Phil's blog: "My life at random"

The medic stood and faced God Which must always come to pass. He hoped his uniform was clean, He'd gotten dressed kinda fast. "Step forward now, paramedic. How shall I deal with you? Have you always turned the other cheek? To my church have you been true?" The medic squared his shoulders and said, "No Lord I guess I ain't, cause those of us who wade in blood, can't always be a saint. I've had to work most Sundays, and at times my talk was tough. And at times I've been violent, cause the streets are awful rough. But I never took a penny that wasn't mine to keep... although I worked alot of overtime, when the bills got too steep. And I never passed a cry for help, though at times I shook with fear. And sometimes, God forgive me, I wept unmanly tears. I know I don't deserve a place among the people here. They never wanted me around, except to calm their fears. If you have a place for me, Lord, It needn't be so grand. I never expected or hand too much, But if you don't I understand." There was silence all around the throne, where saints had often trod. As there medic waited quietly for the judgment of his God. "Step forward now, paramedic. You've borne your burdens well. Walk peacefully on heavens streets. You've done your time in hell."

Standing in chest deep water,freezing rain falling and stinging as it hits the exposed parts of my body. Holding her head above water to keep her from drowning until rescue could get there to cut her free--- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER comforting a 89 year old woman who just watch me and my partner cover the face of her husband of 64 years as he lay dead in their bathroom floor--- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER on scene at an mva with mom trapped upside down in her car and her dead sons body laying on top of her without a second thought for my own safety i crawl into the wreckage to take C-spine control and calm the frantic lady--- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER called away from my just prepared meal to respond to the middle of B.F.E to a house with no numbers,no porch light on,nobody waiting to signal us in and they bitch because we took too long only to find out the patient left P.O.V ten minutes ago...so we smile and walk away from the verbal lashing only because we are JUST AMBULANCE DRIVERS standing in the middle of the street at midnight on the wrong side of town trying to patch the holes and stop the bleeding of a 19 year old shooting victim with the occasional bullet wizzing past our heads we never break stride because this kids life is in our hands--- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER doing chest compressions on a 16 year old girl who decided this life was more than she could take.Her family screaming at us to help as though we are the ones who did this to her.Her lifeless body flailing about as the tube goes in and IV's being started, my arms and back burning from the pain of 30 minutes of CPR never once giving up, hoping she would make it through and over come whatever lead her to this bad decision---- BUT I'M JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER death is all around me and still i go home to live my life i get kicked,hit,spit on, bled on, puked on... i look into the eyes of a lifeless child at 7am and by 8 am i'm holding my child a little tighter and they know nothing about what happened. i have hundreds of hours of classroom time years of in the field experience i have challenged death and won i've helped the helpless i've neglected my family for yours i find comfort in complete chaos i eat cold meals if i eat at all i work with no sleep for days at a time i miss birthdays,holidays and school functions i put myself in harms way for a total stranger on a daily basis ALL BECAUSE I AM JUST AN AMBULANCE DRIVER I AM AN AMBULANCE DRIVER!!! I DRIVE 90 MPH THROUGH CONGESTED TRAFFIC FULL OF PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO YIELD RIGHT OF WAY WHILE MY PARTNER STANDS UNRESTRAINED IN THE BACK OF THIS SCREAMING LAND MISSILE SAVING YOUR LOVED ONES LIFE!! NEVER ONCE DOES HE QUESTION MY DRIVING HE KNOWS THAT AT THE END OF THIS SHIFT HE WILL GO HOME TO HIS FAMILY SAFELY BECAUSE I AM AN AMBULANCE DRIVER....

Sorry if we woke you in the middle of the night, But someone in your neighborhood is fighting for their life. Sorry if we block the road and make you turn around, But there's been a bad wreck with dying children on the ground. When you see us coming I hope you'll understand, Let us have the right of way someone needs our helping hand. Sometimes a child is choking; sometimes a broken leg, Sometimes a heart stops beating and when we get there it's too late. So if you see us crying when we think we are alone, You'll know we had a bad one and we're feeling mighty down. We don't do it for the money you know we don't get paid, We don't do it for the glory but for life that might be saved. Somewhere deep within us our souls are crying out, We're here to help our neighbors in their hour of pain and doubt. God gave us something special to help us see you through, We do it because we love you and we care about you too.

When God made paramedics, He was into His sixth day of overtime. An angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." God said, "Have you read the specs on this order? A Paramedic has to be able to carry an injured person up a wet, grassy hill in the dark, dodge stray bullets to reach a dying child unarmed, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform." "He has to be able to lift three times his own weight. Crawl into wrecked cars with barely enough room to move, and console a grieving mother as he is doing CPR on a baby he knows will never breathe again." "He has to be in top mental condition at all times, running on no sleep, black coffee and half-eaten meals, and he has to have six pairs of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands...no way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God replied. "It's the three pairs of eyes a medic has to have." "That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded. "One pair that sees open sores as he's drawing blood, always wondering if the patient is HIV positive." (When he already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job) "Another pair here in the side of his head for his partner's safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, "You'll be alright ma'am when he knows it isn't so." "Lord," said the angel, touching His sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow." "I can't," God replied. "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk out from behind a steering wheel without incident and feed a family of five on a private service paycheck." The angel circled the model of the Paramedic very slowly. "Can it think?" she asked. "You bet", God said. "It can tell you the symptoms of 100 illnesses; recite drug calculations in it's sleep; intubate, defibrillate, medicate, and continue CPR nonstop over terrain that any doctor would fear... and it still keeps it's sense of humor." "This medic also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with a multi-victim trauma, coax a frightened elderly person to unlock their door, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how Paramedics were unable to locate a house quickly enough, allowing the person to die. A house that had no street sign, no house numbers, no phone to call back." Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Paramedic. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model." "That's not a leak," God replied, "It's a tear." "What's the tear for?" asked the angel. "It's for bottled up emotions, for patients they've tried in vain to save, for commitment to that hope that they will make a difference in a person's chance to survive, for life." "You're a genius!" said the angel. God looked somber. "I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE" He said.

I want to tell that little boy his Mom will be just fine. I want to tell that dad we got his daughter out in time. I want to tell that wife her husband will be home tonight. I don't want to tell it like it is, I want to tell them lies. You didn't put their seat belts on, you feel you killed your kids I want to say you didn't ... but in a way, you did. You pound your fists into my chest, you're hurting so inside I want to say you'll be ok, I want to tell you lies. You left chemicals within his reach and now it's in his eyes I want to say your son will see, not tell you he'll be blind. You ask me if he'll be OK, with pleading in your eyes I want to say that yes he will, I want to tell you lies. I can see you're crying as your life goes up in smoke. If you'd maintained that smoke alarm, your children may have woke. Don't grab my arm and ask me if your family is alive. Don't make me tell you they're all dead, I want to tell you lies. I want to say she'll be ok, you didn't take her life I hear you say you love her and you'd never hurt your wife. You thought you didn't drink too much, you thought that you could drive. I don't want to say how wrong you were, I want to tell you lies. You only left her for a moment, it happens all the time. How could she have fallen from there? You thought she couldn't climb. I want to say her neck's not broke, that she will be just fine. I don't want to say she's paralyzed, I want to tell you lies. I want to tell this teen his buddies didn't die in vain Because he thought that it'd be cool to try to beat that train I don't want to tell him this will haunt him all his life I want to say that he'll forget, I want to tell him lies. You left the cabinet open and your daughter found the gun. Now you want me to undo the damage that's been done. You tell me she's your only child, you say she's only five. I don't want to say she won't see six, I want to tell you lies. He fell into the pool when you just went to grab the phone. It was only for a second that you left him there alone. If you let the damn phone ring perhaps your boy would be alive. But I don't want to tell you that, I want to tell you lies. The fact that you were speeding caused that car to overturn and we couldn't get them out of there before the whole thing burned. Did they suffer? Yes, they suffered, as they slowly burned alive. But I don't want to say those words, I want to tell you lies. But I have to tell it like it is, until my shift is through And then the real lies begin, when I come home to you. You ask me how my day was, and I say it was just fine I hope you understand, sometimes, I have to tell you lies.

BASICS: Name: Age: Location: Height: Hair (color and style): Eyes: Piercings/tattoos: OTHER: 1. Where would we go on dates? 2. Who is your favorite artist? 3. Do you drink/smoke? 4. Do you like the rain?i 5. If so...would you play in it with me? 6. Do you like movies? 7. If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night? 8. Could we cuddle and just fall asleep together? 9. Would you kiss my neck? 10. Do you play any sports? 11. If so...what? 12. Would you call me right after we saw eachother? 13. How would you rate your kisses from 1-10? 14. Favorite body part on you? 15. What would you say is the best thing about yourself? 16. Do you have any reps (ie: heartbreaker, prick)? 17. Would you give me a kiss just because? 18. Would u sleep in the same bed as me? 19. Would u take me home to meet your parents? 20. Would u have sex with me? 21. If so, whats the soonest into our relationship you'd have it? 22. Would you tell your friends we had sex? 23. Would u let me touch u wherever? 24. How smart are you? 25. Do u have a specific body type that u lyk? 26. If so wut is it? (fat, skiny, chubby, athletic,etc)? 27.What would u do if i cried? 28.If i were 2 ask u out what would u say? 29.Would u makeout with me? 30.If we got to the point in the relationship where I told you I loved you, what would you say? 31.Would u ever cheat on me? 32.Would u ever trust me? 33. Would you ever lie to me? 34.do u consider yourself to be, cute, fine, ugly, average, sexy, or no comment?