Cannabal Lecter's blog: "My life.... not smoking."

Well 7 months later, still nto soking, but got a congratulations for quitting smoking 50 pounds... woot... but hey I can breathe without coughing and I ahve more money.. so wth.

I think I know why non smokers leep so much.. .to stop the jonesin... yupthat's it.

Last couple at work have been interesting... still ahving the problem with damn patches falling off... so I shaved my arm today.... at least it stayed for most of the day... its still hanging on right now....byt a hair... HA

Its amazing how much I cough now damn it like I have a crapload of shit in my lungs I wanna get rid of.... no way really? I never noticed how stupid people drive either... I think half of them have their head shoved up the arse...  and the other half are on the phone.... or texting... or I saw a lady doing her hair in the car.... Glad I don't multitask like that.... just a smoke and the steering wheel.. and the smoke is gone now so I have even more time to focus on the road...

And another thing I notice... are people are fucking rude.... what the hell happened to please and thank you... Do they not exist outside of the internet? Have we all been so polite to each other on the net that we forgot how to be polite in person? OMG you mean this ISN'T REAL????

so I know I got a long way to go have cheated a couple times and had a smoke... didn't taste like it did last week... maybe its my own way of trying to remind myself they taste like shit... but I think 1 smoke isn't going to make me fall off the perverbial wagon... and who came up with that saying anyway? Oh look Bill fell off the wagon... if you ask me he is dumbass for sitting on the edge like that... serves him right....

I'm not bitter.... just bitter... HA

Ok so here the first day is winding down a bit.... I learned one thing the patch sucks ass... it falls off... placement is crucial... and if I am supposed to use it for 24 hours... why is it not water resistant lol

Over all.... the first day not smoking..... is a bust.... I smoked 1/2 a cigarette earlier.... It was almost built in to my head to go outside and have a smoke... I've caught myself trying to go outside 10 times today without even thinking of it.  So either 1 of 2 things are working at it here... I now know that I am a creature of habit for sure.. and I appearently really liked smoking...

This might just be harder then I thought... but I am more the capable of doing this. Like a friend told me last night, (Sandy) You have always done everything you set out to do... and this will be no different.., but man.... I tell ya....

I want a cigarette.... but I haven't coughed all day, and I could almost breathe out my nose... so I don't think I want it that bad yet...

Canna

Day 1 is here.... the patch is one my arm... and my arm in tingly...lol  I hope the patch doesn't kill me, you know cause I've been so worried about for 23 years that I have been smoking.

spent my cigarette money on food, so there is no turning back now lol.  I do want to tahank everyone for their support with this choice.... its going to be quite an expierience.  You know for 23 years after dinner I have had a smoke, when I woke I had a smoke, when I got in the truck I smoke, when I went to break I would smoke. What the hell am I going to do with that time now.

I guess if I quit smoking I can go back to the bar and become a raging alchoholic... lmao   ( I stopped going becuase of the smoking ban cause I like to smoke when I dirnk) And yea... what to do about drinking now... guess I will have to find something to do with my life.

Oh so yesterday I went to do a survey for Marlboro on there SNUS (SNOOSE) found it rather disgusting, my roomate likes it so he didn't by any cigarettes cause he going to use that.... trading cancer if you ask me, from lung to mouth. But to each their own, he has a box of patches too, so anyway... SNUS they have 4 flavors, rich amber peppermint and spearmint, rich and amber had a baileys irish creamy smell and the other two are pretty self explicit. The guy running the thing had no personality what so ever, you would think he was just doing this for a living... prolly has had so much SNUS in his mouth by now he has an eternal buzz from it. I wouldn't bother with it though...

But I did get a 50.00 gift card, which I am using as we speak lol.

Have a good day, see how today and tomorrow goes, they say the first week is the hardest... I would think it will be a struggling for a long time.

Go Broncos :D

Canna