannot appreciate diversity as much as you. Therefore, you may be happiest in serious relationships with people that share your open-mindedness. But, your openness might occasionally cause a certain degree of dependency on your end because you may be so open that you easily adopt the preferences and habits of your partners and gradually relinquish things that make you so unique. As someone who is very hard working, you may find it difficult to get along well with everybody, especially with people that don’t share your work ethic. Therefore, when it comes to romance, you’ll likely be most attracted to people that derive as much satisfaction putting in long hours as you.

Get to know ME

**Self-Confidence** As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent. The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it’s likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you’ve done in the past and are not embarrassed easily. Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it’s very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities. **Family Orientation** As someone low in family orientation, you’re not sure whether raising children and developing a family is what you want out of life. If you already have children, you enjoy spending time with them, but may feel somewhat constrained by the stress of being a parent and wish to “cut-loose” more often than you may be able to. If you don’t have children, you’re probably not very sure whether you desire having any in the future. Or, perhaps you’re not ready to settle down into a serious relationship just yet. It’s not necessarily that you are opposed to the idea of having a family, it’s just that you’re not convinced that the domestic lifestyle is for you. This sentiment is illustrated by the fact that you don’t particularly enjoy doing things around the house—like cooking and entertaining guests. Instead, you tend to prefer eating out at restaurants and going to clubs and parties. It’s possible that in time you might prefer spending more time at home as you may eventually grow tired of late nights out. However, your voracious appetite for excitement might make staying at home on a weekend night unappealing. One thing in particular that sets you apart from more family oriented people is that you tend to be expressive and tend to make your frustrations known to others. In addition, you tend to appreciate spending time with other people and work well with others. In fact, you very much enjoy getting things done, and by attending to familial issues while continuing to get your work done you may find settling down in a traditional romantic relationship stressful and unpleasant. **Self-Control** The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate. As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you’re given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level. Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it’s possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to “stay within the lines.” Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring. **Openness** As someone high in openness, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it’s likely that you are easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of your openness is your emotional insight; that is, you probably have good access to and awareness of your own emotions. Another aspect of the openness dimension is the tendency to think about abstract concepts and ideas. This thinking style may take the form of artistic and metaphorical use of language, and/or music composition or performance. Thus, it is likely that, either in your work or spare time, you enjoy activities that get your “creative juices” flowing. Your tendency to be open-minded can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easier for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. In contrast, you may be bored easily in situations that lack high amounts of intellectual stimulation. In such cases, you might have difficulty excelling on projects that do not provide much stimulation or require much creative thinking. **Easygoingness** Easygoingness refers to one's ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to work very hard and accomplish a great deal. The benefits of being low in easygoingness are that you achieve high levels of success through deliberate planning, persistence, and hard work. Your colleagues and friends also likely consider you as intelligent and reliable. However, your strong work ethic may lead others to perceive you as a perfectionist. This could produce stress in a few ways. For example, you may find it difficult to continually accomplish the high standards that you set for yourself and people you work with might find it overwhelming. In this way, being low in easygoingness can make both your life and the lives of the people around you difficult. Being very conscientious may also make it difficult for you to sit back and just relax because you may be too preoccupied with work-related issues. Low easygoingness may diminish the quality of your social relationships too. Your propensity to work very hard and for long hours may make it difficult for you to attend to other aspects of life where there are no real goals to accomplish. Nevertheless, you will likely never be criticized for being unreliable or unable to follow instructions. Yet, you might find yourself feeling burned out from too much work.
You know when you meet up with people from your past, you recall all the good and bad times you had. Talk about childhood memories, places you may have visited, stores you used to go to a lot, remembring neighborhood kids that would run around the streets while their parents were inside not paying attention to them. I don't have that....I know at one point I did but now I don't remember anyone from my childhood. It's gone. I have one memory and it's the one that I wish I would've lost. I know I was about five maybe six, I was an odd but cute child, I never fit in with the others. I know that because I looked so different. While most kids had brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, there I was big blue eyes, light skin, and dirty blonde hair(yes my hair was that light when I was younger). Anyways I know it was around Chrismas time because I wanted to sleep in the living room that night. It was late and cold, I was kind of in that half asleep state of mind, I didn't really know what was goin on but I knew it wasn't good. It was something that should never happen but it did. Not because my mom and dad couldn't protect me but because they put their trust in a family member. I think being aware of the possibilities is the best way to protect your kids. He took that sense of trust from Me, I can tell you although that idiot is far away from me, I trust no one when it comes to my babies. who would ever think that someone related could harm your little ones, but its possible. Just be aware, It happens more than you think. Much love to all you that take the time to read xoxo Laura

RIP Nina Rachel

So today is my Nina's funeral service, it's not a good day, but I we will be driving to Redlands to pay our respects. She was a wonderful women. My Mom tells me that when She was 20yrs and pregnant, Her and my dad came to the US. My Nina was the first and only friend She had here. She always looked out for my Mom. It sucks knowing She is gone, and Im really gonna miss Her. I love you Nina. If there's one thing you do today, let it be that your thankful for your family and for yourself. We never know when its our timeto go, don't let it be too late. xoxo......Laura

Last year

Being 24, having my two girls, and bein with "the man" that i was suppose to spend the rest of my life with. You would think I would've been happy, but in all reality that was not the case. I had a great job with a promosing future....and yet when I went home it was more like hell. Having to deal with the devil himself. Yeah I called him that for a long time. Not knowing if one word...one wrong move would set him off. Why is it that when you are with an addict you are the one to blame for the bad times? I didnt get it, I don't think I get it now. I wasn't the addict, why would I have to suffer that stronghold? I would look into his eyes and there was chaos and madness, a hatred for me that I had never felt before, and just before I would be thrown across the room, fallen to the floor and crying I would see this calm in Him. You know its sad what you will put up with when all your taught as a lil girl is to make it work, and that you don't just quit on your family. It was a week before Christmas in 2006, San Bernardino gets really cold,we get the chilly breeze from Big Bear mountain. I was sitting on the couch watching a movie playin with Skyler(a roommates baby), the girls in the room playing a game, our roommates scattered throughout the house, and He walks in....it was all over from there. He was angry, why? I cant really tell you, but at that moment I knew. I acted stupid and said I was tired and goin to bed. But He had other plans. I never understood why when you tell em no, they think thats the green light. I had enough I wasnt giving in this time. I fought Him. Not again, and never again would I allow myself to fall a victim to Him. I wear those battle scars proudly now, I know what I've been thru and its okay. I left the next day knowing that I would never return. And I havn't. You know the best part of living my life has been that because of what I went thru I appreciate life and love, don't take it for granted. Love makes you feel great, and never holds you down.
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